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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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it's way too early for psychological warfare
Dear LJ,

NOT FUNNY. If I wanted to experience powerful withdrawal symptoms, I'd get addicted to heroin and then go to recovery like anyone with sense. Livejournal a.) does not have the same sex appeal as drug addiction, b.) will not do much for a heartwarming Lifetime movie of the week about my life and tragic times, or c.) will not lead to a latex allergy. Granted, the third one is a positive--go Livejournal!--but you really can't work with the other two. Plz to be not stressing me.

Also Your Fault: creepypasta will be giving me nightmares for the next thousand years.


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*finds covers to hide beneath*

*pats your head and hands you a brownie*

The creepypasta link kind of disappointed me. From the name I thought it was a blog for food photography gone wrong...

I am very easily creeped out.

Though man, that would be an awesome blog.

Yeah. I remember visiting a site once that had scans from a vintage cookbook that were like a gallery of horrors, only with more jello in the most inappropriate places.

(I tried to post this earlier, but I think LJ burped.)

The Gallery of Regrettable Food?

I so have to show these to my partner - she's a chef with a sick sense of humor.

YES. That's it. I tried finding it through google by searching with combinations of awful, jello, cookbook, horror and the like but somehow it didn't come up. I thoroughly traumatized myself though by looking at similarly awful recipe cards, like the ones on these pages:
the "crust salmon shortcake" looks like the aftermath of an alien deathray... Though it might be topped by the "tuna delight salad mold" here:
that combines a layer salty layer of tuna and some stuff (like mayonaise, peppers and eggs) in gelatine with a sweet cucumber/pineapple jello layer.

You know, if I wasn't allergic to fish, I'm betting my partner would try to make some of these. *shudder*

Eep. Though I'm sure there are fish-free horrors as well. Like the one described in this blog post where a brave soul attempted to recreate retro food recipes, Jellied Bouillon with Frankfurters:

I'm far from a food snob, and actually not even opposed to putting things in aspic (I mean, personally I'm vegetarian so I use the algae stuff for it, but in principle it's the same.) but the flavor combinations are just so odd. And some things really aren't getting any better by being put in jello form. I mean, sausages with eggs and celery in some sort of gravy is somewhat odd, but maybe edible, but to mold the gravy solid is just gross.

There are some things I just can't make myself eat, most related to the texture of whatever the thing is. Solid gravy? Not the top of the list, but high. Really, the only fats-on-meats type things I can stand to eat are bacon, and this wonderful little duck thing E made for me once. Aspic? If mixed in with a pate, possibly. Otherwise, I just can't do it.

I'm reminded of this one website I ran across years ago focusing on horrifying food from around the world. Usually horrifying because of taste and/or ingredients, but some were fail for appearance.

ETA: Found it: The Ultimate Bad Candy Website, and also turned up a page listing off Horrifying and Vintage Food Links.

Edited at 2008-10-27 07:21 pm (UTC)

Sometimes I'm equally disturbed by the perfect looking food in contemporary food photos, though. There is something sinister about the artful arrangements. And some food that looks really bad actually tastes good. I mean, I don't eat it anymore because I'm vegetarian, but Labskaus (when not doctored into more appetizing food photo arrangements) looks exactly like vomit (like in this realistic picture), and yet it is quite tasty, and I loved it when I still ate meat.

Thank you for letting me know it's not just me LJ has been fucking with for the past few days. I tried to tell it I was in a committed relationship, but it just won't listen. If all of this is just so it can put the little "Undead Journal" header on things, I'm going to be pissed.

I will also be deeply unamused.

God, I hate you. -> Creepypasta

*crawls under covers and clings to stuffed Eeyore* Jesus, now I don't want to write papers for school, or BREATH!!!

Sleeping under the bed tonight wiht pound puppy is my bright idea. Maybe for the next year or so.

Heading home for the night. You can bet your ass I'm chaining my dog to the bed with me after reading some of those stories. *snorts*

Under the bed? You sure hun? That's a classic 'portal to the underworld' location. Of course, if we're talking 'Darkness Falls' then yeah, go under the bed. After all, it's so much scarier when the tooth fairy can reach down and grab you rather than up. (To this day I can't sleep with the door closed.)

I love the creepypasta!!! Kc_anathema does posts every now and then that has gotten me hooked on them. I have a sick sense of humor and find them immensely amusing!
Sharing them with my roommate is....interesting results ^_~

I've seen that a lot of people have been having issues with LJ, luckily I haven't....yet.

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