children of dune - leto 1

pretty much anything will work for me

As literally everything seems to be on its way to hell or trying to lodge itself in my spine, I needed some kind of triumph. Like, one I could actually see and use.

In general, this mood requires me to build something or code something; as I can't bend my back at all, I went to coding and tried to think of something code-related that I really needed in a language I knew or could learn quickly. The project needed to be large enough to require all my attention but small enough I could finish it in a day or two because I need a hit of triumph like whoa.

...and while reading tumblr, PgDn once again jumped straight to the bottom instead of scrolling and my momentarily dramatic rage was replaced by the realization I had a Project: a bookmarklet to go to the top of any webpage. Yes, you'd think my Project would be something to fix the problem of PgDn (only happens in tumblr), but no; it reminded me when I'm on AO3 sometimes a fic is very long and I want to jump back to the top instantly while in the middle. Go with it, okay?

So for Project ScrollToTop, I would need Javascript DOM and I girded myself for some intensive searching, which actually took roughly five minutes to find and ten minutes to write because fuck my life, the one time I want a challenge, I don't get one. There's a command for this. Just--right there ready to go.

In case anyone wants them:

 * Scrolls to top of any webpage
 * Compatible with Safari, Chrome, Firefox, Opera
javascript:void function(){var body=document.body;var html=document.documentElement;body.scrollIntoView();html.scrollIntoView();}();

 * Scrolls to bottom of any webpage
 * Compatible with Safari, Chrome, Firefox, Opera
javascript:void function(){var body=document.body;var html=document.documentElement;body.scrollIntoView(false);html.scrollIntoView(false);}();

So that was anticlimactic and required nothing more than the ability to cut and paste basic commands into the template. Triumph? I'll take it.

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children of dune - leto 1

adventures by me

So I made a terrible mistake Monday during my work from home; I stood up and my back decided enough was enough with that kind of bullshit (standing, apparently?):.

Short version: Agony, called my doctor and made a telepointnment for Tuesday, got worse, got worse, called the triage nurse, who called an ambulance when I started sobbing, who came to check my vitals and recommended heavily I not go to the hospital unless there was no choice.

(They were awesome btw; they were really clear without saying outright 'COVID and you may be lying there for hours like this before someone sees you not kidding. Your doctor will see you today somehow so try that first.' And yeah, they were right.)

When I called my doctor's office back, the nurse listened to roughly thirty seconds of my probaly not entirely understandable babbling, then apparently spoke to someone, so they fit me in twenty minutes later. It was literally a ten minute video appointment since my doctor's office went digital and she'd read all through the drama with the nurses and ambulance and was ready with a muscle relaxant, an anti-inflammatory, and some kind of gel. Then mom and Child (somehow) packed me into the car to stay at mom's house for a couple of days because I literally could do nothing but not move to avoid agony and that times ten if I got tense. As you can imagine, not being tense was pretty much goddamn impossible.

Verdict: I strained my back and possibly a disc but very unlikely. By...standing up too fast from a cross-legged seated position on the couch with poor back support and poor posture, something I literally do every day for work so yeah, this was coming.

The muscle relaxants and anti-inflammatory finally fully kicked in this morning, so I could move provided my back didn't. On the upside, I now understand entirely what people mean when they say 'lift with your legs and not your back' by dint of horrifying pain every time I used my back.

There are two comfortable positions: "hunchback of notre dame" and "broom nailed to back" and I can't do much in Quasimodo mode so I'm coming out of this with much better posture. So far I have mastered: standing up (mostly, with a convenient table or Child in place, sometimes on my own!), sitting down (can do on my own!) and walking, provided I keep my back straight (or alternate: Quasimodo, but nothing in between those two or screaming). The hardest part is remembering when I stand up to check my posture before taking a step (or agony), and checking my posture again before I sit down (see: agony). If I'm not straight, I feel it from my back straight down to both achilles tendons; talk about effective classical conditioning.

