Seperis (seperis) wrote,

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the probing aliens left this out of the fine print

So I started Christmas shopping via Amazon as Planet Earth went on sale (the boxed set of Planet Earth, Ganges, Wild China, and Galapados of course immediately dropped price right after I purchased Planet Earth and Galapados, which is just my luck) and I am seriously excited about watching this Christmas Day with Child. There's also a documentary on Yellowstone, but I'm trying to find the one that says we'll all die in a fire when Yellowstone volcano goes off, because that's just awesome.

Many years of parenthood have finally ground into me that if I treat Child, at least as far as presents, as an extension of me, it's like ten times easier to get him gifts. Sure, he likes action figures and whatever, but this is the kid who steals my special edition LOTR the second I bought them and learned Elvish or whatever from the extras, okay? There is no building set on earth that he does not find awesome. And if it's computer or game related, of course he wants it, which is why I'm staring at an X-Box, because sure, I am a terible parent who buys all the major game consoles and has games falling out of every cabinet we have, he really wants to play Halo and I understand that need. Plus, it's Halo. I mean--*helpless*--what kind of parent does not get the awesome of Halo?

It's one of those things I think only gamer parents or geeky parents understand immediately. My boss looked at me for a moment: "You have a P3 and a Wii," he says in bewilderment. "But you cannot play Halo 3 OST on a Wii, sir," I respond helplessly. "Your child is spoiled," he said blankly. "I didn't get him another laptop?" I countered. "...because he's getting mine when I buy a new one." My boss: "Does he have any clothes at all?" Me: " uniforms? I think? We have a lot of books!" Him: "What about shoes?" Me: "I've seen him wearing them?"

He does! We go to Target and buy like, whatever is wearable and a couple of outfits for going places that aren't school, and my sister does not get this at all, because I'm a total clotheshorse (and she's even worse; dear God), but Child? Not so much, not being a teenager yet. Everything he gets that's not dress or visiting clothes is pretty much stuff that can be destroyed in under five minutes next time he wants to randomly dig a hole for purposes I try not to discover in teh back yard. So every so often, we notice (my sister notices) that he seems to have a real lack of clothing to wear to places not the backyard and lo, we trudge to Target and clear out the clearance t-shirt and jeans aisle for six months (he owns a shocking number of thermal shirts; we both boggle about this, then try to remember what we'd been watching on TV recently, since a lot of our fashion choices do follow the most recent BBC series). Sometimes it matches? But this is me and Child and let's all remember V picks my clothes out for me when it's not denim-related.

There's also the fact that we can share t-shirts now, which is totes cool but also a cause for people not us who visit to stare blankly as we shout at each other across the house about who was the last person to see the white thermal and that's my belt, you little alien hybrid! at which time he stops short yelling I knew it! YOU WERE PROBED BY ALIENS AND I AM GOING TO TELL MY ALIEN FATHER ABOUT THIS while I yell THEN BUILD A GODDAMN TRANSPONDER ALREADY AND CONTACT THEM! Which is why there are holes in the backyard. Cause == effect.

Speaking of, it is coming on Christmas, which means I need get him Christmas outfits so we can pretend we are normal human beings amongst people that aren't us. *sighs*

Other speculative: Bladerunner Special Edition, which I'd been eyeing for about a year or so; Barnes and Noble gift card for books, since I cannot deal with having to pick out another book on reptiles; a subscription to the magazine Reptiles (yeah, I know); the new editions of Monopoly; a Guild Wars extension; and from the list my flist provided, two more graphic novels. Baby Niece and Baby Nephew are both more and less complicated; my mother is getting them a bouncy horse thing for bouncing purposes such as this, but two of those seems overkill, but! If she gets just one of those, then I could get them this. As my sister cannot handle either one at her apartment, both would be at my parents' house anyway and they are babysat there. And seriously, pedal cars are awesome. And I can get them fireman hats! TINY FIREMAN HATS.

Elder Niece is more complicated; I am still thinking. I wish I could find whatever Bratz merchandise is left anywhere and grab that for her, since I disliked them up until Mattel threw that shit fit and now I'm just irritated that once again the market is Barbie, Barbie, Barbie. I am that contrary. *sighs* I'll figure out something.

Oh Christmas. My favorite time of year. Also, I really want to take Child to Disneyworld. He's tall enough now that we can go on all the roller coasters together and be sick together afterward. I seriously, seriously have to figure out how to make this happen.
Tags: child, christmas, jenn's life
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