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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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fannish meanderings
Because I'm in a serious orgy of Getting Things Done. This means I may, finally, start working on finishing up linking all my stories to the stylesheet.

Or you know, not. *grins* This is more fun.

So. Still Skin is up on my webpage. And next up is another recs update, since I scoured my bookmarks to start damn well finding this fic instead of just mooning about it all the time when I can't find it.

And by the way? Misery is only remembering single lines and using google to find the story attached. You have *no* idea of the horror I've seen. And I *still* can't find this one QaF one, dammit. *grr*


Fic From Five Fandoms I've Never Belonged To

Harry Potter

Better Than This by Victoria P - Vic's changed since I met her in X-Men. She used to complain that she felt that her work didn't have the right emotional resonance, didn't quite *hit* right. Okay, she was on *crack*, but we love her anyway, because if she ever believed it, she certainly can't now.

I love her Sirius/Remus. Just do. She has a feel for these characters that makes me feel it, too, and I get lost in how she writes them, apart and together. Slow, rich, quiet love-forever, two men who've done everything, been hurt by everything, including themselves. Including each other. But when they're together, those things stop mattering.

Everything really stops mattering but what they can be together. And it's beautiful.

Lustre by Julad - I'm kind of bitter about this one, since, one, it actually made me *get* the entire Draco/Harry Endless Freaking Love of the Ages thing on which what, there are a quarter billion stories? Yeah. I'm trying to remember how I found it--possibly while trolling through Julad's site looking for magically hidden SV stories--shut up, she could be hiding them!--and okay, I read the summary, thought of isilya, and said, hmm. Okay. I can do this.

I pretty much blame this one for the fact I had dreams two nights running of Harry and Draco wandering around naked in an invisiblity cloak trying to get away from classmates who keep trying to take pictures of them while making out every time they thought they found somewhere to hide.

Yep. One of *those* dreams.

But anyway. It's funny, and cute, and I can see this Draco and this Harry. I mean, *really* see this Harry, especially post-OotP, where I finally started liking the little bugger way too much. What makes me like it best is the sheer seamlessness of story to characters in the book--I bought it, hook, line, and sinker.


Half a World Away by Jane St. Clair - Waayy back in the days I wrote nothing but Paris/Torres, tried to get Seven naked a lot, and toyed with the concept of slash, which scared me to bits, I ran across Jane's Sleepers (with Feet), one of the loveliest Paris/Torres stories in history. Katie Redshoes in Trek once said that Jane's stories always seemed to come from a slight angle that you don't entirely expect, and she was right.

It's Scully and it's Krycek, and it's a rescue of a kind and they're really not sure why.

Considering I know nothing of the fandom, only watched the show, take with a grain of salt that I really, really loved Scully like this. Almost but never quite broken, and Mulder there even though he's not, for both of them. And the style is beautiful. I re-read every so often just to wallow in how damned *good* this is.

It could have been canon. Damn well *should* have been canon.

Cruel and Unusual by Jane St. Clair - the differences between Jane and other writers is that she can *change* her characters and still keep them the same. This Scully is a world away from the one above, but the pieces are all still the same--bitter and harder and somehow colder, but still Scully in all the ways that matter. It's another rescue, for another reason, but they don't even know why. It's absolutely gorgeous.

See, this kind of thing, at a formative time in my fandom development, could have seriously led me down the path of Krycek/anyone OTPing.

Iolokus by Mustang Sally and RivkaT


A million years ago, during long hours writing X-Men fic and pondering the Endless Freaking Forbidden Passion of Logan and Rogue with religious fevor, Madelyn sent me their Buffyfic and made me swear on the lives of my unborn stories to read Iolokus one day, and there's a story involved in how I fell into the Buffyfic, but that's for later. Of course, I promptly ignored her, and of course, then everywhere I went, the stupid story kept *popping up*.

I'm contrary, but not stupid. Just really, really slow. A year later, I ran across it by chance (sort of), did a save as on all parts, and set myself to read it, remembering Jane St. Clair fondly.


seemag says this story was one of the ones that scarred her--I can see why. Intense, powerful plotting, massive, rich character arcs, deep love and mistrust and everything that goes along with it, Scully and Mulder just stumble through and keep their heads above water as best they could. I love stories that explore what goes on in Scully's head after all she's been through.

And no one else, living or dead, could possibly, *possibly*, made babyfic so damn sexy.

This is like The Weekend Read, where you hole up with your computer, some coffee, and don't come out until Sunday night, bleary, shocky, and absolutely entranced.


The Traitor, the Witch, and the Lovers by Katie Vieceli - I've seen this on so many rec pages it's unreal--I found it on Kate Bolin's, I think, and it seems to get one of two very intense reactions. I got the one where I closed it down and had really bizarre dreams after, and it followed me around for a bit (read: weeks).