I honestly has no idea how many movements connect to a three inch area of my goddamn back and for that matter, how many alternatives you can learn so very fast to avoid that.

I am glad I have been sleeping in two-three hour intervals instead of full nights the last two weeks. Sleeping does stiffen everything, but I notice a big difference between a one hour nap and a three hour sleep and do not want to even guess what six hours would be like. I am going to set a couple of alarms tonight just in case.

One day, I'm going to have a fun adventure.

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children of dune - leto 1

i have never read love in the time of cholera

So I live right by a highway.

This was a feature of this complex, other than proximity to work and a convenience store. I lived in the country and constant rural quiet broken by the sound of the train, coyotes, wild dogs, or What The Hell Pretend It's Dogs got old fast. I used to use TV, and still do, but the highway helped. I tuned it out fairly quickly but opening the porch door would bring it back, so generally, anything I heard was something I should pay attention to--people outside my porch, sirens, things actually close enough to worry about.

The highway is almost silent and boy that is getting to me.

I work from home, but that's been the biggest change so far; I am not social and do delivery groceries anyway, so not a lot changed. But a.) work from home and b.) that highway: it wasn't super active at night, but it was a highway and now it's silent.

Also, I hate work from home; I didn't realize my base level of social interaction at work was so important, just to listen to people and talk a little, share annoyances and successes and nothings. I think people really underestimate the part coworkers play in your life, categorizing them as 'work friends' as opposed to 'real friends'; I have no idea what that even means. I'm not sure 'friend' even encompasses what these people are to me.

I spend more time with coworkers, prefix 'friend-' or not, then pretty much anyone. They probably know me better than my own mother; they know my work ethic, if I get shit done, if I slide on some things (and what those things are), if I'm timid or confrontational, they know me in the morning before coffee and can judge my mood and if I did laundry on my choice of clothing and if my hair is clipped up or not. they've proved that. I know Y is up for something or do not approach by her slump at her computer; I know J's approachibility by how he wears headphones; I know who to call, in order, when I need shit done. I know who knows the most, who's the most competent, who's the best, and who gets shit done, and how those four things are not ever embodied in the same person at the same time, ever, but everyone is always one of them whether they know it or not. I know who needs me to push them, who needs me to flatter them (not hard, they're all worthy of a lot of it), who needs to be nudged, and who will slam forward without thought so I only call when I need a bull in a china shop.

We work individually, but the truth is, we're a unit, we just don't notice; there are pieces of them I need that I don't notice except now they're absent. I need them desperately; I am less me in absence of them.

This would be my angst, work from home. Everyone else mourns normal shit like movies and parties and hanging out with friends; I am yearning desperately for my desk and coworkers and a second monitor; how do people get anything done with only one?????

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children of dune - leto 1

books: the queen's bargain by anne bishop - an addition to earlier review

Okay, so I woke up this morning and didn't remember I'd written a review of The Queen's Bargain until I opened gmail during lunch. I did a quick re-read, as I read the book in five hours and wrote the review in three in a haze of wtf and sleep deprivation aided by coffee and Orange Vanilla Coke and for all I could clearly remember it might have been an entry of screaming and capslocks.

So, it was actually real words in full sentences--that was a genuine relief--and I stand by it, but on re-reading, here's some important information for those who commented in my review of Twilight's Dawn and hated Damon/Surreal like a lot.

I have good news: this book is yours and you should have it.

Amazon link: Th Queen's Bargain by Anne Bishop

It will help to have feelings for Surreal that hover between 'vague neutral' to 'hatred like the heat death of the universe is an understatement' but not necessary.

Go forth and wallow. I can't guarantee it is everything you ever could have dreamed, but I can't think of anything she missed. Usually fanfic is the only place we can punch canon in the face like this and you have been given literally the first ever instance of canon punching itself in the face for you and I think I speak for everyone when I say that you are living the goddamn dream.

I can only hope all of us experience this one day.

