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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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Underworld -- the neverending movie, and also, musings on fandom hopping
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
Well, it was very long for a movie about shooting. And also, vampires. Or so it seemed to try to get across.



It's not the worst movie in history. I dont' know what is, but this isn't. That does not mean it's not the worst movie I've seen in a theatre in my life, just that I'm sure there are B movies that are worse that I haven't seen.

But why dwell on shortcomings of actings, plot, and script, when I can skip to the stuff that made me happy?

1.) Gunfighting in the sewers - beautiful. Everyone in black leather packing and shooting at each other. Everyone was pretty. Lots of that thing where people walk powerfully around and part ways for the Powerful Guy, who kills werewolves with his bare hands and a sword. Lots of long, long, long scenes of fighting. And everyone was pretty when they did it. Think vampire mafia, with those great long coats and rifles. And pretty. My God, they are all pretty.

2.) They never bothered with the sun appearing. Never once. I like this entire denial of the existence of daylight thing. Just big, dark buildings and rain and people wearing black killing each other for no good reason.

3.) Selene is hot. I would seriously consider throwing out this entire heterosexuality thing to sleep with her. Also, I'd like her to bring her weapons to bed.

4.) Did I mention all the shooting in dark, gothicy underground places? Because they do this a LOT and trust me, you'll find yourself living for these moments.

5.) If you can overlook that the blond guy played on Felicity and focus on how *good* he looks wet and depressed, you're good to go. Also, I have no idea why he turns green yet. He also gets tied up a lot. All of this is very close to my heart.

6.) There's a plot. You'll be happier just trying to ignore it, and instead, go for popcorn, because frankly, it makes no sense and was stuffed into way too small a period of time. These pauses in the fighting are timed just right for bathroom breaks as well.

7.) The bullets were *great*. I mean, really. I want to take this movie apart and grab xoverau and anyone else with even the vaguest interest in vampire mythology and make them *rewrite* this thing to make it comprehensible, just on the strength of those damn cool bullets.

Hmm. I may be being too hard on it, but I doubt it.

I did enjoy the scenery. I'm very, very tired of Matrix-esqueness special effects being overused when unnecessary, and CGI is overrated. But this has given me some great inspiration for new boots, because I love Selene's boots. And again, the sheer joy of watching all the shooting makes up for a LOT.

Interesting Previews: Gothika. It has Robert Downey Jr, who is, well, hot, and also, another one of those Spooky Wet Females, adult this time, to scare teh crap out of you by standing in the middle of the street and being a massive plot device. It also involves an insane asylum. This movie speaks to me. Okay, RDJ speaks to me. Okay, when I'm asleep, but that counts. I'm adding that to the Dollar Cinema list.



The night pretty much sucked all the energy I had out of me, and I have to go back to work tomorrow, which is Not Cheering. Dammit. Also, I have to do laundry.

Recs

Crying at Three in the Morning by josselin - Awww. Linday and Brian and babies! But not like *that*, but--yeah. Sweetness.

Fandom Hunting

Because I have found it is so much *easier* to find fic when one knows where the messageboards are. Which is a new experience in itself, and possibly one that will be good for me in a well-rounded fannish slut sort of way.



For my own reference, I'm putting these all here to remind me to add them to my LJ sidebar at some point in the future, because let's face it, apparently, I'm not going to be getting away from it anytime soon. Not as long as Brian is pretty, and Jesus, is he pretty. Naked.

QaF Fanfiction Discussion Forum.

QaF Refugee Board

What Love Means: Story Analysis and Critiques of QAF Fan Fiction

Across the Pond

BJfic and can anyone tell me if I'm getting the URL wrong or if it really is still down?

QaF US archive, first season, no longer updated.

Have I missed anything?

I'm not adding personal pages here--I have this insane idea I'm going to go to my webpage and do the first major link/rec update in almost a year, covering SV and QaF. And it looks like QaF will get its own page now, because well, 'other' just isn't going to work forever. Though maybe How It's Gonna Be will burn it out. Well, no, Brian is pretty. That counts for too much.

