?

Log in

No account? Create an account

The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


Previous Entry Share Next Entry
i seriously remember this scene from the stand
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
My nephew--has sniffles. I've seen pink cheeks. There's a definite air of Not Perfectly Healthy. I'm suspicious.

I've been overruled in casting him to the wolves to protect ourselves from the hotdog flu, so I want you all to know that I tried to protect humanity and it totally did not work.

[Note: mneiai says: NO! What if that created some sort of super flu? It's already swine-human-bird flu, do you want it to be swine-human-bird-wolf flu??? So please remove "exposing relatives when showing signs of illness" from your Survival Checklist, please.]

By now everyone knows that Texas has the honor of having the first flu-related death in the US, which you know, we reacted to appropriately, by shutting down all UIL events (that's all school related sports and statewide academic competitions) and in Austin, we have school closures as well. We're not overreacting at all.

[Apparently, a school in Austin had a kid that may have a case or something?]

WHO Raises Panedmic Level to Going To Probably Die Soon KTHX so I went to check our trusty Death Map of Encroaching Death to see how close we are to annihilation. As you can see, this is now a Very Special Swine Death Map, as opposed to the one that shows lesser diseases like ebola and polio, which are totally Old News.

I'd like to thank CNN for that very special article Three Twentieth Century Pandemics so just in case anyone isn't dragging out the breathing masks and pulling guns on everyone with a runny nose, they'll get right on that shit.

To say I watch with an eye toward which places I'll be scavenging for goods when civilization collapses does not necessarily overstate the case. I'm thinking the future will need very large LCD TVs and high end laptops. I do not necessarily support future looting, but I do expect everyone to do their part and keep an eye on what will be useful in our glorious new technopunk society. Stockpiling Jolt and coffee would not, I think, be an overreaction to the problem. Also, I'd suggest grabbing a copy of The Stand for useful tips about how to travel during the end of the world. We will need to be able to perform off-the-cuff appendectomies, know how to operate a motorcycle, and be proficient in several types of firearms. And don't go to the crazy white guy in California Vegas, people. Mystical old black woman is the way to go. She told me so last night.

Cthulhu save you all.

ETA: Corrected California to Vegas, as tzikeh knows our survival manual, Cthulhu love her.

Of course, that first death in the US was of a Mexican citizen....

If the nephew doesn't have a fever, nothing to fear. If the nephew does have a fever, you should totally get him a kid sized face mask thing. ^.^

...and expose him to the wolves, right?

don't go to the crazy white guy in California, people.

Wasn't he in Vegas?

You are wise in the ways of our survival guide. Fixed!

I've been reading your updates on this whole affair from the beginning and I have to say it's better than fic. You are cracking my shit up on the regular. Though I do look forward to your impending Merlin fic, I pray to Cthulhu that this hotdog business keeps up just a little longer, just for your updates.

I think I get a special seat on the flaming Greyhound to Hell for that particular wish. But I made it regardless.

Ironically, the Merlin fic is about--I kid you not--a deadly fever sweeping Camelot. I started it in March. Just--cannot get over that.

I should get a gun and draw it on anyone with sniffles who tries to come within a 10 foot radius.

I do not object to this course of action.

This is like that time when the old lady died of anthrax, and everyone was trying to figure out why terrorists targeted *her*. And then we found out she walked through a suspect sheep meadow.

Well, congratulations, you just found the ONE person in the U.S. each year who naturally dies of anthrax.

Some of that may be happening here. We have to be careful. We don't know for sure why the people who died have died. Ok, they had swine flu - was there a co-morbid secondary infection we aren't noticing? Answers are thin on the ground. Right now we have managed to extract a virus - that isn't killing most people who contract it - that we haven't seen before. We think. From a scientific point of view, it's worrisome, but the CDC is right not to engage any extreme measures.

I'm suspicious. In The Stand, our Survival Manual for Survival, the government totally said everything was okay.

Pandemic II is exactly the right game to prepare for the inevitable apocalypse.

Oooh. Perfect to get good projections for the future!

Well, your Death Map is out of date since so far NONE of the suspected cases in NC are actually swine flu. Does this help at all?

Let's not forget avoiding pyromaniacs with a nuclear-weapon obsession.

Oh Trash Can Man, you poor, sick fuck. With your creepy feelings about nukes.

(Deleted comment)
Oooh, you're awesome! So many ways to watch doom!

*glee*

I have not! *glee* Thank you!

Am I alone in my amusement that the India post is -STILL- about Niagra falls' reaction to H1N1?

Well, Niagara.

Okay, the real horror is I just almost typed Viagra. *shudders*

Clearly, the place to be is Kazakhstan.

I've heard northern Siberia is lovely this time of year.

Heh. There's a poor girl who's been sick for a while at work, though with a springtime cold and not the death flu of death as your tag so aptly calls it. Poor thing keeps being told such things as "is it possible to create a Lysol shield around your desk?" and "at least you got sick before all this happened so you know you're not going to die, right?"

My partner works at a food co-op and they are having special pandemic meetings to make sure they are prepared. The offer such wonderful advice as "the masks are really expensive so don't freak and use them until you have to," and "for your deity of choice's sake, wash you hands and don't hack near the food."

*falls over* Hacking near the food. Words to live by, man.

I realize that like, it's kinda a bad thing that there's this vicious flu of pigs or whatever - but you are seriously cracking my shit up. And I'm a tiny bit of a hypochondriac (if one can be a little bit of something like that) so thank you for not scaring the ever living CRAP out of me and instead making me laugh until my eyes teared up!

I'll be over here thinking about the price of hazmat suits and hiding under my covers if anyone's looking for me.

Flu of pigs made me think of bay of pigs and howl. *hee*

Hazmat suits--good thought. I wonder where we can scavenge them from?