There is nothing decent about five AM, I'm just saying. But that is not what I want to talk about. Today, I'd like to talk about a little known danger of the internet age which I feel that someone, somewhere, should have warned me about. Facebook insomnia.
We all know the dangers inherent in drunk dialing, and then there was drunk posting, and always there is insomnial posting, but I didn't realize there was also insomnial friending, when two in the morning you are--God help you--staring at your facebook and realize, a.) oh God you hate that thing so much it hurts you inside, delete it! and instead you, b.) friend people you know, even if you hate them.
There's just something horrible about staring at your sudden spate of facebook activity and realize, holy shit, what was I thinking?
THen? THEN? THEY FRIEND YOU BACK AND TALK TO YOU. HOLY FUCK WHAT WAS I THINKING?
Also, it's been fifteen, thirteen, ten years. And Facebook is not a medium one uses to break down their lives. Also, some of them I didn't hate, but then I found two exes and that was kind of funny, and also, what was I thinking?
I blame winterlive for abandoning me to die.
That is all. God help me. No one warned me of insomnial facebooking.
Also, it is nearly six am and I don't think there's enough coffee in the world to deal with this.