?

Log in

No account? Create an account

The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


Previous Entry Share Next Entry
so this is what my saturdays look like these days
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
Sherlock the laptop now has an arrival date of 9/15 and let me say thank God. I found my old laptop cooler that is broken and am currently using that since I can't get Adam the laptop below 85C without it and have a running burn on my inner calf at this point. I also ordered a new laptop cooler since the XPS 16 apparently runs hot on its own, which is not a surprise when I look at the specs and then the processor.

This irritates me. I'm not an engineer, I just like to put things together and take them apart, and I cannot imagine how people who can get us to the moon are still not able to work laptop design to be cooler. And it is a design problem, not a hardware problem, and surely after all this time, someone should have worked out a way to marry form and function to not-burning. Which I think is a dual problem in that a.) a laptop despite the name is not supposed to sit on your lap and b.) no matter how many times it's fairly clear that's what people do with it, designers don't seem to want to let go of that. Yes, we have it on our lap. Yes, that does interfere with cooling fans. Hey, idea: find a way to move the fans or how it cools. This is in fact rocket science; that's why you have a fucking doctorate in Useful Engineering Shit. Get on that.

Of course, I'm still boggling that laptop coolers are constantly having powercord breakage. I'm beginning to think that building my own is a viable idea, just so I can design the damn thing for hey, the fact it sits on my lap.

In other news, TMI of the sex toy variety; yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why there's a cut.



At some point, I had thought adulthood would finally slough off my intense urge to giggle insanely while surfing through websites and staring in wonder at all the ways we have found to improve upon our cavewoman ancestors patiently wittling down a branch because the cavemen were too busy measuring their cocks against giant sloths or whatever they did when they hunted or we just didn't find their spear-carrying selves all that hot. That was a very long sentence, but I'm nearly hoarse after reading descriptions of all the egg-like appliances and their various functions.

Or mostly, it's the reviews. This line of thought, by the way, from an email convo with [personal profile] aivilo_18, who probably now wishes she wasn't my most consistent email correspondent because she keeps me awake at work a lot and is awesome.

The thing is, most reviews aren't very useful because they are intensely subjective. "This was so hot I came three times" doesn't really help me all that much; "OMG MULTIPLE YAY" and a long, dry technical description of events, no. These people need to be thrown at nifty.com, and I can't believe I'm saying this, because purple prose and unfortunate comparisons aside, we need an objective standard to judge just how Item X is going to get us going.

Observe:

When talking about how the seven function vibrator works for them, people will say "Oh, it was so powerful and I came three times omg" which hello, that helps not at all. Instead, an objective comparison chart would help.

Egg of Joy Was:

a.) like driving down a quiet street at night with no traffic in a well-off suburban gated community.
b.) a country road in Kentucky with bad transmission.
c.) the wooden roller coaster at Six Flags Fiesta, San Antonio.
d.) there was pelvic bruising.

Lube of Tingling Was:

a.) less interesting than baking soda toothpaste.
b.) Trident spearmint gum.
c.) there might have been visible sparks.
d.) how do you feel about open flames?

Say what you like about asstr.org, nifty.org, and mcstories.com and inappropriate comparisons, they go for the gold--that trunk-like cock was like taking a tree without the splinters, and that's useful. I mean, terrifying, but if it was a sex toy review, I'd know that Vibrator Like a California Hardwood really did live up to the name. As porn, it makes me want to declare celibacy, however.

Biological sexual response combined with subjective sexual arousal are so subjective it's hard to get it right, but I'd like to introduce a standard someday. Like the MPAA, but the STAA (for Sex Toys) but better, with a rating, a comparison chart, a set of standards, and an objective basis to start with. Bells and whistles and pearl beads and things that hum are all well and good, but what you really want to know is is this going to be more stimulating than a nap.

I'm also somewhat annoyed by how the directions and descriptions sometimes completely mislead one; a friend (who shall be nameless) finally put the Hitachi in terms I could comprehend, because until then, everything I read made it sound a great deal like a.) something that might accidentally rupture something important or b.) electrocute me. I blame everything for all that lost time.

Also, Hitachi will never not be awesome. Just saying.



