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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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nothing short of ennui
children of dune - leto 1

Okay, what weirds me out about this site is that it sounds so over the top. It does, yet if you have ever worked customer service, every so often you read one and think, oh, God. I remember that.

Take this one:

Once a long time ago, or like, a year and a half, I was on the phone when our fire alarm went off. There's no way to tell between testing and real, and frankly, I do not care. I do not like fire when applied to my skin.

The chick I was on the phone with--and the alarm in the building is not subtle, and I held up the phone just in case--would not get off the phone. I don't remember the conversation, mostly because of near-potential-death and irritation, but it was pretty much that surreal.


A perky scientist came on the science channel to talk about how time travel is totally possible, leading to an escalating argument with one's eleven year old on the nature of dark matter (this did not come standard in the parenting manual and I did not have time to wiki; guess who won that argument). It is not fun to be pwned. He's grounded from working at CERN, which I added to grounded from not working on the Mars landing.

My parental thrills are cheap and easy.

My other option is the next perky scientist that does this, I will write down his/her name and when Child is in need of interning somewhere, that is where he will go. I can think of no worse punishment for anyone, unless it is waking up to Child saying "Mom, it was just an experiment, okay?" I still don't know what that's about. And you know what? Until such a time as it is forced upon me? I am totally not going to go find out. Denial is my friend.


I need to make a list. Of what, I don't know, but lists always soothe me. I feel extremely unsoothed.
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I'm sure there are things you don't tell us about Child that may change my mind but every time I read your posts about him, I can only hope my future children are as cool as he is.

I read this right after reading the synopsis for the next Eureka episode:

"Here Come the Suns" Tuesday September 16 at 9/8C
Zoe's science partner — oops! — inadvertently creates a second sun. Carter and Zane can destroy the fiery orb but they need an incredible degree of protection to get close enough.

Are you sure Child doesn't commute realities between this world and Eureka's?

MissHamill LOVES that site, since she worked in retail for a year (and that had the wonderful benefit of motivating the hell out of her for college).

Did you see this one? http://notalwaysright.com/liar-liar-pants-on-fire/1176

So I always read and am amused by your posts, but you always have so many comments I'm intimidated.

...anyway. My 17 year old brother called my mother outside the other day so she could watch him hold a match to a balloon filled with nitrogen, which naturally resulted in a super-cool explosion. She wondered how he got nitrogen to fill a balloon. Obviously, he performed a chemical reaction in the kitchen with standard household supplies that gave off the gas for him to then collect with his balloon.

Perhaps you have such things to look forward to.

...ohmygod. I can see this happening!

Though I am comforted it seems everyone survived. *still afraid*

I love that site. When I first found it I laughed myself nearly to death reading all the stories.

They actually accepted the account of a customer I had. \o/

You know, by the time Child reaches the level of Adult, he's going to be grounded from so many different projects and science companies that he'll probably start his own. Which will involve, cloning, reptiles, and probably robots.

.... Is it to early to send him my resume?

I've just spent several hours of my (admittedly, not exactly busy) life reading through that whole site. I'm off to lie down in a darkened room and despair for the future of humanity.

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