Seperis (seperis) wrote,

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i may die with this image in my head

So in a bout of truly useless self-improvement, I sat grimly down at my computer and decided it was about time to break my aversion to visual porn. Of all the things in my life that need improvement, I honestly dont' think this actually qualifies, but in certain circles, it is theorized that society conditions women against visual representations of sex (and also, most porn is hideous aesthetically), so if anyone asks, I'm totally doing this for greater freedom from the patriarchy.

But again, most porn is, for me, really hideous and weird and there's a really questionable amount of semen involved that seems to get everywhere, and you may not know this, but that sort of thing bothers me, because I worry they have some kind of ball-related overproduction disease and porn is how they're paying for medical treatment.

...yes, I almost wrote porn possibly-rps/fanfic and I do hate myself just a little. But not that much.

So I reviewed all my sex-watching related experience--in media, thank you--and decided to start off with something that didn't require pausing for me to get over my hideous embarrassment, and something familiar enough that I've read porn about and so could deal with the reality. Then I thought, oh right, Gravitation Remixes, that'll work! Neat pages, all stills, I know the storyline and oh, look at all those pairings! And threesomes, foursomes and possibly a fivesome there.


NSFW observations below. Possibly more so than any porn I have ever written, tbh.

Okay, while I know I didn't actually ask any of you for recommendations, I feel enough of you know me to have sensed through the Fangirl Force that this would happen and maybe warned me about what I was getting into. Okay, so apparently the semen thing is like, necessary and amazing how you can convey everyone dripping with it in black and white--I'm very impressed. That's fine. The dialogue--okay, I have an actual thing for the porny dialogue that I'm not even ashamed of (much) anymore, and also, not like they both weren't in character! Because that really matters.

I think--maybe--this went all wrong when blankly staring at the small but intensely detailed internal anus-eye view of proceedings in all it's many states of empty, not empty, what the fuck is in there now? and then the part where far too many things were in there and you could see them all--imagine, if you will, a tiny bobbing string of anal balls--and by tiny, I mean, quite large when they weren't residing in the physics-defying confines of Shuichi's ass--drowning in a vast, vast ocean of semen before a penis also took up residence and I had to stop and go back two pages because the balls were quite large and Shuichi isn't, though I guess now some kegel exercises for men might not go amiss.

The thing is, I've seen hentai and related on Redtube due to bet-losing and [personal profile] svmadelyn being a monster and everything, but somehow, being a single still drawing--or a series of them--seem kind of more--something. Like, now I have time to sit there and stare for a long, long time before I remember how my fingers work. Like, maybe I'm going about this from the wrong angle, and maybe I shouldn't have single large multiple panels to stare at and absorb when if they were all moving, maybe I wouldn't have time to go "Oh my God he's going to split open" and then continue to read all thirteen volumes afterward.

Other than the ass-camera part, though, we have achieved success. I only broke into hysterical laughter twice (eight times) and I suspect once the entire ass-view thing is removed from my brain via bleach, the rest is pretty hot.

I am on a journey, people. This is but one small step.

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Tags: crosspost, fandom
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