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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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child, age thirteen, satisfying curiosity
children of dune - leto 1
Child: What slash pairings have you written?
Me: Merlin and Arthur, Brian and Justin, Adam and Kris...
Child: Adam? Lambert?
Me: Who else? Clark Kent and Lex Luthor...
Child: Superman????
Me: Duh.
Child: Can I write NC-17?
Me: ...and that's unexpected.


Child: I feel sorry for Captain America and Wolverine. They were best friends and Captain American died!
Me: He'll be back.
Child: *sighs*
Me: *pats his back* How...good of friends?
Child: *eyes me suspiciously*
Me: No reason.

The thing is, his sex education was kind of brutally frank and lacked euphemisms. If he goes this direction (doubtful, he's not quite there yet), this is going to be like, a cross between a Disney romantic comedy, Nightmare on Elm Street, and like, IDK, Gossip Girl. We're talking like, post-apocalyptic Beauty and the Beast with the word breast used to be edgy. Maybe.

And people wonder why I think the future is going to be awesome. There's an entire generation of fangirl spawn coming up to flood ff.net with badfic and reinvent the wheel all over again.

He has a twitter, a facebook, and a DW account that he got for his birthday, he's almost able to password lock me from the three gmail accounts he knows I know about and the five he thinks I don't, along with three yahoo and several messageboards and all his online games. I know how to reset all of them and disable his computer and he's going to figure out how I do that soon. It's like the most awesome arms race ever, and I have five years of this to look forward to.

Ladies and gentlemen, my son, age thirteen. I did say once I hated to be bored.

ETA: Child henceforth wants to be known as Serpent when I write about him. He left in a huff when I couldn't stop laughing.
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Just so you know, I'm never certain whether to be grateful or terrified of the little glimpses you give me of my future....

Both? *uneasy* I still have traumatic flashbacks of the first sex talk.

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..I love you. That's next.


*hands* My life.


Your 13-yr old Child wants to write NC-17 fic... that explains sooooo much of the badfic I see on the interwebs! He is, however, COMPLETELY AWESOME. I love all the tips I get on raising my (far, far in the future) children.

Its' hilarious. He's not even sure what that means yet but since I write it, he wants to. I was curious if I could get a definition, but decided to wait it out and see if he give me a practical example.

And yes, this is where it comes from.

Eeep - I'm looking at my future! *eyes eight-year-old son suspiciously*

Having children is still a wee bit terrifying to me (I'm 29 & my husband's 36; it'll happen in the next few years). But you make it less so.

I can honestly say I do not get how I would have enough constant entertainment in my life without him. Seriously, it's like, a multiverse adventure a minute.

Man, when he rules the world, you are so going to regret not just calling him Serpent.

I admit, this thought has occurred to me.

Hahaha, good work. This sounds like my treatment of my brother... I introduced him to Harry Potter fandom when he was like, 11, and he hasn't looked back. Luckily he's now so obsessed with steampunk he only writes on typewriters, so the ST: TOS badfic will never make it to ff.net. ;)

*dies* Typewriters? Really? That is so cool!

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I pointed him at ff.net and cackled, I admit it.

i suppose he'd be even more upset if he knew that there were hundreds of fangirls laughing right along with you?

I do look forward to the day he finds out. It's wrong. And yet....

LOL! my answer to "can i write NC17?"

would have been "i don't know, CAN you?"

thank god my are grown! now i'm the one deleting the history on my computer!

this was me six years ago, except without the sex-ed and a whole lot of shitty harry potter hetfic instead of superheroes

. . . you are such an incredible mother, will you adopt me please *______*

so, when he starts writing, are you going to link us or do your very best to pretend it doesn't exist?

God, I would have killed to get him into Harry Potter and gotten the good gossip. He was too young. *sad*

The two he gave me:


He has a couple more, I think, and a continuation of that second one he turned in for school.

That is hilarious! Teenagers will never stop amusing me, I swear.

I am so weirdly excited to watch this. Puberty sucked so much, I keep thinking watching my kid go through it may be the only thing that makes having gone through it myself worth it.

Good god, ChildSerpent is frigging awesome. You are very lucky, indeed.

I get a lot of personal satisfaction imagining the moment he hits NC-17 fanart and like, two girls one cup. So much.

Oh my. The Internet won't know what hit it...