Seperis (seperis) wrote,

  • Mood:

other things

I'm having a day where I really want to get in an online argument with someone. Preferably over something both stupid and something I am totally totally right about. Currently I am imagining out elaborate scenarios where I emerge the victor of a long and bitter battle where everyone bows before me and offers me e-congrats and possibly worship.

I occasionally write entire ranty entries that I don't post--instead, I consign them to MSWord to be forgotten, because sometimes it is just as satisfactory to write it out and save it without posting. It's soothing. All the textual satisfaction without the inevitable byproduct of online explosions.

However, the proliferation of lj comms that I follow that aren't fannish are bringing out a lot more of my latent sarcasm than I'd thought was still active.

At work, I got in mild trouble, which you would think wouldn't relate to the above, but I hate being lectured for something I didn't do and it doesn't help that I was in a bad mood anyway with my cubicle continuing to lack electricity and network access (both of which I am getting with the help of extension cords from other cubicles now). She asked why I hadn't had the bright idea of an extension cord before (because they said the electrician was going to fix it. I will happily rewire my cube if that's what you really want, though; I looked up cubicle design and can print out the blueprints. Give me tools, please), then she ended up saying she rather thought I liked doing nothing.

Yeah, that went well.

In five years, every time my supervisors have had the authority to give me a bonus, they have, which is three out of five years. Every. Damn. Time. I've had to recut my own resumee because I couldn't cover all the projects I used to do, supervise, or create. I carry a folder to interviews with the rest of it. In testing, I finish all my first draft scenarios within the first week. I have never, ever been less than excellent at my job.

I had to stop and blink slowly, because here if not elsewhere, I'll point out; I am never less than excellent at what I do. I am lazy and I get bored easily, and sure, I blow off all kinds of stuff when I feel like it, but I can, because I'm good at my job and I've been called up for a lot of things, but the quality of my work and my ethic are freaking above reproach.

She asked if I was bored, and I said yes. This may or may not end up with actual, say, work. You know, useful work that does work things.

I'm still angry about this. I should look for a new job, but honestly, if they'd give me enough to do here, it wouldn't be a problem, because the work I do get I enjoy. I like testing. I like creating new procedures. I like doing useful things. How this has escaped anyone when I ask regularly for something to do is a mystery.

You know, I do not feel better writing that, but am tempted to get my evaluations, my stats, and my project list and drop it on her desk on Monday. Not sure I want this mood to pass.
Tags: jenn's life, work
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