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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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my spam is better than your spam
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
This is the most awesome Nigerian email scam letter ever, as it is set in London in Shrewsbury--Shrewsbury!--and is about orphans.

I love my spam sometimes.



From: Lady Rebecca Thatcher.
No:36 Old Shrewberry Street,
London England.

Beloved,

I am Lady Rebecca Thatcher, suffering from cancerous ailment.I used to be
married to Sir Jeremy Thatcher an English man who is dead and resting
peacefully. My husband was into private practice all his life before he
passed.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of Twenty
Million Pounds (20,000,000.00 Million Great Britain Pounds Sterling),which
were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with
his bank here in UK.Presently, this money is still with the Bank.

Recently,my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the
cancerous problems I am suffering from.Though what bothers me most is the
stroke that I have in addition to the cancer.With this hard reality that
has befallen me, I have decided to donate this funds to you and want you
to use this gift which comes from my late husbands hard work to fund the
upkeep of widows, widowers,orphans,destitute,the down-trodden, physically
challenged children,barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely
handicapped financially.I took this decision because I do not have any
child that will inherit this money.

My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation.Please assure me
that you will act just as I have stated herein. Hope to hear from you
soon. You can contact me through my personal email address

[email addy was here]

Stay Blessed as you carry out this humanitarian task.

Sincerely yours

Lady Rebecca Thatcher.



The best part was the barren-women. Really.
Tags:


Bwah! No, my favourite part is the way they say 'million' three times when trying to convey that it is shit loads of cold hard cash, yo. 'Twenty
Million Pounds (20,000,000.00 Million Great Britain Pounds Sterling)'

So... how much was that?

Also, 'who is dead'. Woe! She just had to rip that bandaid off, huh?

It's all very tragic and wealthy. *wipes tear*

He was into private practice. Like being into BDSM or something.

*snicker*

Well, only one of them doesn't have a safeword. *g*

OMG awesome scam.

*runs to SPAM mailbox to see if she got one too*

IS IT NOT? I FEEL SO HAPPY.

I love how she specifies that her dead husband is resting peacefully. None of that inappropriate zombie activity on Lady Rebecca Thatcher's watch, thankyouverymuch.

I do like the emphasis. Just in case anyone was worried about how his remains were feeling.

I love that terminal cancer isn't enough--what bothers her the most is "the stroke that [she has]." Way to lay it on thick, Lady Rebecca.

I was hoping for smallpox. *sighs*

(Deleted comment)
...oh beautiful. *awed*

Oooh! I'm 'genuinely handicapped financially'! Gimme! *g* Deserves points for the bad grammar alone. Lovely spam.

Beautifully bad. But she's an aristocrat! See the name?

I got that one too this morning. It sounded so refined. Not just "Shrewberry". "OLD Shrewberry."

You know those fakers hanging out at New Shrewberry and all. Posers, all of them.

lol...So she is having a stroke currently? How nice of her to take the time to finish writing the email.

THINK OF THE BARREN-WOMEN!

ROTFLMAO
I got a variation on this once and laughed so hard.

Barren-women indeed. *L*

What are they barin? And would I want to see it?

I am curious about how to identify the people I should help. Advertising for the barren-women and down-trodden. Hmm.

OMG it's from Becky Thatcher. Where's Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer?

I didn't even realize that! IT ALL MAKES SENSE. This is Huck's idea!

I am the barren-woman, gives to me this monies, please, in British Pounds Sterling? Yes?

I'm sorry, you do not seem barren enough. Plz to be providing documentation and also, bribes.

Aw man, now I'm jealous! I didn't get that one, and I'd love to support the orphans and barren-women...

And the down-trodden, too, although I am somewhat at a loss as to how I will identify these individuals! LOL

I am wondering about that myself....

I never get awesome spam. My spam is normally offering me Viagra or a Masters degree for 5 bucks. Which is a pretty tempting offer ;).

I like that he's dead and resting peacefully. That's one of those phrases that I look at and think, OK, one or the other, really, but then I think, well, no, if being dead means you can rest peacefully, maybe what they're saying is that he's dead and they chose to let him rest in peace, as opposed to lashing him to a merry-go-round for all eternity. Something like that.

Have you seen the Princess Leia Nigerian spam letter? It's quite good (though apparently just a big dumb fake, and not like this letter that is certain to net you millions of millions).

I went to more of an indulgence place

"We know he's resting peacefully because we mortgaged the servants' quarters to the Church to pay off his time in Purgatory..."