(Still did not read House of Leaves, but scared self badly enough to sleep in living room. No, go ahead and mock. I mean, really. That was just sad.)
I am tempted to go seek out that cat-bowels-related coffee. I mean, I know it's like, the equivalent of throwing money in the air to watch it burn after covering it in waste, but--I'm curious!
More pearls of wisdom like above later.
ETA: grammarwoman posted a link to this about the Russian friend bots if you're curious.
ETA 2: Make that seven spams. *sighs*
ETA 3: Eight spam all in a row.