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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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other things
children of dune - leto 1
I'm having a day where I really want to get in an online argument with someone. Preferably over something both stupid and something I am totally totally right about. Currently I am imagining out elaborate scenarios where I emerge the victor of a long and bitter battle where everyone bows before me and offers me e-congrats and possibly worship.

I occasionally write entire ranty entries that I don't post--instead, I consign them to MSWord to be forgotten, because sometimes it is just as satisfactory to write it out and save it without posting. It's soothing. All the textual satisfaction without the inevitable byproduct of online explosions.

However, the proliferation of lj comms that I follow that aren't fannish are bringing out a lot more of my latent sarcasm than I'd thought was still active.

At work, I got in mild trouble, which you would think wouldn't relate to the above, but I hate being lectured for something I didn't do and it doesn't help that I was in a bad mood anyway with my cubicle continuing to lack electricity and network access (both of which I am getting with the help of extension cords from other cubicles now). She asked why I hadn't had the bright idea of an extension cord before (because they said the electrician was going to fix it. I will happily rewire my cube if that's what you really want, though; I looked up cubicle design and can print out the blueprints. Give me tools, please), then she ended up saying she rather thought I liked doing nothing.

Yeah, that went well.

In five years, every time my supervisors have had the authority to give me a bonus, they have, which is three out of five years. Every. Damn. Time. I've had to recut my own resumee because I couldn't cover all the projects I used to do, supervise, or create. I carry a folder to interviews with the rest of it. In testing, I finish all my first draft scenarios within the first week. I have never, ever been less than excellent at my job.

I had to stop and blink slowly, because here if not elsewhere, I'll point out; I am never less than excellent at what I do. I am lazy and I get bored easily, and sure, I blow off all kinds of stuff when I feel like it, but I can, because I'm good at my job and I've been called up for a lot of things, but the quality of my work and my ethic are freaking above reproach.

She asked if I was bored, and I said yes. This may or may not end up with actual, say, work. You know, useful work that does work things.

I'm still angry about this. I should look for a new job, but honestly, if they'd give me enough to do here, it wouldn't be a problem, because the work I do get I enjoy. I like testing. I like creating new procedures. I like doing useful things. How this has escaped anyone when I ask regularly for something to do is a mystery.

You know, I do not feel better writing that, but am tempted to get my evaluations, my stats, and my project list and drop it on her desk on Monday. Not sure I want this mood to pass.

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So, my mouth dropped when I read this because I would have instantly said, "Excuse me?" to make sure I had heard right.

I dunno about internet arguments, all that came to mind was I could say "Graphs suck" but it wouldn't get past me getting to graphs are stupid... because they really, really aren't.

Graphs are holy and awesome. I, too, would have problems arguing that.

Yeah, my Friday, not fun. Grrr.

(Deleted comment)
I am, and thinking what else i want to do. It's so frustrating.

My deepest, deepest sympathies. I was once told by a boss that she thought I A) didn't like to learn, and B) didn't take joy in my work.

On the first, I was just dumbfounded. Anyone who's known me for more than an hour knows better than that. I don't want to learn programming because I've tried and tried and I suck at it and it sucks my soul out through my toes, but not wanting to learn one thing (which wasn't, as it happened, actually necessary for my job) doesn't equal not wanting to learn. And on the second, well, in all honesty I could have taken more joy in my work if my boss and her husband, my other boss, hadn't spent four or five hours a week in her office with the door closed having screaming arguments about work.

I was angry about that for a year or more. And six months after that conversation, I had a new job. My current coworkers think I'm awesome. I don't like the work itself quite as much, but the actual job is a thousand times better.

Oh man. That would drive me crazy, too. So. Very. Much. My sympathies and awesome you found a better job!

am tempted to get my evaluations, my stats, and my project list and drop it on her desk on Monday.

That sounds like a good idea, actually.

*sighs* It would probably set off worse, but it would feel good.

She was really being a dick. I hate people who pull that kind of crap.

It's so annoying. Thank you.

an online argument with someone


Black or Green.

Take your stance. I'm bi-olive and I can go to the mat for either!


Re: an online argument with someone

...I like both, sadly. Dammit.

Wow, that's, um, wow.

OTOH, it was nice to have you on my side on the great "Just tell me where the frack you're registered in the invite, 'k?" debate.

Those discussions sometimes scare me. Registries, of all things.

I'm happy to start any argument you'd like. Just state the cause and the position I'm supposed to be taking, and I will cheerfully tell you all the ways in which that position is superior!

'Cause I'm a loving friend like that.

