Seperis (seperis) wrote,

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this isn't how I thought the zombie apocalypse would go, I'll be honest

After almost an entire two weeks free of any national reports of random naked cannibalism--I can't believe I'm writing these words, because it never occurred to me that there'd be an internet in existence when such words could be typed--Florida brings the bicep-eating man.

Latest 'zombie' eating attack: Man under the influence gets naked, bites off chunk of man's arm

References: Face Eater #1 and Face Eater #2

While granted, Bicep Eater has not yet been confirmed to have taken bath salts, a fit of rage followed by stripping naked and then immediately developing a taste for living human flesh is surprisingly familiar, in that we could almost call this--I can't fucking believe I'm typing this--symptoms of the use of bath salts.

I want to go on the record as stating: in general, while drug abuse is like, bad and stuff, the attraction of feeling, say, good (or talking to the wall or a tree, depending on the quality of your dealer when shopping for acid; it was a nice convo) or blissing out in a stupor with your ten best buddies makes the myriad health, safety, financial, and judicial risks understandable. However, when the feeling is less 'good' than 'rage' and the documented side effects are nakedness and an uncontrollable desire to eat body parts (while still attached to someone who is, well, fighting you to keep them intact), I'm just not seeing the attraction.

I pity any kids going though DARE right now, though; guess what they'll be seeing on the projector screen.

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Tags: crosspost, random

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