So today is a day of Lowered Expectations.
My lowered expectation of the day: I will not throw my tiny bowl of refried beans at anyone's face with the intent of bodily harm should they ask me any of these three questions:
1.) Say, did you get that job?
2.) Hey, you have some time to do a few more tests....?
3.) How are you?
I will give myself extra points if I also manage the following but am aware this may be a little too ambitious today.
1.) Not stare hatefully at anyone who looks at me.
2.) Not hide in the bathroom stall to play sudoku on my phone, Fiendish level.
3.) Not hide under my desk to play sudoku on my phone, Fiendish level.
I will not accomplish the following things and accept that totally:
1.) smile.
2.) enjoy the company of other human beings.
3.) not play sudoku, Fiendish level, on my phone while at my desk.
This is a day of lowered expectations. Excuse me while I try to finish my refried beans before anyone realizes I'm here. I really like them, but the container is very aerodynamic and I'm already getting a headache without my glasses.
Anyone want to add their own?
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I will accomplish the following:
1) not stab any of the parents of the new freshmen right in the face for being utter dicksmacks to us.
2) not slam the phone down on people calling us the fifth time to ask the same irrelevant question as if the answer will somehow change between calls 4 and 5
3) I will eat something between now and the end of the workday.
...yeah, I think that's about all I'm capable of, right now.
- bitch out anyone that says anything if he has a meltdown on the plane, despite best efforts on my part;
- have a meltdown of my own if he has one; or
- kill my grandmother-in-law if she tells Husband he's fat (like she did last time before shoving ice cream at him, wtf. Nice person generally. But come on).
I am sorry you have to work on Saturday. State agency employees don't get paid enough for that shit.
But, seeing as one of the reasons I only got 30 minutes of sleep is due to my sister having drunken *loud* sex in the room next door, I am still experiencing a day of lowered expectations.
Today, I will:
*NOT go into her room and break all of her shit, however tempted I am.
*Charge her for the inconvenience and sheer horror of having to hear her.
*NOT light anything on fire, or throw anything heavier than a paperback book at her head.
*Write more on some of the WIPs I've been poking at.
1) Coffee.
2) Porn.
3) Porn.
and
I will not shout out "Are they dumb or are they stupid?" regarding our support department. Again. [To be fair, it was only once so far and my manager only sighed a little.]
Sorry your day sucks. Hopefully it will get better?
And I will not maim or kill any of my drunken tenants when they stumble in at 3 AM.