Anyway.

Okay, so I have this mild--major--social anxiety about messageboards. Possibly because I'm just dumb, but also, because I entered Fandom (in general) on the usenet and mailing list, so I never had any active exposure to them as a hub of fannish interest (exception: jengrrrl"s Roswell fic all on messageboard, because I love her and I loved her Rosewell, despite the fact I'd seen oh, five episodes. Her and Elizabeth. Fannish crack). Also, because I still haven't adapted to figuring out how to follow conversation threads--TWoP I read occasionally, but again, adaptation. Then of course, there's LJ, which is like mildly schizophrenic anarchy in following along with anything, which really is an argument for LJ being more cult of personality than personal webpages could ever be. And one day, I have to track down whoever wrote that long LJ entry about fandom shifting again from fandom-centered to author-centered, because I skimmed it and thought I saved it and then didn't. Grrr.

Later on that. It's boring jenn-thinking crap.

But the other thing I realized whilst searching about--I have NO idea how to go into a new fandom that isn't introduced to me by LJ itself--think Firefly and Fastlane and OC and Everwood, which damn, wouldn't it have been so much easier to fall for one of those? Gerk.

No, seriously. Again, usenet to mailinglists to diaryland to LJ--I'm almost a cliche of the net fannish experience, sort of. And I'm used to doing it in a very, very controlled way--lowering toes into the main mailing lists and staring at them in terror for a week or two, reading everything in sight, freaking myself out when I see people I knew a fandom or two ago and trying to remember if I ever pissed them off or if they pissed me off ("Hey, didn't we flame each other a couple of years ago in that blowout about underrrepresented het on usenet and I called you misogynistic bitch? How's it going?" That hasn't happened yet. Considering I've just completed my fourth year of fandom, I'm guessing it's only a matter of time, though. Tracking down the main archives and figuring out how they work. Googling during desperate moments. I have a *pattern* dammit.

And of course, spending quality time in SV (two years, and I'm still blank on how this has happened), I have *no idea* how to even approach a fandom that doesn't in some way involve LJ. I've been off the mailinglists too long--everything social and fannish for me comes back to LJ. Which can't be unique at all, but it still feels strange.

It's the one-stop-shopping thing. I love the mall, I love SuperWal-Mart, and I love LJ for making my life easier. Consumerfannishslut. Bifictionally polyfannish.

I love fannish vocabulary, don't you?



Reality TV Scares Me

Because it's not a real LJ entry unless I can cry about the state of television today. Because I can, dammit.

Sidenote: after reading everyone's comments on Carnivale, I asked Nezsa to tape me the show. And let's face it, besides Tru Calling, it's not like I have a lot of options here for watchable TV. Is cable going through some kind of mid-life crisis or are they going to start bringing new shows out? QaF only has one more season, Six Feet Under is gone, Farscape is depressingly missing, and someone said The Sopranos were hanging up their guns, which is scaring me badly. That leaves Dead Like Me and Carnivale. Did I miss something? Okay, obviously, but what was it?



rivkat was pointing out one of her squick buttons was public humiliation a while back. I have this issue with a lot of Reality TV--I just don't get off on watching people embarass themselves, and if they aren't doing it deliberately, I literally want to hide and be embarassed for them. This show is like Humiliation Crack, and I want to hide and I haven't even done anything but read the cap of it in EW.

I'm still trying to figure out where I got all these issues of EW, btw. Like they fell from the sky or something. Or my sister. Either/or.

Cap from EW, page 71, issue #726:

It's not funny to put someone on national television with the sole purpose of exposing him as a doofus. Well, what the hell am I talking about -- of course it is. The Joe Schmo in question here is Matt Kennedy Gould who thinks he's playinf or $100,000 on a reality show called Lap of Luxury. The thing is, the other eight contestants are actually actors, and every scenario is in fact rigged. [...]

