Being on call for sudden, inexplicable testing (I literally do not know why they want me on call or what it is that might be tested. That could be a problem should they text me. Strangely, they didn't seem to think so) is possibly second in boredom levels only to those days we have REALLY IMPORTANT TEST TO RUN AT NOON and you're still waiting, breath bated, at two wondering if you can dial it down to defcon three now because that level of alertness is both exhausting and weirdly frustrating. This happens a lot with REALLY IMPORTANT TESTS, you see. And you can't move an inch from your computer because inevitably, once it starts you have a narrow window to finish the test due to reasons and life as we know it will end if you fuck up, so no pressure or anything.
I don't object to testing on weekends. Much. I object to being at defcon three for twenty four hours because REALLY IMPORTANT TEST NARROW WINDOW FUCK UP END WORLD and I still don't even know what it is we are testing. It involves, I understand, mass update triggers and batching. And possibly skynet and Romulans destroying Vulcan and soylent green.
I have a feeling this is a preview for what the Oracle update is going to be like. Oracle updates require teh equivalent of simple regression testing, ie we just do a lot of tests we always do to make sure nothing is legitimately broken, you might say, because there are not just levels of broken, there are shades within those levels. One of the most important is how long will the goddamn tester argue this is a problem?
One of the developers, we'll call him V, is probably a really nice guy IRL and not on the job. On the job, however, to say I want to light his work persona on fire and dance on the remains is not necessarily an overstatement of the case. I see it from his pov--I'm arguing about things he thinks are fine and have been like this for a while and do I hate him or something. From my pov, just because it's been broken for many years does not create a grandfather effect of making it not broken; it's still broken. Also, yes, I hate him.
I think the problem with him, being newish, is this; when I'm wrong, I admit it and close the defect immediately. This may create an illusion that either a.) I don't know what I'm doing or b.) I'll withdraw anything if spoken patronizingly enough to. Which proves he hasn't read back four years of defects (which is actually ridic easy to do, just hit the filter), which is sad, because he probably also doesn't appreciate that my last comment, which was an elaborate and sincere apology that I'd obviously been terribly unclear about what the defect was about and I was happy to clarify it, was actually a much kinder level of sarcasm than he deserved. As my lead read it over my shoulder and reminded me I should be kind because reasons, and with a few exceptions, most developers go through a period of god-like infallibility in their own minds before they settle in and stop taking anyone logging a defect as a personal insult.
The entire group in charge of one of my programs--the one that I've been given defacto specialization over--only got control of it this year, and they're still really sensitive about some things, like the fact it sometimes doesn't work, and being programmed in goddamn Adobe Air, which there is no hell like this, by the way, you can't even fucking source it by page and load time is unreal. But besides that.
Students, experts recoil at alcohol enema case - the only reason I'm even mentioning the weirdness of this was that for the life of me, I knew I'd heard of something like this before. I realized just a few minutes ago it was Law and Order: Criminal Intent, specifically about a woman who organized hen parties (bachelorette parties, I think?) and she'd been using cocaine vaginally, which killed her, but at least did not involve an enema.
I'm going to be kind of brutally honest here; I am not saying I have ever been particularly insensitive to peer pressure or anything, and there are probably a lot of things I would have done and regretted in college and high school if I'd been told firmly enough it would make me cool. Having said that, I can state with a lot of certainty that nothing on God's green earth would have gotten me to take a nozzle up the ass in front of a group of peers for the purposes of getting drunk.
This is probably because I still have vivid memories of an actual rectal exam in my teens with a moving table that moved in slow motion to raise my ass higher than it had never been before for long camera related purposes and as I watched the floor approach in direct proportion to my ass's ascension, I wondered how my life had come to this.
I get the getting the drunk faster and the peer pressure and everything, but. To voluntarily take that position (utterly humiliating) with a nozzle involved (are you kidding?) in the age of cameraphones and youtube blows my mind. I'm not saying it's more important than potential alcohol poisoning, but I'm saying, whether you live or die, that shit is eternal, and worse, if you die, you will end up on 100 Stupidest Ways to Die in all your ass-up glory. With a nozzle.
It's like, how could you not see the social media consequences from a mile away?
Also, Bullied Teen Gets Last Laugh - if you need something heartwarming, read this.
ETA - thanks to green_grrl for the link:
Sikh Woman Teaches Reddit a Lesson in Tolerance - I can't think of what to say to this but amazing. She's amazing.
“When I die, no one is going to remember what I looked like, heck, my kids will forget my voice, and slowly, all physical memory will fade away. However, my impact and legacy will remain: and, by not focusing on the physical beauty, I have time to cultivate those inner virtues and hopefully, focus my life on creating change and progress for this world in any way I can. So, to me, my face isn’t important but the smile and the happiness that lie behind the face are.” - Balpreet Kaur
Oh look, still not called. This is going to be a long night.
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