The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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i also once read a lot of solitaire porn on a dare
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
Okay, granted, I have been conning and now am family vacationing in the Gulf region (where the water is very warm and the grass just too disturbingly green when one can see teh ocean like, fifty feet away), but...

Another Doomed Attempt to Monetize Fanfic aka Person Buys Pooh (yes, as in Winnie the), Twilight, and LOTR fanfiction archives and like, I feel someone, somewhere cut me out of the Fandom Psychic Network of Hysterical Laughter. Which hey, who did that again?

This is a very serious, totally serious issue, but I keep getting stuck at that particular combination of fandoms because you have to know he does not look upon this and see the hilarity, which is sad because look at that combination. I mean, I was trying to come up with a more unlikely set of fandoms to start Fandom Is My Profit Quest and I'm just failing utterly. I mean, Hetalia, Rainbow Brite, and Minesweeper have the right WTF but not the sheer, unearthly, almost surrealist beauty of sparkling vampires living next door to large-footed hobbits and staring in bewilderment at the rise of Mordor in the distance while Pooh wanders by looking for his honey (and possibly being eaten by vampires, which now is upsetting me; Tigger will fuck their shit up for even trying and I don't know about anyone else, but Piglet's sociopathy isn't what I'd call well-concealed).

I'm not comfortable that is actually a working plot, for the record.

It's kind of annoying we seem to be getting the bargain priced entrepreneurs who lack some fundamental steps in My Business Plan Let Me Show You It, but it's also just grating that when approaching the strange, savage society of fanficsters with their simple ways and strange, exotic, foreign customs, who have been waiting with bated breath for someone to show us the magic of capitalistic enterprise and so forth, the literacy quotient here is so tragically low. Also, the ability to use the magic of google and possibly, the sense required to breathe.

See, I grew up reading Pooh and LOTR and I have in fact slogged through Twilight and the fourth book that made it all so very worth every moment, but I can't assume the person in question read them because again, look at that combination for a fandom enterprise. I felt the natural order of fandom shiver a little, but also, much worse, someone right now is writing a crossover for this, and that shit I don't forgive.

There's also how very, very cross the Tolkien estate gets about things. Like, IDK, Using a Fictionalized Version of Tolkien The Person In a Historical Fiction Book That Does Not Involve Any of Tolkien's Fiction (No, This Is Not Tolkien/Hobbit Porn and More's The Pity For Sheer Why Not-ness), so going out on a limb, it may be possible screaming I WILL MAKE MONEY FROM LOTR FANFIC at the top of your lungs is a course of action which probably will lead to a room with free coffee and a lot of people in suits the price of the average yacht whose first language is Legalese, both spoken and written.

I've heard Disney may be a bit odd about that sort of thing as well; could be wrong. Can't say I am following along with what the Twilight franchise has as policy; I bet google might help.

I'm also guessing they missed the concept of RPS? What a fascinating introduction this will be. I think on page two.

Two people below teh age of fully comprehending verbal communication just found me on my secret balcony to stare at me meaningfully. I'm pretty sure from their expressions they, too, disapprove of this unnatural combination, though I'm still sketchy on how they got through a locked door. I think they may be a bit too young, however, to fully appreciate the horror of Piglet/Edward, though. Maybe when they're four.

Elf's Links I'm still glutting myself on. Sometimes the best things in life really are free.

Posted at Dreamwidth: http://seperis.dreamwidth.org/90585.html. | You can reply here or there. | comments

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The language and buzzwords in fan fiction is also quite impregnable to the newcomer (slash, canon, and other words had me a bit thrown to begin with).

Somehow I don't think it's the buzzwords that are this guy's biggest problems... omg I could spend hours reading those links bwahaha. must stop. Okay and thinking about it, lotr actually has waaaaay crazy stuff. Like, HP fandom's got nothing on it. Do you think he's read any orc/hobbit torture porn yet? Dude there are balrogs and sauron and even the elves up to all kinds of horrible stuff all the time in that fandom. There's also disproportionate amounts of incest (and I'm not just talking siblings) and orgies.

Clearly the man's never taken an English Lit class or read any Tolkien whatsoever if he's confused about what canon means in this context.

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