Whoa. Like, squick-central. I mean, no offense to anyone who loves this sort of thing. But--squick. I'm embarassed for him and haven't even watched the show.

And to think how much I hated Joe Millionaire and For Love or Money....both of which I could actually feel hives break out, or that one based in Alaska with dowries involved that made me wonder at what point producers became pimps....



Okay, I need to cleanse my mind. Or eat something. I'm out of Hershey's Hugs, dammit.


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Reality TV embarasses me so much too. I thought I was the only one. I hate watching other people in awkward situations. For instance, I have a hard time watching first-season Justin, because he is so foolish, so often. It makes me cringe, which hurts my face.

I think shows that lie to the contestants are awful. The basis of the show is duplicity, but since it's a phenomenon and everyone is functioning on mob psychology, it somehow doesn't seem so terrible. But if you stop and think, it really is.

Crying at Three in the Morning was adorable. I love how Brian talks to Sarah. He is such a softie at heart. And also, Jesus Christ Savior of the Earth.

I have no chocolate. I want chocolate. Will now stop spamming your journal and resume writing my paper. Really.

Reality TV embarasses me so much too. I thought I was the only one. I hate watching other people in awkward situations.

God, yes. And yes.

For instance, I have a hard time watching first-season Justin, because he is so foolish, so often. It makes me cringe, which hurts my face.

Episodes two and three. I just want to take him home and give him valium so he'll think the entire experience was a dream or something. Oh yes.

Though I have to admit, with him, there's this kind of terrifying fascination with someone who just *drives right through* silly pride and dignity for the sake of whatever he can get and just *keeps going*. Jesus, I honestly think I love him for that really terrifying amount of focus he has. Like, the word 'hopeless' just doens't ever appear in his vocabulary. Or, well, 'stop'.

I think shows that lie to the contestants are awful. The basis of the show is duplicity, but since it's a phenomenon and everyone is functioning on mob psychology, it somehow doesn't seem so terrible. But if you stop and think, it really is.

*nod* Yes. And that other really really REALLY freaksome one with scaring people to death for a joke. I saw the previews and literally flipped the channel when I realized what I was seeing. No, no, no. Can *not* deal with that.

I have no chocolate. I want chocolate. Will now stop spamming your journal and resume writing my paper. Really.

I had a list of things to accomplish today. So far, I've read through my entire friendslist twice. Now I'm going back to comment. My excuse is, I am making myself part of the community collective, which is important. I'm not sure why yet, but I'm sure a reason will come to me. A *good* one.

Instead of writing this paper which is due on Monday, I've literally been reloading my friends pages (and my friends' friends pages) since Friday afternoon. The internet is a black hole of procrastination.

Though I have to admit, with him, there's this kind of terrifying fascination with someone who just *drives right through* silly pride and dignity for the sake of whatever he can get and just *keeps going*. Jesus, I honestly think I love him for that really terrifying amount of focus he has. Like, the word 'hopeless' just doens't ever appear in his vocabulary. Or, well, 'stop'.

That's what so amazing about Justin. When he wants something, the idea of giving up doesn't even enter into it. That's really the only reason I can tolerate watching it, because I know he knows he's acting like a fool, but he doesn't care.

But episodes one and two made me cover my eyes, and the episode where Brian's loft is burglarized gave me a rash. Why, oh why, does Justin do these things?

I think that's why I've loved season three so much. He's the same Justin, but beautifully subtle. Certainly there was something charming about his bluntness in season one, but when he focuses that energy in a more manipulative way, he's mesmerizing. He beats Brian at his own game.

I can't wait for season four. I want more of this Justin. Except I'm a little worried that CowLip and the Writers are going to ruin it, as they have such a propensity for doing...


*nod* Yes. And that other really really REALLY freaksome one with scaring people to death for a joke. I saw the previews and literally flipped the channel when I realized what I was seeing. No, no, no. Can *not* deal with that.

Hear, hear! What if someone had a heart attack! Would they just keep filming and show that too??

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