(ETA: Ah. It's my period. That explains the half-pound chocolate bar I had to buy and the beef jerky I'm consuming by the bag. Okay, probably four to eight days, then, before zen is reacheived.)
However. The Mystery of the Feet is bothering me on a variety of levels. Mostly due to this:
- There is no evidence that any of the first four feet were forcibly removed.
I'm sorry. I must have missed this part of biology, where feet do indeed resemble Bratz characters. What does that even mean they weren't forcibly removed? They walked away from their legs? No fault divorce? Sudden, inexplicable, religion-creating immaculate feet birth (complete with cross-trainers?). How in the name of God do feet disattach without assistance? I mean, basically, are they saying six feet (just one of a pair, like what, there was a foot flamewar and one flounced in a way that's exceedingly unusual) randomly rotted off their attached leg (ewww) and then went for a cool swim? Without the other foot (see flamewar)? Or a rash of one legged people in running shoes died and their feet all decomposed together, or--
--or really. Really. I understand investigation in progress, but this feels like the beginning of a very strange fantasy novel where someone, somewhere, is doing some kind of obscure human sacrifice and oh! Oh! This would totally be an Anita Blake thing. Totally. With feet. Zombie feet.
Oh wow, what if these are zombie feet? Rock on.
And that concludes my creepy theory on the feet. I shall now continue my mild and uninteresting sulk about the universe not bending to my will and abuse of parentheses for fun and confusion.