I'm religious enough to read Narnia as a Christian fable and fanfic writer enough to appreciate how beautiful it is to fuck up canon. Katie doesn't lose any of the religious overtones--they're what raise the story from just fanfic to something that approaches art. It's cruel and disturbing and mercilessly dark and bizarrely hopeful.

Though even to myself, I can't explain *where* the feeling of hope comes from.

"It's cold here..." he said slowly. "It's dark."

"Oh, love, my poor little fool, it's always dark when your heart is black. Always cold when your soul is gone."

Another *really* good example of what AU fic is all about.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

The Bowiehabarata by MustangSally and RivkaT


This has a funny story attached. I'll tell it again, because it amuses me.

Back in the Olden Days of Yore, when I was writing het and was singularly Fandom Monogamous, there was this Person (madelyn) who decided I needed to be expanded in my reading tastes.

M: You have to read this!

J: *bored* What?

M: Buffyfic!

J: I don't read Buffyfic.

M: You'll read this one.

J: No I won't.

M: Here's a link.

J: I'm so not clicking on that.

M: Yes you will.

J: I'm ignoring it *right now*.

M: You're a dork.

J: Write me something?

Okay, so I didn't say it was witty.

So. I drag myself out of bed one Saturday morning, go to my email, and wow, this one email took a *long* time. And longer. An ice age passed, a few universes collapsed, and lo and behold, I looked at the email addy and thought, oh damn.

Because the girl *SENT* me The Heart's Filthy Lesson.

There are maybe three surefire ways to get my undivided attention. Clogging up my email is one of them. I opened it up, because that's what you *do* with email, and said, I'm not reading this.

Late Saturday night, I got on AIM.

J: I hate you.

M: You liked it?

J: I *hate* you.

M: I like chocolate as thanks.

I pretty much blame this for the fact I cried my eyes out on AIM with Madelyn after watching The Gift.

Spike and Buffy never appealed to me. Ever. In any universe under the sun. I mean, it was like the anti-appeal, because I started Buffy/Angel and when I OTP, I never *stop*.

But you know, you can totally double OTP. Yes, you can. TTP. And that looks bad.

Anyway, to explain why I love the story.

It's Spike, the way he was on the show (they anticipated a lot of canon with disturbing accuracy) and the way he could be. They do plot like no one's business, it blows my mind how *well* they do plot, and it's rich and textured and there's so *damn much*. Another All Weekend Read, but this time, take extra supplies.

It's beautiful and I re-read all four whenever possible. Though Serious Moonlight, like Historical Fiction but completley not, just takes my breath away. It's romance without being Romance.

X-Men, comicverse

Throw My Head Away by Alestar - Te recced the work and where Te goes, I tend to follow, because that's what I *do*, and man, she was right. I love Bobby here--confused and fighting it hard and still kind of confused but maybe not quite so much.

Fic From Two Fandoms I Do


Best Seats by Tammy - will do summary after below.

[*edited from here -- TAKE TWO....]

Healing Hands by Severina - Awww. Baseball! Nothing says, let's have a flashback like taking Justin to the ballpark. And you'd *think* Debbie'd guess this. But that's later. First, there's Brian, who is way too hot to be here and considers this fact often, and Justin, who is just scarily adorable. And how image isn't everything anymore. It's sweet and fun. I likes.

[*...to here, 2:50 PM, thanks to wrenlet, who is wonderful. See comment by same.]

Name Your Wish by JustVisiting - okay, in several ways, this didn't work for me for the first three reads, then it did, but not the ending, and then it worked completely and I was okay. I love this version of season two, where everyone started remembering to *think* and Justin doesn't let his spine melt into the floor.

Because this--*this*--is logical. And this is good. And this is what I wish had happened.

Minutia by Rube - it's little things all around them. The style's almost dreamy, and you can feel Brian in every word. And I really hope I got the author's name right, because damned if I could actually find it on the page. But love it, yes. It's all these little things that make the big things seem less important.

Star Trek Voyager

Sleepers (With Feet) by Jane St. Clair - speaking as someone who hasn't even glanced at her former fandom seriously for so very long, this one I still re-read when I need the reminder of why I loved this pairing. There's a dark kind of sweetness in it, all hidden in dusty corners of the ship where they play, and why they're in love with each other isn't important, because they simply are. It's quiet, and sweet, and it aches beautifully.

I feel oh so productive today. *happy sigh*


julad is having a bad effect on me.

I'm just being myself, chatting, thinking nothing in particular. No, really. Nothing. And trying to make Justin get up out of bed when he's all hurty, and God, he's a whiney brat sometimes, but then somehow, we're talking about *Michael*. And *Brian*. And somehow, those two separate sentences became one scary, scary sentence of doom. Scary, scary, scary sentence of doom.

