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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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adventures in rats
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
Continued from Madelyn's Rat Saga

svmadelyn: i think i am wussing out on the crockpot tonight.
svmadelyn: *indecisive*
seperis: *stares at you*
svmadelyn: i can't do it!
svmadelyn: i am clumsy from exhaustion.
svmadelyn: yes.
seperis: YOU CAN
svmadelyn: and what if it climbs under the lid
svmadelyn: and gets in the soup
seperis: It won't.
svmadelyn: and i ladle myself a portion
seperis: It does not have opposable thumbs.
svmadelyn: and then FOOD IS RUINED FOREVER.
seperis: NO THUMBS.
svmadelyn: then I'd turn into someone with an eating disorder.
svmadelyn: and skeletal
svmadelyn: and cranky because hi, I like eating.
svmadelyn: then I'd have to be admitted somewhere.
seperis: NO THUMBS HONEY.
svmadelyn: and we know how I feel about hospitals.
seperis: BREATHE
svmadelyn: I CAN'T IT IS HOLDING MY ATROVENT HOSTAGE.

...are there rats with thumbs? *worried*
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(Deleted comment)
They don't have thumbs buuuuut, bearer of bad news that I am, I will point out that these are very adaptable and crafty and determined creatures that use what fingery things they do have VERY well.

Also, really, the foil idea was good. And anyway, at least it wasn't like the woman who drank the coffee that had brewed a bat...

SHHH. SHE WILL NEVER SLEEP.

Uhhhh...ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A LAND OF HAPPINESS AND KITTENS. KITTENS WHICH COULD EAT RATS EVEN IF THEY WERE SEALED IN CROCKPOTS BECAUSE THEY HAVE MAGIC JAWS AND GO ABOUT RESCUING MAIDENS IN DISTRESS.

...okay, storytime's over, now bedtime? >_>

Thank you for this. I will now be plagued by tiny rats smelling chicken and then there's drowning in mushroom soup and--and--

I hope you are happy.

Awww, no. I'd fix it but I don't think I know where you live so I can't really come over there and do that. *patpat* Don't worry, if you get some rest and time to chill, you'll be ready to deal with it on your own time. The rat can just wait.

SO MUCH FOR THE GERBIL "THEORY." I KNEW YOU DIDN'T REALLY BUY IT.

IT IS A GERBIL. BARTLET AFTER WEST WING. YOU ARE BEING DELIBERATELY DIFFICULT.

They don't have thumbs, but they have two front paws with toes that work like fingers, can sit upright to use both at the same time, and have teeth that work as tools too. So adjusted for their small size they can pretty much do anything that humans could do with just fingers of two hands and teeth, and they love to get inside things that smell like food, especially cooked food. My rats are very resourceful. There's a reason why I never let them out of their cage unsupervised. And the cage doors have locks.

The more disgusting thing might actually be that even if the pot remains closed, they'll smell that there's food inside and check it out and rats, just like mice, mark their trails with small amounts of pee. So the rat will likely leave tiny urine drops on the pot climbing on it and the kitchen counter and such once it is in the kitchen.

hahhaha, at once informative and kind of evil 'cause now i'm imagining svmadelyn running round her kitching wanting to BLEACH EVERYTHING

Well, while rodents are gross as vermin, I think wiping things down normally would work well enough (but then I've never used bleach to clean anything). I don't think it's that dangerous or that anything is transmitted by their urine. After all you don't clean your food itself with bleach, and outside all kinds of animals crap on it while it grows, and just washing is good enough. And I'm fairly sure lots of food stuff comes into contact with small amounts of rodent pee anyway during storage, processing and transport anyway too. Like I'm fairly sure most bakeries need to have over regular exterminators and I'm that's probably true for most food storage and processing places, and I'm sure counter measures keep the vermin down somewhat but I doubt it works completely. E.g. I once saw chocolate in the supermarket across my street that had rat sized chewing signs, so clearly somewhere along the line there was a rodent problem. I mean, I've never seen any in the supermarket itself, but still.

IAWTC. Totally.

My icon has never felt more appropriate.

Me neither!

Aaaaaaaaah *runs away screaming*

I suppose we should have expected someone named ratcreature to know about such thing... :)

But why? It's not like rat urine or droppings are inherently more disgusting than those of pigs or cows? I understand being cautious about traces of animal feces on food from things that could transmit worms onto you and you can't be sure to remove all parasite eggs, like with some stuff from forests or whatever, but in general? Fields are intentionally fertilized with animal crap after all, and okay, there are problems, like for example if the animals were given too much antibiotics those will accumulate in the plants, you get lettuce with some extra meds and such, but the icky thing isn't the natural shit...

*sticks fingers in ears*

LA LA LA LA LA!!!! I can't hear you!!!

:D

I vote for the foil concept. It should keep the bugger out and if it somehow *doesn't*, it'll let her know that it has been gotten into. And thus not all food has to be ruined, just the crockpot's food.

Shoelaces. With double knots. Tie the crock pot shut. Even rats can't undo double knots.


Can they?

They love to chew through things though. And I know from experience that shoe laces are not rodent teeth resistant at all. Can a crockpot go into an oven? I think oven doors would definitely be heavy enough so that the food inside will be safe.

Yeah but I don't think she could COOK in the crockpot while it was in the oven?

Hmm. Right, chewy things. Like Aslan. Uhm....

Ok, so clearly she needs a bomb shelter.

When I was working at the Pentagon there was a construction project going on, and every time the project shifted, it drove out huge numbers. They proceeded into new sections of the building and started making nests. The whole process resulted in waves of computer outages as they ate through the cables. At one point they took out some highly sensitive areas - so remember as you face these furry demons, they have attempted to topple superpowers before! Even high grade military installations are not safe!

Something similar happened to a friend of mine at a college. Rats ate his internet!

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