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children of dune - leto 1

books: the queen's bargain by anne bishop

Just finished Th Queen's Bargain by Anne Bishop, the latest installment of the Black Jewels series.

Okay, so.

So you know how in canon, if one half of your OTP gets with another character, even if you previously really liked that character, you sort of hate them, too, and you're conflicted as shit? And then you try to be fair and write fanfic about Member of OTP/Other Person to power through the conflict and as it turns out, your id gives no shits about fair but you don't realize that until you're in too deep but it's so satisfying you just can't stop and then you're writing your OTP again, the other character isn't recognizable even to you, and you just don't care, fuck canon.

Welcome to The Queen's Bargain.
Collapse )
I don't hate it and actually enjoyed it--though you couldn't prove it from this entry--but for the life of me, I can't work out why the hell happened. After I re-read, maybe I'll be less--wtf?--but I just can't get over the primary goddamn plot is one usually posted to AO3 three days after canon fucked your OTP and you had a lot of feelings to express about it and didn't sleep until you expressed them all.

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children of dune - leto 1

my life is not that interesting

On Purpose

I successfully made salted caramel sauce.

I did not successfully sauce anything with it yet, as it's easier to just spoon it directly into my mouth.


I started playing Stardew Valley.

Along with moving back outside to write (cleaned porch, new cushion!), I'd been trying to find another equivalent to Farmville while waiting to get into alpha testing for the new Glitch that is apparently coming out. I like semi-casual stationary gaming to relax with some kind of plot and Pokemon Go is--not that, it's for walking and whatnot. So.

When I was sick in late Jan/early Feb, I decided to test drive my new tablet with it after trying to get into it last year. This time, it worked, and also, I rediscovered my love of farming games. There's something ungodly soothing about planning, harvesting, and selling crops and raising livestock; it always zens me out. Stardew has the added advantage of an actual plotline and people, which I ignored for the first two years until I had a comfortable savings, two barns and coops, and sufficient livestock to afford having friends, picking a house husband, and raising toddlers, cows, bunnies, pigs, goats, sheep, and ducks.

(The side effects of being a late Gen X kid; I remember the Reagan years and bankruptcies and the economic death spiral of 2008. Want to know why I am still ambivalent about buying a house or even a car (should I want to drive)? See above. This pretty much informs all my gaming. I'm in Year 7 with a million in Starview money and a regular monthly income (cheese, mayo and fruit trees) of 10,000, but I am still doing careful crop math every season for maximum profits and worry about grass invasions. I feel crazy buying chairs and tables. It's very weird.)

Anyone else playing? Anyone know how to get tea?

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children of dune - leto 1

almost forgot

I replaced my laptop battery two weeks ago.

I knew it had gone bad, as batteries do. I had no idea how bad it had been getting before failure until I got the new battery (thank you ebay!) and realized that actually, it used to be able to hold a charge for 5+ hours in Balanced, not one and a half to maybe two hours at best in Power Saver. It's a whole new world.

Also I found in my battery settings I adjusted it to 'cool' settings which was hobbling performance. I have no idea why I did that or when but that does explain why I've been frustrated with performance along with dying battery.

Note: to be fair, I buy laptops that are overpowered; they're desktop replacements and I usually pick gaming machine specs with the highest CPU and either highest RAM or highest potential RAM; hard drive, don't care, I get the smallest because I usually replace it myself. So battery life will never ever be something to write home about, but still.

Also: finally, all Christmas-related items are now fully packed away, and I got a new cushion for my outdoor loveseat and am tentatively starting the move back to spending cool afternoons and evenings and (being me) nights on my porch instead of inside. I basically moved back inside ful time after Terrible August 2017, but when a 49.99 cushion appears before you on sale for around $13, that shit is a sign.