Hey, because I like keeping a reference list of these things. If you want to recommend, please do. If you have comments on other people's recommendations, do so! Updating as people add suggestions.



Drugstore.com
Recommended by [personal profile] seperis/seperis
all your basics at very reasonable prices! And Hitachi and its attachments are there.


Babes in Toyland

Recommended by lillethedreamer
But www.babeland.com is the best thing ever, especially in terms of description. My personal favorite, when discussing vibration settings, is one customer basing it on a scale of 'mildly ticklish' to 'burn your clit off'.

Best of all? Videos of staff members talking about the various toys. I mean, I still collapse in hysterical laughter but should I need the information literally spelled out for me by a human being, IT'S THERE. IN AGONIZING AND DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE REAL PEOPLE GIVING ADVICE.


Good Vibes

Recommended by crabbylioness
goodvibes.com used to have scale systems for both power and noise level. I haven't shopped there since they stopped taking checks, so IDK if they still have it.


Blowfish
Recommended by maleficently
I personally use http://www.blowfish.com/ - They have actual reviewers they employ for the site, buying guides, and a good splash of humor to go along with the fact that you are, indeed, shopping for sex toys and that's okay. They also have a very wide selection and really good customer service.


Early to Bed
Recommended by daydreamer
early to bed is fantastic: tons of info, videos, a blog, discreet packaging, and it's extremely female/queer/n00b-friendly. Their youtube channel is here.


Good For Her
Recommended by [personal profile] aivilo_18/aivilo_18
If you haven't tried it, Good for Her is awesome. Along with many other things that are amazing and brilliant, they host the Feminist Porn Awards, which celebrates porn that is made for and by women and focuses on representing female and male sexuality in ways that aren't completely cliched and derogatory towards women and minorities.


A Woman's Touch
Recommended by belleweather
I may be biased because it was my local store for a long time, and allows you to actually touch the vibes they sell if you're at a brick-and-mortar outlet, which I LOVE and totally revolutionized the way I buy toys. But their online descriptions really rock too, and their lube comparison chart is awesome.


Tantus Inc
Recommended by [personal profile] strina
Okay, I only found them because someone mentioned they were selling Edward Cullen's penis, but other than that, they're pretty awesome. They're a green manufacturor, give great customer service, and the reviews are more helful than not (except on the aforementiond Vamp).


Eden Fantasies
Recommended by [personal profile] bikitchi
I'm a huge fan of edenfantasys.com It's got a sleek layout and pretty decent UI design.

Lots of sex toy safety but it's def a mainstream/vanilla site with some decent entry-kink stuff but I base this not on full research but just taking a look at their handcuffs. XD


Come As You Are
Recommended by [personal profile] waketosleep
As a Canadian who likes Canadian buying options, I've used Come As You Are a couple times (online ordering; they have a storefront in Toronto) and liked them a lot. They appear to sell good quality toys, including some Canadian-manufactured stuff, their shipping is prompt and discreet, and I've caught good sales through them.


Posted at Dreamwidth: http://seperis.dreamwidth.org/45905.html. | You can reply here or there. | comment count unavailable comments

  • 1
(Deleted comment)
Ooh, I do like detail. And yes, a good scale system would be nice.

Hmm. I should put a list of recommended places to shop.

goodvibes.com used to have scale systems for both power and noise level. I haven't shopped there since they stopped taking checks, so IDK if they still have it.

Ooh, I like that. Adding to the recommendation list!

I second the Good Vibes rec; they still rate based on power and noise, btw. They also are committed to "green and sustainable" toys, which helps the eco-conscious shopper have sustainable orgasms. One of my favorite things about them is their implicit acknowledgement that hey, everybody has to buy their first sex toy sometime, and rate things for beginners--let's say you aren't ready yet for California Hardwood or "burn your clit off", they're happy to direct you to something more your speed and hardness. They also have a selection of truly beautiful hand-crafted glass dildos, which I would buy solely for their artistic value if I weren't quite so poor.

I personally use http://www.blowfish.com/ - They have actual reviewers they employ for the site, buying guides, and a good splash of humor to go along with the fact that you are, indeed, shopping for sex toys and that's okay. They also have a very wide selection and really good customer service.