Aww. This is why I no longer talk about you behind your back!

Hee! You're good like that. *g*

You sound like it's time for something new.

I am beginning to wonder. I wanted a full two years before moving on so I could have the expertise, but seriously, at this rate, I'm not going to get expertise.

Is there any way you can do the work you're enjoying, but somewhere else?

Because if so, it seems like you could shop yourself around and let another company offer you more money to keep you a bit busier.

When I finish my degree, probably? But the money actually *is* very good and the insurance is fantastic. Be it what it is, public service makes up in benefits what it lacks in salary.

then she ended up saying she rather thought I liked doing nothing.

::Sigh.:: I had a boss like that, once. I was at home for six weeks, having broken my right ankle and had it surgically renovated (with a plate and seven, count 'em, seven screws; isn't orthopedic surgery just like carpentry?). Out of the goodness of my heart, and to spare my very small consulting firm the inconvenience of being entirely without me during this period, I offered to handle whatever work I could from home. [I also agreed to accept a pro-rated salary during this period, based on however many hours I spent working; it was not until later that I discovered that this is against the wage and hour laws, and that if a salaried worker puts in even a single hour during a pay period, that worker must be paid the full salary for the period. After I quit I threatened to sic the dogs of war government on my sleazeball boss, and he coughed up the rest of the dough.]

Anyway, my boss had the gall to call me one day and question whether I was really getting any work done at all, or if I was just "on the couch eating bonbons." The clear implication was that I was using my injury as an excuse for a lovely vacation.

Now, anyone who has ever broken a lower extremity knows that during the healing process it is a major effort just getting through the normal activities of daily living. You're dragging your traumatized body around, via crutches and, in my case, wheelchair, you're unbalanced because of the cast, you have to think about the logistics of everything. Going to the bathroom becomes a major excursion. By the time I'd gotten up, taken my sponge bath at the kitchen sink, gotten dressed, and had some breakfast, I needed a nap. Yes, I was doing maybe two hours of work a day, but I manifestly was NOT enjoying a lovely vacation the rest of the time. And if my idiot boss, who did not even send flowers from the office until three weeks into this minor ordeal, had even once come to visit me, he would have understood that. (Or not. About some things, he really was an idiot.) Eight years later, and I'm still steamed; it was not THE reason I quit three months after my return to the office, but it was one factor in the decision.

Accusations of laziness aren't easy to forget, or to forgive--the bigger problem is that if a boss somehow develops that attitude about you, it's tough to overcome the impression, no matter how hard you work. Kinda a no-win scenario. Maybe time to look for a new job?

*shudders* Okay, that sucks so much. That would ahve driven me nuts.

Was this your direct supervisor? If so, are they, perchance, blind? And if so -- get him / her a therapy dog, who will keep coming over to you every time you're doing work, which will mean your supervisor-creature will be there all the time.

I am thankful that the last non-academic job I had they did not pull -that- one at least, even though where everyone else spent most of the time goofing off (which we could all -see- one another doing, 'cause glass cubicles amplifying and reflecting all their conversations all the time). Supervisor just thought I had too high an opinion of myself for doing my job when I was, you know, being paid to do my job.

Previous job I left after being told I needed "...to learn how to say 'yes ma'am' and leave the room."

I'm with them. start hunting. You have BA? they'll take you to wrangle hs students...

*g* My BA is in progress. Part of the reason I liked this job was that it segued into what I was doing in class with program testing, so it was extremely convenient that what I was doing at work and in class had overlap. Now, it's--less so.

If you want to be ultra-amazingly-kind (and have an extra cup of super-strength denial handy) you could say she was saying that you were someone who was so busy that maybe you'd like a break. You would still have to qualify this with "And she's amazingly bad at saying this."

To which people would say, "Yeah. REALLY bad at this. Are you nuts?"

So really, probably not worth it. It'd use up all your kindness, drain all the denial you need to get through the workweek, and probably create some kind of karmic anomaly that would result in paperwork for some guy who doesn't need the drama.

Currently I am imagining out elaborate scenarios where I emerge the victor of a long and bitter battle where everyone bows before me and offers me e-congrats and possibly worship.

I do that all the time. Then I never do it because, well, i can't write it out as good as it sounds in my head. or something else.

Work = Suck. Maybe you should have just been like, "Well, just learning from example." Or some other witty "your a shitty boss" comment.

I'm lucky that I have never had that problem. I think that's because when working in a kitchen for so long, I have learned to stop asking and just doing whatever I think needs to be done. Then telling people what I am doing and then suggesting other things that need to be done.

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