I need to put up the second set of porch blinds I bought when I moved in for the front left (first set and sunshade are up on the front right side) and get a new set for the left-left to block wind and get privacy at night, but it's shaping up. And a new outdoor rug, but only after doing a clean sweep. In April, I think I can also move some of my houseplants outside; currently, they colonize an end table hovering close to the sliding back door for indirect afternoon light, but I feel ambitious.

In August, I will have been here four years and will sign for a fifth year; I'm so glad I picked this place.

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children of dune - leto 1

food buying and preparing in review

Recipe Apps

Due to Pepperplate going to a subscription model, I went looking for an alternative.

I don't object to paying--I'm a software tester and currently head up mobile app testing, hell yes I know what kind of work goes into even a simple app--but I do object to doing it every month. I like buying apps; all the games I buy now but Pokemon Go are pay upfront and no in-app purchasing. Non-Game apps, if there's an add-free premium paid version, I upgrade. Pokemon Go is literally the only exception to this.

So, I bought Paprika 3 off Google Play, which is pretty much Pepperplate but without a working web interface (I think?). It does have a Windows program you can sync with but it's $29.99. And while I might quail normally, I have to admit I am at least going to try the trial and see.

(I am seriously tired of inventing my own versions of anything I need using spreadsheets and what is becoming some terrifyingly complex VBA scripts (and oh God so many subfunctions) that are sometimes half comments to explain what I'm writing, what it's subfunctions are, and why. I love coding but would like to go back to doing it recreationally for Agincourt and Pokemon Go and work and not to get through my life without forgetting rent or buying nothing but brownie mix and cotton candy grapes and computer parts.)

When I say it's basically Pepperplate, it is; there are some quirks, but nothing to write home about so far. It let me import everything from Pepperplate and there were a few oddities, but Pepperplate's import system often had some oddities that with some, I forgot to ever correct.

My biggest objections with pretty much all recipe programs (the ones with features) still stand, however.

Meal planning

Recipe apps really really like the daily calendar thing to do meal planning, you have to add a meal or meals to a day, which no.

a.) That's not how I plan, like, at all. I plan by month; this is what we're eating this month at some point. I don't want to add for a day; I have no idea if I'll have time, if Child and I are both home, if Doordash will give me 15% off and free delivery, or if bread and cheese is the limit of my functionality that day, okay?

b.) you can't just see a flat list of 'meals added for month'. You have to go day by day. See above.

c.) You can't manually add a meal without an attached recipe.

It's a taco kit; I do not need a recipe, I need a box and ground meat. Other variations: spaghetti, frozen gnocchi alfredo, tamales, Frozen family size lasagna, Frozen Marie Callender Because I Had Coupons and I Love Her Chicken Fried Steak and Turkey Dinners, Subs n'More Has Tamales This Week Hell Yes, etc. I don't need the recipe; I need them for my meal count. I need to be able to see Thirteen to Sixteen Confirmed Meals Of Some Kind, Yes, Including the Three That Are Just 'Sandwiches or Something'.

d.) no option for special meal planning or one time things aka Family Reunion Things, etc

The entire meal planning alone is just really outdated; I don't know anyone not in much higher income bracket than me who does planning at that level (and wouldn't they pay people to do that for them?). Even my mom during her (very few) SAHM days in the eighties didn't microplan three meals a day; she had a husband and three kids and hell yes, she planned, but she did it like I do, dinners for the month, and the only hard dates in there were ones with complicated shit, like her three hour prep for lasagna. When she went back to work, the same thing applied. And breakfast was planned at 'oatmeal, waffles, or cereal'. Fancy breakfasts were vacation or big family party territory and this is Texas, it didn't meed to planned: it involved eggs, two or more pork products, several variations on the basic potato, biscuits and gravy. Aka Special Meal Planning.

I mean, leave the option for the calendar if it makes you happy! But have a month list option and without dates. Yes I can do it on my spreadsheet, but if I do that there, I might as well do most of it there instead of glancing from phone to spreadsheet to confirm.