Excellent! Adding to the list! Thank you!

I second this! Blowfish is my absolute favorite site for toy shopping; I get their weekly update and http://www.fishnetmag.com is their online erotica zine. I've thought about submitting to them before but haven' gotten around to it.

Whenever I see a toy elsewhere I go back to Blowfish to check it out.

I adore blowfish's humor; the section for suction cup toys used to have the subtitle "Stick it somewhere and... go fuck yourself". XD

early to bed is fantastic: tons of info, videos, a blog, discreet packaging, and it's extremely female/queer/n00b-friendly. Their youtube channel is here.

Oh, good one, thank you! Adding to the list!

If you haven't tried it yet, Good for Her is awesome and hosts the Feminist Porn Awards, which celebrates porn that is made for and by women and focuses on representing female and male sexuality in ways that aren't completely cliched and derogatory towards women and minorities.

I have not and now I am exploring it! Thank you! Added to the list.

A Woman's Touch at www.a-womans-touch.com

I may be biased because it was my local store for a long time, and allows you to actually touch the vibes they sell if you're at a brick-and-mortar outlet, which I LOVE and totally revolutionized the way I buy toys. But their online descriptions really rock too, and their lube comparison chart is awesome.

I second the Blowfish rec, and I've been greatly amused of late by their Twitter.

Ahahahaha, I think I love this post. :D

c.) the wooden roller coaster at Six Flags Fiesta, San Antonio.

Now that would be kind of appealing for people who really like bumpy roller coasters!!

P.S.: I imagine the technology is definitely possible for making laptops with cooling not involving fans and vents, but the issue is probably cost. Sadness. D: One day, it'll be cheaper!!

Oh, I bet it would, but considering how much I pay out for laptop coolers and replacemtn parts? I mean, seriously. To get decent cooling, I'd totally pay extra. You'd think at least high end laptops would implement something else.

True true, and I agree!! I think my last laptop's death was caused by overheating. :(

Adam peaked at 94C yesterday and the cooler plug has to be twisted to work. I ordered a zalman cooler from amazon because apparently the xps naturally runs hot anyway, which with a quad isn't a total surprise or anything. But still.

I just wish I could have waited until the usb 3.0 standarizes. *sighs*

Egads, poor Adam. You should rub him down with ice. :x

...joking aside, I understand your pain. *pet pet*

*g* I was tempted.

When I get Sherlock, I'll open him up and reclean everything and price a new fan if it's still doing this. There are some other options for internal cooling, but most of them are beyond my experience level and I don't have anyone here I know well enough to ask. *sighs*

Also, just made an entry--I don't know if this is your area of expertise, but see if you have any advice?

I don't really know what else would be a good option, I'm afraid. Ice is sounding like a better idea by the minute...

Re: new entry: It's not really my area of expertise, but I will hop over there and offer a wee bit of advice!!

Seconding A Woman's Touch, it is my local adult toy store and they rock. Sex positive and women friendly store, ftw!

Plus, sometimes they have large, friendly dogs in the store :)

Thank you for the post! I used to live near (and rely on) the above-recced Good For Her.

Now that I'm moving (to a new country, no less) I'll bookmark this entry and refer back while I try to find another great local store.

Ha, a rating system is a brilliant idea. I'm reading Mary's Roach's Bonk right now (so much fun!), and I can so picture the research project one would have to undertake to come up with an applicable rating scale.
As for recs, Smitten Kitten is great; they're queer-friendly, eco-friendly (they're starting the site badvibes.org that warns about toxic ingredients in adult toys), friendly to those with mobility issues...they're just generally friendly. I've had nothing but good experiences with them, and their website has lots of information for whatever kind of purchase one might want to make.

I am in the UK and buy stuff from Lovehoney. Good service, good prices, good products (and, yes, ok, some crap ones too but I do still use the sparkly purple one I got as a free gift), and their rating system includes one for 'quietness', which is handy.

Since reccing them or linking to one of their pages in someone else's journal I have been friended by their blogger, which was unexpected (hi, lovehoney_hella, if you're reading this).

  • 1