Seperis (seperis) wrote,

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because its fascinating to think about

Life, Work, and Everything
I feel deeply moody today. Not quite emo--more popcorn and hot chocolate in bed while reading Dan Savage and old fandom wank wanks while I mull the universe. I never consider this particularly healthy--any period of time burning through snark comms en masse feels like the mental equivalent of eating a lot, lot, lot of sugar. I always come out of it faintly cynical and oversensitized to stupidity.

Argh. I can't even write. My head's filled with functions and cout statements and pointers and I gave myself a headache reworking one of my own programs into All Classes, All the Time.

I keep thinking in terms of addresses and databases searches and if I could build an array-based static search engine for my website for practice. Which would be a lot of work for little return--who on earth would use it? Why?--but it's an intriguing theoretical problem. Of course, I have no idea how to use C++ with a web interface, but I think I can translate it to Perl or Javascript if I got that far.

It's almost a controlled outcome experiment in how other people think; I want to see if I can anticipate by keyword what they'd look for in a way that is deeply inflexible; it would basically be a very complex non-random game of rock, paper, scissors--given ten keywords for them to choose to describe the story, did I guess it correctly?

I have never felt more boring. It's actually worse than that; I'm no longer restricting my random programming questions to people who, say, know what I'm talking about. No, I throw it out at anyone in range.

I think the problem is, I'm unhappy, but I'm not sure why. I mean, not in a life-sucks sense, but in a dopamine deprivation sense. And a tired sense. And a frustration sense. And a non-writing sense. I can't--settle on a single thought. Even knowing this happens pretty regularly--like the ADD version of writer's block, but instead of nothing being there, it's like a bottleneck of too much so nothing comes through--it's irritating.

So instead. Something else.

Here, In this Place
dalaire asks here:

Why in the world does someone wander onto a fanfic site on a rec and click into the last chapter of the fanfic first? Do they expect to understand more about the entire plot by getting clued in on the ending? In an A/U? o_0

My answer below the cut from her lj, expanded.

1.) I've read the story already and the ending gives a quicker refresher of events to see if I'm in the mood to re-read it--in other words, is this the story that was awesome and made me happy or awesome and made me cry? This is a big thing with OTP authors who write like, six supernovels or an OTP (or fandom) with a lot of novels or supernovels. Like HP? I've read enough that when I'm reading for mood, I have to double check adn make sure, yes, this isn't the one where x character actually dies tragically right after the wedding.

2.) I don't entirely trust the author's summary or (if applicable) warnings. One used to have a bad habit of dropping a torture scene into the middle of a fic, randomly. Or another pairing, really randomly. Or character bashing. *Really randomly*. Or--you get the idea. If I'm in the mood for it, yes, but if I was reading OTP only happy, and the author is known for several types, even pairing codes and warnings aren't enough.

This one makes me laugh--except for pairing switch, I am this kind of author. Part of it is just carelessness, but the actual start point of my warning carelessness is the fact I don't post anywhere but my webpage and livejournal. Lists--I never would have dreamed of skipping pairing codes, spoiler codes, warnings, ratings--but that was when I was sending my fic to someone else's house. In my own house, I'm lazy. I leave chips open on the couch, my socks on the floor, and don't format my headers.

Actually, I think the only thing I warn for is for pairing--my flist is not necessarily single-pairing, but most of them have been reading here for like, over a hundred years and while no, I don't specifically clean the house, I do try to warn them if I move the couch around (or change pairings) so they'll, you know, keep visiting.

And to be fair--I don't warn on Crimes Against Humanity at all because really. The name alone is a pretty good warning.

3.) The really cool part is in the last chapter. *G*

So I'm curious now--anyone else jump to the end of a fic? When and why?

ETA: Also, naps. I need to nap less. Naps do not help. They just make me melancholy.
Tags: jenn's life, meta: fanfic
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