In other news, there is no other news. I mean, winterlive is a filthy, filthy tease with fic (seriously, my inbox is such a porny, porny place) and transtempts is trying to drive me nuts with what appears to be OT3 foreplay that lasts forever, and svmadelyn is sending me links to fic where people use the word orbs for eyes without irony. I'm sorry, no.
Also, apparently, my playlist for Star Trek is dance-pop and techno. I wnat to say I do not associate Kirk with Britney Spears (damn you, butterfly, with your brilliance; when I get stuck, that's the vid I watch to get unstuck when writing), but it's a lie. I am so not kidding. I dragged out The Pussycat Dolls and I don't know what this means, but I know it's not an improvement on my emo-by-way-of-metal-guitar phase.
[And talitha78 for freaking Lady Gaga. I--can't even deal with this. I just pretend I am not me. I am saying, my musical tastes are pretty much "Did a vidder use this song? I like it!" Is that even healthy?]
It's been a while, so I feel it's about time to list off my most recent fic peeves. In no particular order in two fandoms.
Stop using orbs for eyes. How can anyone write that and not think of Tolkien, I do not know.
You cannot use jade three times in a sentence, I do not fucking care how green Spock's cock is.
Lube. Lube. Lube. LUBE. LUBE. I am not asking much here. I am asking that I do not have an unmistakable physiological reaction known as SQUICK where there is twitching and so much mockery.
Weirdly, I am still okay with instant refraction period and marathon sex, but see, here's the thing. No one should be striving for realism, because realism is kind of disgusting, it's not like humans like sex because it is pretty and clean, we like it because it's filthy and its fun, but filthy can be really literal--they need to strive for hotness. Lubeless sex is not hot (there are exceptions, but I will state unequivocally that I will actually friend people on their ability to pull that off and not make me flinch. That's skillz.). Ten times in twelve hours is hot. What I'm saying is, I am really arbitrary in my enforcement of realism. I read astolat's Merlin tentacle fic and really hated myself for loving it as much as I did, alright? So there you go. Arbitrary.
Kirk is not dumb. Let me just state, in case Pike didn't convince you, Starfleet in three years and worked out that Nero was back due to a conversation while listening to two undressed girls talking and semi-conscious in sickbay with a snatch of an announcement. The novelization had him competitive for valedictorian of his class. Broke into Starfleet security to alter Spock's program. Spock's. Program. And heartily pissed off his Vulcanness pulling that shit. Not dumb. The Enterprise is chock full of geniuses. Crazy geniuses below the age of thirty-five who are going to either destroy teh galaxy or just set it on fire.
Smart is hot. Everyone can be smart! It's okay! You don't need a token dumb character to show how smart your favorite character is! Really! We're fangirls! I have at least ten MENSA on my flist and only hate them on alternate Sundays! Smart for everyone! Please. Stop that shit. It's not just irritating, it's cliched as hell. D/s all you like, but keep everyone's IQ intact.
Luckily, I read only by rec and very careful screening (ie, skim and run)--Uhura is not just awesome because she has lines and is a woman. She speaks eighty-three percent of Federation languages. Sit on that one for a bit for those of us who are monolingual with pretensions of understanding and reading a second language under stress. And all three dialects of Romulan. She owns herself, which is actually, oddly, why I like her. I liked her mocking Kirk while he flirted with her (the movie was a high improvement on the book on her character, btw, she shoots men down with style and with a smile; I love her for that).
Also, randomly, and I can't remmber if this was in the book or book and movie, but I was utterly thrilled when Spock gave her the conn. Small thing, but in TOS, I don't remember her being given command of the ship.
Okay, question for Uhura fans and the chain of command, please. This is jsut for my own curiosity for now, though I am using some of this for a fic.
Has anyone worked out the chain of command for the Enterprise yet? For my own purposes, considering her age and seniority, in the current Enterprise, I assumed Uhura was third in seniority after Kirk and Spock, but does it work like that or does the helm outrank communications? While the Captain can give command to anyone (see the novel Doctor's Orders I think for the hilarious results of Kirk making McCoy take it and then vanishing; that was great), I remember in TNG that Deanna outranked Ensign Ro despite being ship's counselor despite command experience, I'm not so sure here. I'm not even sure bridge crew no matter their rank are higher in the chain of command than someone of higher rank but not bridge crew; is it just me or is Starfleet just that confusing sometimes?
If it's not set, I'm just going with that interpretation due to her (probably?) being already graduated and the Starfleet equivalent of a grad student when the movie opens.
Okay, I cannot deal with her being junior to Sulu and Chekov. I just can't. It doesn't make sense. I keep clinging to Spock giving her the conn as proof currently she's third in the chain of command.
And because this came up on my flist.
Recently, several people on my flist were gathering information/recs/links about fic that highlighted POCs in fandoms and pairings. If you're into Trek, I submit Voyager as being the only fandom I know of that every major pairing het and slash involved a POC. The only ones I can think of that weren't and had a following were Paris/Seven and Janeway/Paris for het and Janeway/Seven in slash, and two of those didn't take off until season five. And Paris/Seven was not that popular; I know, it was my tertiary pairing. At one time in the fandom, I think I was responsible for like, half of all existing Paris/Seven stories and one novel. I--really need to find my list of fic. I never did finish a decent Voyager fic rec page.
Weirdly, it was not until the last year when someone mentioned it that I ever noted that of Voyager's major characters, there were only five that were white, and only two of those were bridge crew: Captain Janeway, female; Kes, female, alien, not bridge (season one through four); Seven of Nine, female, Borg, Astrometrics, not bridge (season five through seven); Lieutenant Paris, male; and The Doctor, hologram, doctor, not bridge. Not an ideal spread, but still kind of surprising to me, possibly because when the question went around where people were thinking what POC related stories they'd written, I completely forgot the majority of my Voyager fic was primary Tom/B'Elanna (and fine, one Chakotay/Paris, but that story had him sleeping with everyone. As I am one with cliches sometimes). Which is a reminder of my level of awareness is not exactly all tht great.
Even that mix isn't ideal or representative, but compared to TNG (and to a lesser extent DS9, though DS9 had a much higher proportion of alien, and I wasn't a regular watcher, they could have been much more diverse and I just don't remember; I watched for Sisko and Jadzia, basically) that's not--too terrible. Which isn't exactly a recommendation, but I can say my pairing has some seriously amazing writers, and was also not only my first experience with fandom, but with threesomes (Tuvok/Paris/Torres and Paris/Kim/Torres and Paris/Torres/Seven). I can hunt up recs if anyone is interested.
Finally, for anyone who is interested or who wasn't around circa 2006 when I did this, Trek Meet and Greet. I haven't updated comments since last year, nor is it terribly organized, but it has a pretty interesting cross-section of Trek writers on LJ, comms, etc. If it feels useful or there isn't a better reference out there, I'd be happy to start organizing and updating it again. There are some people I haven't added or removed either by request or because they really, really seemed to not want the connection.
Yes, this is what happens when I've been struggling with Vulcan porn. I can't even look at myself in the mirror right now. Kirk POV--next time, Kirk POV.
ETA: darkrosetiger asks for Tuvok recs here and now I'm kind of interested too. Bring your Tuvok recs!