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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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maybe i am overthinking this a little
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
Speaking from experience gained via a lifetime of television and movies, when one's office lights all go out but all the computers still run, this is how horror movies start. And yet, no matter how many people I tell that sitting in the dark surrounded by the unearthly glow of LCD monitors is very bad and we need to run away now, everyone tells me to stop being imaginative and also warily asks how my gall bladder is.

Hello, my gall bladder didn't cause the lights to go out--or we're entering a very specialized type of horror movie that I really don't want to have to deal with, so stop that shit because a haunted gall bladder that causes lights to go out is not something I want to know exists. Is there a genre for haunted internal organs? Okay, you know what, don't answer that question. Just, just don't.

Yes, that's pretty much all I came online to say. I am a veritable Cassandra at work and there are no lights. And also a burning rubber smell near the door that is not unlike electrical burning or possibly, burning evil. It is currently being investigated. Not by ghostbusters, so who knows what will come of this? No one, that's who.

I feel a breakdown of sanity at nine thirty in the morning is not a good sign of how the rest of the day will go.

Posted at Dreamwidth: http://seperis.dreamwidth.org/34699.html. | You can reply here or there. | comment count unavailable comments

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On the plus side, as long as no one is telling you "I'm sorry, I can't let you do that, Hal," the computers give you a lifeline to the outside world...

Ha! My brother in law and I were waiting in line in the lobby of a movie theater for a free preview of I Am Legend when all the lights went out (and the noise when they went was like the Death Star powering down) and we all looked around and saw the lights in the mall parking lot were on, too. I looked at my brother in law and said, "This is how scary movies start." And then we proceeded to entertain ourselves (and everyone else in the line) by deciding what around us would be good weapons. They got the power back on after about ten minutes, and we and the people near us in line all commented that we KNEW this was how horror movies started, yet we weren't making mad dashes to our car. We figured it would be easier to fortify the lobby than making a run for it across open concrete.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE, YOUR GALL BLADDER IS HAUNTED!!!

Now I can picture gall bladders and livers and hearts floating madly around, haunting everyone. :P

Oh! I read this short story about a lesbian who had a were-pussy! Like, literally, her vagina would grow teeth and get hungry for flesh once a month at full moon. Um. It was an awesome story in a really awesomely awful way, in an anthology called Queer Fear or Queer Fear 2, one of those. I don't imagine you'll ever read it, so I don't suppose it will ruin anything if I tell you that...


[SPOILER]





...she killed it by getting silver piercings in her lady parts.

Edited at 2010-07-13 04:06 pm (UTC)

Oh my god. Doesn't the silver usually burn the wolfy parts like acid?


HOLY ALLEGORY, BATMAN.

That is genius.

DOO DOO DOOOOOOOO...

Well, Asian fox spirits tend to go for the liver, but there's no haunting involved, so uh...

If anyone could have a haunted gallbladder, if would be you.

[eyes Horace suspiciously]

Just remember, if you hear shuffling sounds of doom, RUN AWAY.

Possibly the computer brain of the building has decided to terminate the biological infestation. O_O

LOL, you are brightening up my workday which includes computers and lights that work. and better to have a haunted gall bladder while it is still IN you. i would hate to have it come back later, without a body to go along with! but my first thought on the yes computers, no lights. do you still have to work?

How to determine if you are being haunted: Lessons learned from SPN.

a) is it cold in the region of the disturbance?

b) are you wearing skimpy clothing and full make-up, thus making you a likely candidate for death before the intro?

c) are you sure your gall bladder isn't out to get you in more ways than one? Although, the only haunted organs I can think of are of the "transplant-from-a-serial-killer" kind.

...we're entering a very specialized type of horror movie that I really don't want to have to deal with...

Jenn. You made me inhale coffee. Coffee, Jenn. That shit burns. So, just a note to say you murdered my sinuses, but they'll be back for you.

Is there a genre for haunted internal organs?


I'm sorry, I had to. This *still* cracks me right up.

Thank you! I wanted to post this, but couldn't find the link. I really need to work "Your vagina is haunted!" into more conversations.

One year, my husband and I drove up to Lake Tahoe to attend my cousin's wedding. On the way through a mountain range in Oregon, it started snowing. Then it really started snowing. Like, find-a-place-to-stop-now snowing. So we stopped at this little lodge hotel conveniently placed high up in the mountains, miles away from anything else. In the morning, we found that we'd been snowed in, two feet high; midway through breakfast, the power went out.

Husband-san and I looked at each other. I said, "If the owner comes down to the dining room, sits down on the fireplace, and starts telling us all about the historical unsolved murders in this place, I don't care how clogged the roads are, we're leaving."

Thinking about it, though ... I suppose that would have doomed us anyway, as The Ones Who Tried To Escape. Fortunately, the power came back about ten minutes later, and the snowplow came through about half an hour after that.

::wraps arms around you and brings you opiates and laughs and laughs because OMG this is SO what I would do:

I may or may not still run up the basement stairs because it's dark down there and WHO KNOWS what lurks?

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