Seperis (seperis) wrote,

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growing up on the internet

So it's not like I don't think it's my duty to educate my only child. I mean, I don't, I think that's TV's job obviously. And media, of course. There, he can learn exciting life lessons about rape and the women who love their rapists and so forth. However, every so often? The media fails me and then I have to actually interact with the brat and like, teach him stuff.

Important Life Lesson: Guarding Our Borders From Those Brown Peoples

Now, you might make the mistake of thinking I'm informed or something about this, which is insane, because I cannot point out enough, I'm on Ritalin for a reason, and it's not because of the high (as apparently, I can't do that, my body uses it for the practical purposes of making sure I keep two thoughts coherent and in order, which as you can see, is working wonderfully), but I will admit, with shame, I was reading through CNN the other day (it was an accident) and saw the blurb, shivered at this intersection with reality, and moved on to look for something shiny that required less critical thinking skills.

But no, then it had to show up yesterday while I was trying to eat cake as my son said, from the computer "I am patrolling the border!" Granted, my son also says things like, "I am cloning you!" and "I didn't do that!" so usually, this is a dirty lie. So imagine my shock when I went through the effort of looking at the screen (and missed a bite of cake, because I forgot to stop the fork) and indeed, he was patrolling the border and was hoping to make a report. With this like, red report button. Right there on the screen.

In the last year of my son's life, everything changed, and I think I changed the most.

In the last year, my twelve year old son has come to me after a speaker in his social studies class gave a questionable view of Zionism and the US involvement in Palestine. In the last year, my twelve year old son didn't understand why white people were chosen for Avatar casting. In the last fucking year, my twelve year old white son had to be explained to, again, why I can't go to certain countries because of my sex, my single status, and the fact I had a child out of wedlock.

He asks me a thousand questions a day, and I have the internet and a group of people I can email when I don't know what to say or how to answer. And I've gotten good at extempore speeches and hell, do I know where examples are, I do. But. It's not enough that there's all the rest of this shit in the world; my twelve year old stumbled across a website devoted to becoming a virtual internetz vigilante to report illegal immigration.

This isn't acceptable. It's just not. I'm not done with him yet. He's not done with him yet. He's smart and he's sweet and he's kind of insane and he's still a work in progress and he's wonderful and this isn't who he is and who he is going to be, and it's not who he wants to be. This is his life, and he's my life, and fuck it, let him watch all the internet porn he wants, I'll give him the address to fucking Something Awful myself and he can post crappy pictures of autopsies and goatse and make shitty cat macros and whatever, but my twelve year old child is not going to see this, do this, believe in this, ever look at this and think this is something right.

He's so much better than this.

Fuck this, I'm downloading SETI. He's looking for aliens* tomorrow.

ETA: * The kind that come from space.
Tags: child, jenn's life, meta: racism
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