Seperis (seperis) wrote,

right. five.

I remember five, but I want to reframe it.

5.) I have very little about my real life I'd be uncomfortable sharing with my flist under lock, and not that much that I don't have public. I honestly am that boring. But while I can work one way, bring my flist into my real life, I don't like doing it the other way around.

I think this reticence hit me as something I was doing consistently and by choice when the open source boob thing hit and I was with some people, still going over a post I'd read in my head, and someone asked me--you know, I don't even know, what was going on, blah blah blah. But I didn't even think to answer it with what had happened. I don't even know if I actually told something that could pass for being true.

I have absolutely no idea why that divide occurred; I didn't even know I was doing it.

My three oldest and closest friends don't have half the context for anything I do or say that a casual surfer into this lj would, and that's weird. There's also this really uncomfortable suspicion that I may actually act completely differently with them than I do with say, anyone I've met online as far as self-editing goes, because I lose a lot of normal interact filters with people who know I'm curious about how certain sexual positions work and inappropriate lube choices. I'm not even talking about performance art LJ--I mean, I wonder if I dragged any of them to a con with me, if we'd even be able to talk.

You know, this is really my own fault. I need more coffee. Existential identity crises do not occur when something with the word "mocha" in the name is being sipped.

I'm half wanting to ask if anyone else thinks about this, but I'm kind of worried about a resounding silence. That does, in fact, mean I would like validation, please. Thank you kindly.
Tags: meme: about me
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