Add to Grocery List

I actually like this functionality but it has issues.

a.) It will add the same thing multiple times if the wording is slightly different and so far, I can't work out how to manually edit the grocery list after the fact. I can remove something before adding if I do it from the meals calendar page, but not condense.

Chicken broth and chicken stock are the same damn thing. Chicken bouillon is a form of chicken stock. A can of cream of chicken is the same as a can (14 oz) of cream of chicken and a can of condensed cream of chicken. 'Salt and pepper to taste' is not an ingredient. 'Garnish' is not an ingredient. 'eggs' and 'Eggs' are literally the same. I get it's being thorough so it gets everything, but a merge function or something would be good here.

Or even--I would love this--a grocery entry of "Chicken, Total 4 lbs" and you can click to open a sublist that breaks down your specific chicken needs there by recipe. Like, this way does reduce my workload--and it does list the recipe(s) for each entry on the grocery list--but not by very much. I'm currently in the process of going through my recipes and standardizing, but one day, someone is making a recipe app for me.

b.) Buying location options: I'd kill for that. HEB, Amazon Prime, Amazon Pantry, Amazon Fresh, Whole Foods, Sprouts, Central Market, Trader Joe's, Instacart, Target, the list goes on. Yes, I know that would be a whole round of complicated, but seriously. I don't expect the local Latino/Mexican and Indian and Halal and Chinese and Asian markets, but when you have a major online presence that specializes in online grocery shopping, it shouldn't be this hard to comparison shop.

c.) Alternative: ability to manually edit grocery list entries with place/price. There are many local and many online options; when I see a good deal, I want to note it down if I cant' shop immediately. Sometimes it may be over by then, but the alternative is I'll forget it.

Food Shopping in General

Amazon Fresh finally came to Austin, and--it's not bad? Prices are reasonable and a pretty good variety. Mostly, though, the more Amazon encroaches, the more I hope HEB with level the fuck up already. They've had the time and funds; for decades, they had a practical monopoly over most of Texas, so it's not like they didn't have the money to get into this.

The smaller local grocery stories, especially the halal and Chinese and Indian and ones like M Mart--don't have a lot to worry about; they specialize in what you can't get anywhere else and if you can, it's not the same quality. The Mexican/Latino grocery stores are local to the community and also have really good prices; they chose for location to get their population perfectly, and again, you can't get most of it from online, and their only real competitor is HEB, who--to do them credit--do adapt their merchandise (and believe it or not, prices) to the community.

(In Austin, we have an HEB for four rough groups: Jewish people, Latino people/Mexican immigrants, upper middle class people who feel brand loyalty and/or want to save gas so don't want to go to Central Market or Whole Foods, and working to middle class (untyped). You know when you walk in: one has a massive Kosher section (in fresh foods, frozen foods, and meats); one sells nopales, tortillas made fresh in house, parts for tamales, fajita kits, and has special fresh cooked chicken caliente (hot chicken basically) you can buy with three sides (refried beans, rice, and corn or flour tortillas, optional jalapenos), and a three chickens for eighteen dollars deal (if you need the address, email me; you won't regret it, I too buy in bulk); one has stuff with French names and organics with Central Market labels and God's own produce section; and one has none of that and no one really wants to go there but that's what they have locally. When possible, we all go to one of the others. (We'd go to the upper middle class for steak, butter sales, boomerang frozen pies, and their produce section, then the local Latino HEB for actual groceries and dairy, ground beef, chicken, and pork, three to six fire chickens, tortillas and bread, and anything needed for barbecue or fajitas. The Kosher HEB had better beef than anywhere but was too far away for casual groceries unless we happened to be in the neighborhood.)

