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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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parenting means not worrying about standards when you rec fic
children of dune - leto 1
This may sound, on the surface, like laziness, but you have to take into account that Child is a.) within the first flush of reading a new pairing and is b.) fifteen, so when he demands Dean/Castiel recs, I am not required to hysterically evaluate for quality lest he judge me not so silently (he is not silent, ever). Or even read it, really, because, and I say this with love, he is a teenager and I've seen what he's reading; he does not know the difference between Godiva and Hershey, or even perhaps Godiva and brown colored substances that may or may not even be chocolate, if I can be blunt here.

Also, I'm pretty sure though not entirely that he may or may not be writing it himself, and because I value his privacy, I am not checking any word doc with a suspicious title but dear God I want to.

Parenting is hard. Like, drugs, alcohol, knocking people up, bullying, etc, those weren't too bad for parenting decisions, but honestly, do I or do I not read his fic is my big ethical dilemma. I suspect my ethics will deteriorate if he doesn't change his password soon. He's got to learn the magic of using ones with more than ten characters and throw some numbers and special characters in. I mean, if you think about it, it's almost like a life lesson in passwords. That's a very--parental duty, really.

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...well. I assume you go over your writing techniques with him, and encourage his writing ability. You are, after all,probably the best writer of your generation. You can be modest- but- at minimum, I would expect you to help the technical aspects of his work and inspire his creativity.

If he doesn't turn out to be JD Salinger I would say you failed your parenting duties. But! No pressure.

If you read it, wouldn't you feel compelled to say something about it? Even a beta comment or two? It's just more trouble than it's worth.

You would totally be teaching him a responsible lesson! I mean, what happens when he's out somewhere and thinks, 'oh, I'll just use this simple password.' And then some horrible miscreant comes along, someone without his best interests at heart!, and cracks it, and then he's left out in the cold, exposed and vulnerable. It's practically an IMPERATIVE for you to remind him, in a gentle and caring home environment, about the dangers posed by bad password creation.

(funny story: we have posters up at work that urge users to make their passwords "H@rd2crAck!" So far, we have had THREE PEOPLE use that as their ACTUAL PASSWORD.

I despair.)

I appreciate the fact you are giving the Child space. When I was growing up (some time during the Middle Ages) my parents routinely read my diary, snooped through what I now realize was my attempt to write Beatles fanfic, and worst of all, commented on what I'd written, sometimes in a mocking way.


I had no idea that *commenting* in diaries was something parents ever DID.

*is horrified*

No, they commented aloud, as in "so, you want to do a semester abroad through AFS, but only if you lose 20 lbs. first. Well,you'd better get cracking on the losing weight, right?"

Oh. My. God.

I am so sorry. I can't even--*shudders* I mean, the closest I've come to that is checking his email periodically for child predators or unfamiliar names with the wrong age ratio to him (hasn't happened yet!)

Just. God. No.

Almost 90% of that was my dad, who earned his living as a negotiator for the US government, setting little traps for foreign governments in trade negotiations. He lived to "spring the trap" on them, and it overflowed into our family life. He was the kind of guy who'd see you starting to watch a mystery on tv and would say "have you discovered yet it was the wife who did it?" It's a kind of "gotcha" sadism, I think. A funny aspect of a man who was in most ways a loving and caring guy, with the capacity for empathy. It's a good thing I discovered therapy.

dude. my stepmother told me I was a sick fucking pervert who oughtta go work in the sex trades. good thing she didn't find my actual pr0ns, huh?

It's always hard to bite your tongue or struggle to not notice and/or to not judge.

Does he have a beta reader yet? Because another important life lesson is simple stuff, like not using "cerulean orbs" as a descriptor for eyes or something. So many of us learn that lesson the hard way.

Also, you're clearly the best mom ever.

If he writes Dean/Castiel I may do a cartwheel in RL. I remember his first fanfic you posted years ago about Nightmare on Elm Street and he was so wee then. Now? I have no doube any Dean/Castiel would be freaking awesome.

Also, snooping is totally a parental duty. My parents did it to me when I was a teen and reading slash. I was horrified at the time, but later I was darn happy since they just told me to keep it away from my much younger sibs.

Your child reads fic?

Dear god, that is hard.

Wait, what? Wasn't he just nine yesterday?

gawd, and I thought I had it rough compare/contrasting fic tastes with my sister.

Don't read it, no matter how much you want to. It's a violation of his privacy and he won't thank you for it. Besides, it's not anything bad. He's writing! Be thankful he's not doing drugs or driving fast cars (illegally) or getting some girl pregnant. Show him you trust him!

I would give him fair warning. "You might want to update your passwords, the ones you're using aren't secure."

Give him one week and then if he doesn't and you're will power breaks down... well, you warned him.

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