Seperis (seperis) wrote,

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child in review

Amazon, in a cheering turn of events, emailed me to cancel my order for Breaking Dawn so as to reorder it and get it on Saturday. This is pleasing to me in a variety of ways, not least of which is I get to have my fix of Epic Teenage Vampire Romance conveniently on Saturday evening.

I'm weirdly apathetic today. Granted, it's been an exciting week and all, which makes sense, but there's also a dim feeling of "do something".

However, in Daily Oversharing.

How to Torture Eleven Year Old Fanboy Sons Who Won't Give Back Your DVDs

1.) Flatten his hair down when he isn't paying attention, remark how much he looks like Kowalski in Asylum.

2.) Tell him he's grounded from participating in the Mars mission in 2025.

3.) Tell him you're not sure about Jacks' feelings for Ianto.

4.) Tell him Buffy doesn't like dinosaurs.

How He Will Enact Revenge

1.) Calls you to the living room saying his stomach hurts during the part in Anaconda 3 where that guy is being eaten by the snake.

2.) Announces he wants to become a Republican.

3.) Comes into your room every five minutes to show you a new balloon he's filled with a different not-air substance while you are reading porn. Specifically, stuff involving whips and some kind of electrical device.

4.) Continues to deny knowledge of where dS season two is, despite the fact the box is on his desk sans disks.


Most recently, he wants to get a myspace. My sister has one for her eldest daughter (age six) that is locked to family and close friends. My entire family is on myspace, including ex-BIL, ex-BILs ex-gf's, my other sister, her ex-boyfriend, and a variety of people who make me faintly nervous. Which is why I am here and never ever there.

So he wants a myspace. I ignored him due to a.) age restrictions and b.) there really isn't anyone in his age group on there and c.) the layout offends my aesthetics in so many ways. The third time he asked, I finally cut a deal--he would bring me notes from the parents of his friends that had the kids' usernames and permission, and I'd set him one up. I'm curious if he'll follow through with it when school starts. I'm not entirely sure he actually wants one--I get the feeling this is the beginning of a bargaining session of some kind.

He has also been banned from a small local amusement park for crashing bumper cars. To say I am proud is an understatement. This is mostly because apparently, my offspring shares my lack of grace and my ability to crash into things. I mean, there was a reason my frat tried very hard to give me the official nickname of crash.

Very apathetic. I'm even listening to A Perfect Circle and I got nothing.
Tags: child
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