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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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how is this my life again?
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
I just realized my moral compass is actually kind of fucked up when applied to shoes.

I'd have sex with unpleasant people for these boots.

If I was wearing them during sex, I might not actually notice anyone else's existence, so you see how this works out.

This can't end well. I need my obsession with computers to return now, please. I just don't think that discovering my one true shoe should involve Christian Louboutin you know?

This has been a message from my lack of willpower. And luckily, from all the credit cards I cut recently. No, I didn't go looking for them desperately, so please don't ask. Or stare resentfully at the garbage cans or anything.

BTW work hates me, so if I am quiet, it's mostly because I'm trying to drown myself in the sink at work. What I am saying here is, would mental health be a reason to buy these? If you know, it saved me from a terrible sink accident?

Posted at Dreamwidth: http://seperis.dreamwidth.org/19637.html. | You can reply here or there. | comment count unavailable comments

...OK, they're pretty. But the question you must always ask yourself at these times is, do you actually have anywhere you can wear them to?

I would create events for them. I'd wander around wearing them with pajamas. I will buy skirts just to show them off.

....okay, probably there would not be many events that would qualify, no.

eta: the spelling of 'wear' was driving me crazy

Edited at 2010-05-19 04:50 am (UTC)

Bootses! Whee!

Unfortunately, due to a rather sever limp, I can't wear heels like that. :( But if I could? Those would be mine.

It's increasingly difficult not to paw at the screen helplessly.

i have the perfect pj's to wear with them! and seriously, i don't want to be reading about your untimely loss in a fatal sink accident....

That is a good point. No one wants to read about death-by-sink!

*mulls*

a) how unpleasant? unappealing physically? off-putting personality? moral corruption? megalomaniacal tendencies?

b) those shoes are terrifyingly beautiful.

c) What I am saying here is, would mental health be a reason to buy these? If you know, it saved me from a terrible sink accident?

-price of shoes (s) = hours of therapy* (t)

-hours of therapy needed to keep you from drowning yourself in the sink (d)

Assuming shoes prevent drowning:
If (d) > (t) then (d) > (s) therefore (s) is the reasonable option. Clearly.

*about 17 hours in Seattle, closer to 24 hours in Austin.

That is the most awesome math ever.

...not that I worked that equation several times or anything.

Those boots ARE sex.

Yes. Yes, they are. *tries not to grab them*

This can't end well. I need my obsession with computers to return now, please.

This is why I so like being a computer nerd who likes collecting spare parts. I spend hardly anything on shoes, but video cards? Homg, EVERY LAST DIME I HAVE. \o/

Also, please don't drown yourself in the sink. *hug hug*

I know! I like that part! This boots thing is getting to me. I'm not even googling for the Android gemini this week!

1. Those boots are awesome
2a. I was about to say that I've had sex with unpleasant people for less, decided it didn't quite sound right, and have settled for...
2b. If those boots (okay, I want guys boots of equivalent hawt) were a post-coital present, I would not regret the worst sex I've ever had. I would probably repeat it, just in case.
3. If retail therapy reduces suicidal tendencies, I'm all for it. Just remember that unpayable levels of credit card debt can increase suicidal tendencies.

2b. If those boots (okay, I want guys boots of equivalent hawt) were a post-coital present, I would not regret the worst sex I've ever had. I would probably repeat it, just in case.

That is a truly great philosophy, right there.

Those boots are awesome. Fortunately for my peace of mind, I can't walk in heels that spiky and thus don't have to suffer from OMG, WANT NOW!!! quite as badly.

*sniffles* They are truly an artistic vision.

Oh, those are lovely.

Those shoes. OMG. I don't have words.

Oh, if you have to discove your one true shoe, I think it really should involve Christian Louboutin. I mean, would those boots be right without the bright red soles? I don't think so.

That is very true.

*tries not to will shoes to appear on desk*

Why are you posting pictorial porn without demonstrative text?

N...guh. Want. I mean, sure they're $200 more than my rent payment, but still!

So, question, would you *dominate* unpleasant people for those boots? B/c buying them could be an investment in your persona, and you wouldn't actually have to have sex with anyone. You could probably even write them off on your taxes as a business expense.

So, question, would you *dominate* unpleasant people for those boots? B/c buying them could be an investment in your persona, and you wouldn't actually have to have sex with anyone. You could probably even write them off on your taxes as a business expense.

...that is genius.

It says absolutely nothing about your moral compass when it comes to what you’ll do in the name of shoes.  Never doubt this.  It’s just pure, scientific fact combined with, like, the power of the Samurai Code or something.  For example, I see myself as a good person. However, I will totally push ailing old people out of the way and into oncoming traffic if I see the potential for awesome footwear. See how that works?  It took a lot of soul searching, but I’ve learned to just accept this facet of myself as natural and good.  Your love of shoes is not a choice.  You’re born with it.  Be happy and proud.
 
Also, there is a great many reasons to have sex in exchange for goods and services and having shoes is, in my opinion, really high on that list.  For the record, I’d have sex for a lot less than those boots.  Hell, you promise me a decent coffee in the morning, and you’re likely to, at the very least, get to second base.

However, I will totally push ailing old people out of the way and into oncoming traffic if I see the potential for awesome footwear. See how that works?

This makes so much sense.

For the record, I’d have sex for a lot less than those boots. Hell, you promise me a decent coffee in the morning, and you’re likely to, at the very least, get to second base.

I've offered to put out for more Kona, I admit it. Perhaps proactively when the pot looked in danger of being empty.

These shoes cost $1,695... let's get 'em!