books to make my flist's heads explode: John Ringo by hradzka - what I need here is a new language to express my feelings.
Let me illustrate: last night, I had to stop reading every few paragraphs, because I was laughing so hard I was crying and unable to see the screen. At eleven at night, my son comes to my bedroom door with a dark look. I wiped my eyes shakily and hid the words Also, to take care of the trainers' needs, he brings in whores. LOOK, I TOLD YOU. HE ADOPTS THEM. LIKE CATS. while he peered at me hatefully from under dark blond bangs and said, "You woke me up."
I said, "I--" And continued to laugh. On the way out, he pointedly closed the door behind him. Let me just say, I will be suffering for that when I send him to bed tonight. It is so totally worth it.
From the author's review:
Yes, you will be horrified by a lot of this, because Mike Harmon's adventures are by turns awesomely horrific and horrifically awesome; I freely confess that I cannot stop reading these books, because *I have to see what Ringo does next.* I do, however, have a finely-tuned defense mechanism: whenever something trips my circuit breaker, causing me to cringe away from the page, I utter aloud a cry that resets my noggin. You will probably need it yourself, so I provide it here, as a public service: "OH JOHN RINGO NO."
This is 7695 words (yes, I word counted this after) of a book review that smashes all other book reviews. You are on top of the glass here people. You will feel feelings you never knew you had. You will re-read several paragraphs several times to make sure what you read is, indeed, what you read. Even though I will tell you now--yes. The first time, you read it right. You really did. But go ahead and do it again.
Awesome. Really freaking disturbing. As the reviewer states, this is Lord King Bad Vid of the novel world. I only suggest when you read, make sure it's nowhere you can hit your head when you sit up abruptly (eighty or so times) yelling those four words.
Oh John Ringo, no!