Seperis (seperis) wrote,

  • Mood:

vaguely in the azure spectrum

It's not blues per se so much as the end of writingfarr (I am totally appropriating vidder words), which technically I know is a good thing, since it's very very exhausting to feel like you were secretly given amphetamines and all your dreams end up having subplots when you couldn't even prove before they had plots.

..subplots. Seriously, brain. Not a good show.

But technically means I am no longer high on my own lack of sleep and an endorphin hit, nor is there cackling, nor can I taunt amireal, nor can I any longer blow off the question of plausibility.

I hate this question. I hate it the way that dryers love socks. Destructively and with hysterical denial. Because honestly--to write something, you have to tell plausibility to fuck itself. And not just real life plausibility, either. Fictional plausibility. Because books can be a lot less believable than real life the more they reflect it.

I mean, I don't care--I have Teyla and a Care Bear making out in my livejournal right now, plausible is not even in my zip code--but I also think there's a lot to be said for a story that embraces its own unrelenting earnestness. It is funny to read stories that have impossible/cliched/etc plotlines, and the characters share the writer's (and reader's) disbelief and self-aware mockery and still go through it. Sometimes, though, it feels like cheating, like being able to have your cake and eat it too.

...okay, wait. I'm talking about crack now, aren't I?

Someone in my lj was mulling the range of SGA fic (we come in peace; we are a happy fic people; we like porn; unfortunately, we write about porn with my childhood. let's not speak of this again. I hate you all). I wasn't sure at the time, but thinking on it, I wonder if our range of fic type and genre has been shifted to the lighter side due to the fact we tend to strip out the risk of other people thinking we are taking something other people might think is stupid to take seriously. We use the word 'crack'.

Parse that one. Er, really. I'm not sure what I just said. But I mostly know what I mean. I'm thinking about the fact that when I posted Story of a Girl, actually, the thing I worried about most was someone would say I was writing a genderswitch wrong (which, as it turns out, I was, go figure), writing the character wrong, writing the cliche wrong, writing a woman wrong. I never used crack in the posts it was made it, but I did before, because that was a risk I wasn't ready to take. Sure, I'll write it, but I won't claim it, and that's problematic. And not a little hideously uncomfortable. It was a risk I didn't quite want to take. And I'm not even sure who I was so afraid of.

You see why I am azure. I could be writing obscure Bourne porn right now.
Tags: fandom
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