I would like to report: Awesome.
There is nothing about this I do not like.
1.) Controllers: pretty much exactly what you'd expect of semi-first-generation motion detector--aka, much, much better than I expected, miles to go before I sleep. Sharp movements are bad, but once you get used to it (about thirty minutes) you shouldn't have much trouble at all. However, you will re-adapt every session and every game. Again, much better than I expected it to work and super duper awesome fun where I pointed at the screen and felt like I had indeed entered a brave new world. Awesome.
2.) Controllers, Part 2: Yes, the rumors about people throwing their remotes into the TV are really, really likely. Thank you wrist strap. Also useful during Wii Fit things so you don't have to hold it. This is especially true during boxing and bowling, where you might forget you aren't punching someone and nearly slam a fist into the TV. Not that I did that. Child almost did before we pulled him back.
2.) wii Sports: Golf -blah, but I don't like golf. Baseball - blah, I don't like baseball. Tennis, I don't like tennis but I love playing it here, especially jumping for serves and whipping around the remote. It's pretty accurate. Learning curve in general on all Wii Sports is about ten minutes or one game. Faster if you are playing with someone else. Bowling kicks ass. Me, my mom, my sisters, my aunt, my bil, my son, and my niece competitively bowled for about four hours. Huge fun. Not hard, but oddly challenging to adjust for what the ideal speed and angle according to Wii should be. Boxing is--weird. Child gets it. I can't make it work right. I get knocked out alot. I kick his ass at tennis. It's all good. I'd recommend bowling and tennis on Wii Sports for acclimation. They're fairly accurate on your entire Wii experience and a lot of fun. The training programs are also fun.
3.) Wii Fit.
I cannot count the ways this is awesome.
First--when you get the board, also get the wii fit bundle thing that comes with socks (socks!) yoga mat, charger, a cover for the board to keep it from getting dirty, and a bag for it. You will need these things, especially the charger, since everything runs on AAs, and the sleeve for teh board--really. I do not care how clean your feet are, your board will be smudged looking and icky and that will hurt. Cover is easily washed.
Warning: your Mii will take on your general height and weight. If your Mii looks suddenly chubbier than expected, just go with it. If your sister's looks like a beanpole and yours looks like an apple, go with it. The evaluation is not good for the ego, but it's--not good for the ego. Do it anyway and stare at your apple-shaped Mii and remember the BMI was just readjusted a few years ago to make everyone fatter. Your Mii will apparently get slimmer as you do, since you can do a body test every day to check weight and balance. I know I, for one, am staring at it with dread, yet my Mii will reflect my progress.
You get a stamp on the calendar every day that you do the body test. I'd generally recommend doing the body test first, taking off to do something else if you get too tired, then come back for training. That's two intervals of fifteen minutes which is really doable. I do mine all at once, but I do about an hour at a time right now because I keep forgetting to stop, as okay, let me say this again, this is a whole lot of fun. The Wii will come up every fifteen minutes telling you to stop. Probably if you are me, you will ignore it until you fall off the board and nearly onto the Christmas tree. And then someone else tries to get the Wii, but you still have the remote strapped to your wrist and they will get it off over your dead body.
...I do not care if there are twelve step programs for this. I'm not going.
You get a choice of two irritatingly fit trainers. I chose the girl because her voice was hypnotically soothing. I mean, to really be inspirational, the trainers should take on your general height and weight since you have to look at them the most, but eh.
Yoga and strength exercising are basically standard type, though a premium is placed on balance and breathing. Luckily, onscreen monitors give you breathing imaging and there's a gold monitor telling you about your balance. My balance is not great. You will hate that vicious green monitor telling you that you are using your right leg too much. But you will go with it to beat everyone else's scores because you will be damned if Child and BeanPole sister are going to be first. Which they are not because you are that crazy.
The real fun is in the aerobics. Family crack is the hula hoop (you'd be surprised how tired one's hips can get) and for me, the dance thingie, which is just fun. The balance games are deeply awesome and really disturbingly hard.
Honestly, the yoga is useful and a little painful, since surprisingly easy looking exercises are totes harder when holding for five breathes. That stand-on-one-leg thing isn't happening so well. But I am a master of deep breathing.
For every minute of exercise you get a minute in the bank, and every some amount of minutes, you get new exercises opening up or a new balance game.
The more tired you are, the more your balance is going to be off. Do the yoga and strengthening first, then go to aerobics, since they don't have the balance part and you don't lose points for falling over. Honestly, it's interesting--even when I thought I was doing the exercise correctly, the balance monitor made me fix into it a much more excruciating pose that is like, a quarter of a centimeter from your old one but balanced and hence, more hideous. And also better for you, or so it says.
Child played Simpsons and finished over the weekend. Most games are surprisingly physical even if they really shouldn't be with the motion thing. We're all kind of hypnotized by bowling and Wii Fit.
So. Recommended for anyone who just likes to have fun. It seriously, seriously is.