Anyway, for now, the_moonmoth discusses it with me in this thread where I--clumsily--explained what I was doing with that and how. Anyway, if anyone does want to critique it for that, I'll only enter the discussion at invitation since I really, really would like, if anyone has a problem with it or how it was written, for people to be comfortable saying how it didn't work and why it didn't work without worrying about author interference or excuses. Or tantrums.
If anyone wants a more formal entry on what I was attempting to do with it in terms of racial diversity, colonial/class attitudes, Bechdel, and using xenophobia as a stand-in for racism, I can do that, or I can answer questions on points of uncertainty or failure here, either one, or you know, both. I mean, War Games is not like a seminal work of art here, but since the_moonmoth had such good questions and made me think a lot about what I was doing and for that matter, what I wasn't, I thought I'd toss this out.
Also, for kernezelda regarding Sorin, go here; you may feel a little better about what I was doing. This would have been my email to you when you expressed concern, then I was in deep editing and rewrites and then pretending the story didn't exist for a month.
ETA: Clarification--if anyone wants to critique, etc somewhere not my LJ, I won't wander over uninvited to defend/excuse/tantrum whatever. And even at invitation, I'll honestly have to consider if it will affect any discussion negatively or inhibit criticism.