Log in

No account? Create an account

The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
this isn't how I thought the zombie apocalypse would go, I'll be honest
children of dune - leto 1
After almost an entire two weeks free of any national reports of random naked cannibalism--I can't believe I'm writing these words, because it never occurred to me that there'd be an internet in existence when such words could be typed--Florida brings the bicep-eating man.

Latest 'zombie' eating attack: Man under the influence gets naked, bites off chunk of man's arm

References: Face Eater #1 and Face Eater #2

While granted, Bicep Eater has not yet been confirmed to have taken bath salts, a fit of rage followed by stripping naked and then immediately developing a taste for living human flesh is surprisingly familiar, in that we could almost call this--I can't fucking believe I'm typing this--symptoms of the use of bath salts.

I want to go on the record as stating: in general, while drug abuse is like, bad and stuff, the attraction of feeling, say, good (or talking to the wall or a tree, depending on the quality of your dealer when shopping for acid; it was a nice convo) or blissing out in a stupor with your ten best buddies makes the myriad health, safety, financial, and judicial risks understandable. However, when the feeling is less 'good' than 'rage' and the documented side effects are nakedness and an uncontrollable desire to eat body parts (while still attached to someone who is, well, fighting you to keep them intact), I'm just not seeing the attraction.

I pity any kids going though DARE right now, though; guess what they'll be seeing on the projector screen.

Posted at Dreamwidth: http://seperis.dreamwidth.org/939866.html. | You can reply here or there. | comment count unavailable comments

  • 1
Living in Florida is enough to make you want to bite a chunk out of somebody.

Just for the record, I only bite Republicans who are raping the educational system.

*bites lip very hard*

Okay, that I can see.

I think this is my favorite post of the week.

Thank you! It's fairly surreal to realize you may actually be living in the zombie pre-Apocalypse.

dude! I about pissed myself laughing when the CDC felt compelled to issue an actual I-am-so-not-kidding *press release* to the effect that, no, we are not in the zombie apocalypse. the spokesperson had a sense of humor; they noted that any emergency kit that prepared you for the zombie apocalypse would serve nicely for fires, floods, earthquakes and so on.

true, dat. *ponders*

I never would have called the nakedness part of the zombie apocalypse.

nah, that just sounds like too much mushrooms n' moonlight, heh heh heh...

as for DARE, it's already a complete joke; the kids around here brag that they learn how to use paraphernalia correctly in DARE classes.

fuck, life's too damn funny some days... or to quote John Brunner: "Christ, what an imagination I've got."

and today some asshole killed his family's dog under the influence of K2 synthetic "marijuana".

the common thread in all of these attacks is synthetic euphoriants. the DEA and its canadian equivalent have most of the easy and direct metabolic euphoriants sectioned off as Controlled Substances, so now the bootleg chemists are reaching a long way sideways to find a metabolic pathway not already blocked. and we have *no* trustworthy data on what they are doing, or how it affects humans in the short and the long term -- and these braindead fucks don't care, it's all about da Benjamins, ya mon. you couldn't pay me money to take any of that shit. if it wasn't grown by someone I know, we're done. I don't need da feelgoods that bad. not in any hurry to die yet thanks anyway.

I'd write it off as evolution in action if only they killed themselves and not someone else. s'pose that makes me cold. *shrug* used to work ER. ya get used to stuff. human stupidity is a powerful force.

  • 1