If anyone else run into this and the forums don't help, so far--tentatively--saving only the library xml somewhere else and deleting everything iTunes/Apple off the computer, including the folders in appdata/local and appdata/roam. And that also means uninstalling Apple Updates, Apple Mobile and Bonjour and deleting or removing all your iTunes/apple folders. I'm thinking now the preferences were corrupt in some way, but at this point, I'm just grateful everything's working.
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