Sentence of Doom.


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Isn't Vic's R/S just addictive? And I adore Lustre. There are those who argue it is completely OOC, and I think they might have a point, at least in Draco's case. Still, I'm not going to feel guilty about wishing he were like the character in the story, because that's a character who's not just three-dimensional, but who evokes an entire freakin' three-dimensional culture and society which, much as I love the books, is one of the huge ol' world-building holes about which I am bitter.


So, yes, what you said.

I notice my sQ, AoS, and BDS stories have never made it into the reccing of fandoms to which you do not belong. Never mind that you need to have some familiarity with the source material to do a rec; clearly, this means you don't love me anymore.

::throws self off picturesque bridge after leaving eloquent and heartwrenching note letting everyone know early demise is ALL YOUR FAULT::

I"m getting there!

Though source material *is* nice. *grins*

*hugs Rana* I love you forever and ever and *ever* and *ever*. And ever. Like, almost eternally, except I'm *really* commitment phobic.

I really like that year and a day thing....

I can get you source material. *she said sneakily*

I'm such a fannish pirate, but it's not like they'll ever release sQ officially.

Actually, you should be able to rent Boondock Saints at your local vidstore. And if you like guns? You'll like thise movie.

*hugs Jenn* I know you love me. I love you, too. I was just teasing. Really.

Which is not to say that I wouldn't squeal with joy and do a happy sexy dance for you if you did rec my stuff, because let's face it, I like being read and recced. I'm kinda pathetic that way.

And I really like this year and a day thing, because it means I could have LJ wives without having to give up my place as the Evil Seductress. Hmm, this plan has merit....

Best Seats by Tammy - Awww. Baseball! Nothing says, let's have a flashback like taking Justin to the ballpark. And you'd *think* Debbie'd guess this. But that's later. First, there's Brian, who is way too hot to be here and considers this fact often, and Justin, who is just scarily adorable. And how image isn't everything anymore. It's sweet and fun. I likes.

Uh, maybe I misinterpreted your summary, but that link took me to a ficlet where no baseball, ballpark, or flashback cameos were to be found, leaving me thoroughly disappointed ('cause I'm just that pathetic and desperate for some B/J lovin'/rememberin').

So, if this is some big metaphorical mix-up with 'ballpark' standing in for 'movie premiere,' could you please clue me in, otherwise I'd really appreciate the link to the non-metaphorical baseball!B/J! ;)

I'mma take a wild guess and say she meant to link Healing Hands, by Severina. 'Cause even if she didn't, you should go read it. Everyone should :)

Oh wrenlet I love you love you love you!

Love you!

Love you!

*blissed out*

Heehee! Does that mean I got it right, or that you have more new fic to read? :)


Yay, baseball!B/J fic! I absolutely *adored* Healing Hands; thank you so much for providing the link. ;)

Crap. *cries* Pasted wrong one. Now I have to *find* it again.

*hating google*

Though I think I liked this one, too.

Give me an hour to see where I found it. I want to say it was off an ATP link, but I'm not sure now.



Finding lost QaF fic

What line is it that you remember? Perhaps others have read it?

Re: Finding lost QaF fic

Justin POV. Something like, you don't choose who you love, you only really hope you can deal with all the stuff you don't like about them. And that is a serious, serious, serious paraphrase of something that sounded a *lot* better and more meaningful and such.

*sulky* It's like the special hell. I know I read it between July fifteen and August fifteeth, but I read through the entire ATP Justin/Brian during that period of time, along with associated links, so no help there.

Find it for me? *hopeful*

Re: Finding lost QaF fic

Mm...doesn't ring any bells for me, offhand. soundczech may have heard of it. I have yet to find a QaF fic that she hasn't already read before me.

Iolokus by Mustang Sally and RivkaT

First fanfic I ever read which I followed with "Oklahoma" by Amperage and Livengoo. Both blew my mind, but got me out of bed and sitting upright during a time that when that seemed impossible. They also taught me that I liked Mulder!Torture, which was a useful bit of insight. Later, Mustang Sally and Rivka T's Bowiehabarata made S/B okay for me (and it doesn't hurt that Angel shows up in "Changes") and helped me make the transition from TXF - where I knew where to find good fic - to Buffy, where I was was being scarred at ffnet.

Not unlike my initial experiences in QaF...

So, please be careful with Justin and I have been haunting your QaF recs page since the last update cause - um... it's a lot safer to start there than at bjfic.net. (or whatever it is called. I'm still high on cold medicine). Between you and viola69 I can be in the rec's and distracted. Of course, this only marginally takes my mind off James and poor Justin's bruises and then Rachel Anton went and sent Justin to prison and...well I'm a little bit scary right now. Bring Brian home soon, 'kay? If you can. I'm just gonna go wait over there *points*

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