Don't Be That Guy by synedochic - I'll quote below because summarizing won't cut it.
And I pulled that together, and I thought about a dear friend of mine, who is -- genuinely and with all sincerity -- one of the Good Guys, someone who understands the fact that he has straight white male privilege even if he doesn't always spot it in action in the wild. We were talking about privilege (in another context, before this blew up), and he said something I found really sad -- not that it makes me sad about him, but sad about the society -- which was (paraphrased) that he knows he has this privilege and he doesn't want to fumble around and make things worse for people by accidentally displaying it. So he stays out of those conversations, because he doesn't want to impose and make people uncomfortable. Which I think is an admirable attitude, really (because, you know, not making things worse is a pretty good starting point). But he's scared that he's going to accidentally be That Guy, and he says that he knows some of the things that would make him into That Guy but not all of them, and he really, really, really doesn't want to trip over one of the others.
But all of this input came together, and I think I'm finally ready to take a stab at this. I'm going to try to articulate the concept of That Guy, as I see it. Disclaimers and my epic longwindedness behind the cut.
It's--well, amazing at articulating a lot of what's hard to articulate; how do you explain a feeling or an instinct, quantify an exchange you know felt wrong and aren't sure why? It's hard to do.
Anyway. I'm still thinking about it; it's good stuff.
ETA: (this happens *every time* I post a link. I find another one!)
When You Take The Fun Out, They're Just Bags - I am going to express my glee in quotes:
I gotta say this about nerds. They're ingenious little bastards. Out of the core raw ingredients of desperation, fetishism, and limited worldview, they are able to create completely new and innovative areas of Dumb. They are the MacGyvers of stupidity. They are, quite literally, idiot savants.
The only way it could possibly be more awesome is if the word 'veritable' was placed before McGyvers. And that's just because I like the word veritable and feel strongly we should use it more. Read it all.