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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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child: on saturday nights
Entertaining yourself on a Saturday night....

When Child complains about Niece:

"Child and Niece, sitting in a tree
First comes love, then comes genetic testing for possible conditions
Then comes hopefully adopted sprog in a baby carriage"

[context: this works much better when both children are aware of a.) incest jokes, b.) genetics and c.) their aunt told them both they were actually adopted from aliens, and therefore are doomed to mate. This could in fact bite me in the ass when they reach their majority, but right now, I'm very bored and their expressions are really really funny. I should make them watch Roswell. I can be cruel.]

On the Sci-Fi Channel, some movie involving Merlin (different one) and Child Expresses Dissatisfaction:

"You love Merlin. You want to marry him. You want to have baaabies with him. And Arthur!"

Child takes five seconds to consider before eruption. Luckily, I am a.) spry and b.) in ownership of a locking door. Eventually, he has to get tired, right? Right.

[context: this works best after a.) the DNA discussion of the night before and b.) me telling him that I am signing him up for the male pregnancy trials.]

[note: I'm betting this will work like whoa after puberty hits. Remind me please?]

Admit it. The reason people really have children has nothing to do with biological imperatives. It's really just the joy of being able to destroy lives without leaving home. It's like writing an apocalypse, but more immediate, really.

You know, this would all work out for him better if he stopped hiding my DVD sets. I'm totally telling him I think he's growing ovaries the next time he mentions Merlin or Fraser. Or his weird, inappropriate crush on John Sheppard.

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(Deleted comment)
one day, we will all see him on TV talking about the mother that ruined his life. And that will be me!

So excited.

Hey. Crushes on John Sheppard are never inappropriate. :-)

Point. But still. This is a long-ass crush already.

So... your son knows the meaning of loyalty? has a long attention span? something?

I'd say John's weapons are to blame. *g* He got that from me. And Ronon.

You make Denzel sad.

(YAY! First opportunity for new icon!)

What about youuuuur inappropriate crush on John Sheppard? Hmmmm?

*snickers into hands*

That sounds like a perfectly good reason to have children.

My sibling and I used to discuss that our parents had us because slaves were out-lawed. This was our major gripe when it came to chores. =D

That too has been a consideration. *happy place*

Wow. Your Child is even more entertainingly twisted than my Child. Which is, you know, kind of surprising, since mine has already declared she's going to be in therapy for years because of me after I made her read speranza's Eggroll story.

Well, wait, that declaration might have come earlier than the story. It might have happened when I told her I was allergic to marriage. Whatever.

Still. I bet yours never built a working nuclear reactor in the basement.

I'm not worried about a nuclear reactor. A cloning facility in the backyard? That I worry about.

*sighs happily* I look forward to his therapist.

And his therapist's therapist. I see drugs in someone's future.

And I don't think it's anyone related to you. :}

(Deleted comment)
It's so much more fun than people think.

It's a shame you live so far away, our kids could so totally be long-suffering together. Hee.

Mr Pi and I are totally agreed that the reasons to have children are in order to procure (in no particular order):

1. Someone to fing the remote control and bring it to you.
2. Someone to do various household chores.
3. Someone to screw up. (Because, as we often remind each other, If you can't screw up your own kids, whose can you screw up? ...Other than the three neighbor boys, who, by virtue of being in our house for approx. 14 hours a day, are, de facto, our children for the screwing up. So far, so good.)
4. Someone to grow up and -
(a) Major in something dull but lucrative, in order to support parents in European luxury lifestyle.
(b) Specialize in world domination, in order to etc.
5. Someone to make imitate mockingly when they whine for the 86th time "It's not faaaaaaaair."
6. Someone to cuddle, occasionally against their will.
7. Someone to yell "I love you! Have a great day! Wash your hands before lunch!" to when you drop them off at school.

Um, in #1? "Fing" = "Find." Sorry about that.

There is no such thing as an inappropriate crush on John Sheppard. Regardless of age or gender.

Or Jon Stewart, who I initially misread the name as.

b.) me telling him that I am signing him up for the male pregnancy trials.

I feel like child will turn out to be exactly my type of person, aka crazy but you can see how they got to their point from reality. I'm of the belief that if you can back up your insane theories with some sort twist on legit science, they are far superior.

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