Part of my excitement that Amazon was piloting taking EBT (SNAP/food stamps) was that it might finally force the major food chains to play nice; they have dragged their feet with online delivery so damn much. Yeah, six years ago it was the province of those with money but how the hell they didn't look ahead and realize that was going to change fast blows my mind. Specifically--and Amazon is pretty much the only one who seems to get this--people using EBT with limited funds? Hell yes they'll comparison shop, note price gouging, and with free delivery--if amazon is willing to take the hit--they could get most people on Food Stamps who don't have a friendly local market that specializes to the community. (Wal-Mart is as close as I have to friendly local market; everything else is a minimum hour bus on weekdays and two hour on weekends. Yeah, no. I miss my local HEB and regular fire chickens like you have no idea.)

And I can't lie: the better it is for business (for Amazon, for major businesses) to get EBT money, the better protected the program is. If the free market can protect it, by God I will support it.

Creamy Tuscan Chicken

My new favorite dish; we make this twice a month now at Casa Jenn.


4 chicken thighs or 3 breasts
2 Tbs olive oil (can substitute regular oil, butter if you're experienced)
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup chicken broth
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, granted
1 cup spinach, frozen or 2 cups fresh
1/2 cup sun dried tomatoes
1 box angel hair pasta or favorite pasta

1. Cut up or slice chicken into double the size of bite size. Think half the size of a chicken tender
2.) Heat olive oil and cook chicken for three to five minutes. You can also skip this and use leftover or precooked chicken, it literally makes no difference in flavor
3.) Remove chicken and set aside
4.) Add heavy cream, broth, garlic powder, Italian seasoning, and Parmesan cheese to skillet (add butter or olive oil first if you had pre-cooked chicken and skipped two and three). Whisk until thick
5.) Add spinach and sundried tomatoes. If using fresh spinach, continue until spinach is wilted; otherwise, five minutes or so.
6.) Add chicken, heat thoroughly, then pour over pasta.


For leftover chicken, this is a fast meal, maybe twenty minutes prep time. Now, some suggestions.

1.) Sometimes, it won't thicken because food. Either create a roux with cornstarch or a white sauce base with three tablespoons butter and three tablespoons of sugar, then pour in some of the liquid above to start the thickening process.

2.) Check your sundried tomatoes; are they super strong flavored? Cut them up into quarter. I love them but the first time I had this, I left them whole and they really overwhelmed my taste buds.

3.) You can use whole milk instead of cream, but in that case, definitely make the roux or cream sauce first. If you're using 2% or 1%, add more butter and flour to get the fat up. If fat free or skim milk, check the flavor and if doing the cream sauce, you may need a roux anyway to get the thickness and flavor or start with a four tablespoon butter/four flour white sauce.

4.) Sub in broth for cream and you will need to create a white sauce (with broth) or roux.

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children of dune - leto 1

weird world problems

So my problem is: my nails are growing too much.

Yeah, that looks just as crazy as it sounded in my head, but it's true and it's weird.

I have never in my life had fast growing hair and nails: I also bite my nails. Pregnancy and about six months after is the only exception. However, two things have changed.

1.) I started taking a multivitamin
2.) I successfully--almost by accident--stopped biting my nails.

I'm gonna say (2) is a huge factor and frankly, you can't get back in that kind of habit once you start, as I tried the first time I realized I was missing keys when typing due to Nails. I hate it. But I own literally no things for nails but a battery powered nail buffer/file thing I used without batteries to quickly file down edges or something. Yeah, I went through a manicure phase a few years ago, but it didn't stick.

Now, why is this a problem, other than I lack the basic skills of a ten year old for nail care? It's affecting my keyboard use. Like, this is a hard no never wtf. I've had to borrow--BORROW--nail clippers twice to stop nail-tripping on the keys and yes, I need to buy some on the first but how is this my life? I used to want long nails when I was younger because everyone's hands looked so good and mine not so much and I was wrong. This is bullshit; I had null characters in my code and weird ass misspellings in a fic that are not in my autocorrect list due to my left hand being slightly faster than my right when typing (no, really). Worse, much worse, I couldn't feel the keyboard with three fingers due to asshole nails and that was like, IDEK, creepy: left middle and right middle and fourth, no keyboard feel but (sometimes wrong) letters appeared on the screen like a hex was involved.

