This is what I hope to accomplish today:
1.) I don't actually manage to pry open my desk drawer to get my letter opener, the white-out, and a small pile of otherwise useless binder clips.
....no reason those are significant or anything.
2.) The next time someone says any variation of 'good day', including 'good morning', 'good afternoon', 'hello', or 'hey jenn', not excluding other standard local customs of greetings, I will not stare at their back and try to induce a sudden, tragic outbreak of hives by the power of my displeasure that Wednesday still exists.
3.) I will answer in sentences when someone asks me a question, not open iTunes and try to find an applicable song in my playlist Nihilism Is a Dancer* that has applicable lyrics. AFI and Anna Nalick aren't preferable to this kind of thing anyway.
[* actual playlist name. I gave up giving relevant names a while back and instead smush parts of unrelated lyrics together to see what happens. AFI and Anna Nalick and Afghan Whigs on the same playlist, that's what happens.]
4.) When anyone says the environment went down again, I won't hope they're being literal and not virtual. Okay, maybe not, because that kind of makes me laugh.
5.) When I get home tonight, I will not tell Child they have an open call for men to participate in a trial study about the feasibility of implanting artificial uterii. I will not tell him he's already signed up. I will not say how many grandchildren I think are appropriate. Nor will I imply I already have names for them. Instead, I will be open and honest and tell him if he really wants thermal-vision glasses for his science project, that's fine, but if he asks me one more time why we can't just manufacture the specialized gels in the backyard, seriously. Seriously. If I'm going to set up a backyard lab, it's going to be for meth, like anyone else sane.
*waves tiredly* Hi, I'm Seperis and this is a day of lowered expectations. Anyone else have any? Resolving to not commit homicide is acceptable; not being caught at homicide, however, may be reaching a little too high. Think about that one. I am. I'm not even trying to get into my desk anymore. Much.
In closing; is it time for that time of the month? *confused* I accidentally deleted the phone app I was using to track. Yes, obviously I can't do it any other way or I would not be an eternal source of shock and dismay at something that has occurred every month of my life for over half my life, excluding one year three months of pre-Child and Child time. That is why I had the app!