I really needed to vent that; you'd be surprised how many people just don't understand.

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children of dune - leto 1

advice columns - the reckoning

A decade ago, I did an entry on why I read advice columns and that it was for the crazytrain: the people in insane sitches who seem to be asking the entirely wrong question. I have been on that train, and I like to get updates from people still there.

Okay, so I still hold by the four types of people who write to advice columns (excluding most fake letters):
1.) ones that want confirmation of something they already plan to do (and will do even without confirmation) or already did (and want reassurance)
2.) people who just really want attention
3.) really dumb.
4.) WTF people. They aren't writing in due to being stupid, wanting attention, or just confirmation, though they can be all of that. They are literally stumped on how the fuck they got to this, because they feel this isn't normal, but they don't know at what point they boarded the crazy train, because they've just been on it that long.

I was in group four: no, I never wrote an advice column, but man, I probably should have. But not for the columnist.

Ask a Manager is more or less universally right, mostly because she's advising for sitches related to work and never deviates from using professional metrics and strict professional ethics. Which is an accomplishment, honestly; very few people can keep that kind of ethical standard to their advice that consistently; her only weak point is marijuana use (she's very pro, and honestly, so am I), where some of her advice felt--not wrong, it wasn't, but not my 100% sure reaction. Her, I trust absolutely. She also differentiates clearly between 'wrong', 'bad idea', 'prob not recommended', 'should be fine but be careful', and 'cool'. I literally can't think of a columnist who does that, but there may be a reason for that.

Dear Prudence, Captain Awkward, Dan Savage, et al: not so much. All have a moral standard and relative moral standard: none have a consistent ethical standard. When they talk about ethics, it's only when it matches their morals (as of, apparently, right this second). Which is actually my biggest problem; even in relationships--maybe especially--morality is in flux constantly, is a spectrum, and can be squiggly as hell, but ethics shouldn't be. Something can be immoral (by some standards), but it can still be ethical. And honestly, I'm not sure most of them know there's a difference or care.

(It's not that there aren't good reasons to be unethical--there are, many of them--but the first step is to admit that and then why the deviation is necessary compared to other actions. That's kind of the basis of being a thoughtful person that does more good than harm. It also helps to have an ethical framework, yeah.)

However, that's not about that: this is about the reason I dropped Captain Awkward to 'maybe read if I'm really bored and want to re-read favorites' from 'sometimes when I'm bored': her comment section. Now granted, she already heavily moderated against any dissent whatsoever (any kind, even the kind that agreed in the wrong way which is apparently dissent?) to the point I felt like I was reading what she said over and over and over and over (and over, dear God), so she wasn't on my regular list, but she started closing comments at random on most posts, and I don't read for the columnists, but the comments and discussion. Why?

Well, its like reading a hundred advice columnist who don't need to worry about ad revenue, but also, the discussions are where I see the ethical--again, not moral/immortal nonsense--hashed out in detail. What is ethical in general --> what is ethical to this situation --> what is ethical to this person. And that's where you see the best advice come out; sometimes, it agrees with the columnist, sometimes it doesn't, sometimes, I don't agree with columnist or commenters, but the arguments and even individual comments as a whole do a really good job of chasing down the bits and pieces that define right versus wrong. And as a normal human being who struggles like a lot with differentiating 'this is right', 'this feels right', 'this feels right to me right now', it does help solidify my own internal action check and often adds nuance.

Also, they're funny as shit.

Just as good: communities that comment on those columnists like [profile] agony_aunt.

In closing, my favorite Captain Awkward post of all time and an example of how the crazytrain gets you: My Partner Keeps Inviting His Ex Girlfriend to Stay With Us

I can work out how this happened and around that age? It could have easily happened to me. I, however, would be asking shit like "should she be paying like, rent for the time she's here?"; this woman is doing better on that front.

(Yes, I deliberately left out part of the title: I wanted it to be a surprise.)

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