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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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children of dune - leto 1
seperis
Because bexless made me lose the ability to breathe.

Cavemen!CLex. Oh dearest GOD. Yes. This--HYSTERICAL!

And I'll tell her so. RIGHT when LJ lets me post comments again. Becuase I did today! I did! I posted replies and comments and then--it stopped. Bastard.

But anyway.

Still, Eg thought to himself, drawing himself up to his not-yet-fully-erect five foot and two inches, it couldn’t hurt to ask.

“Ug,” said Eg again. When this drew no response, he pointed his purplewood spear at his own chest and said, ‘Eg.”

The creature tilted its head to the side, green eyes shining. “Ug?” it said.

Eg sighed. Definitely an Enng. He pointed the spear at himself again. “Eg,” he said clearly. Then he pointed the spear at the young Enng and made what he thought might be an appropriate noise when attempting to ascertain someone’s identity. “Ooo?”

Ah, a new word. Excellent.

The Enng looked from the spear up at Eg, and bared his – startlingly white – teeth in a not entirely unpleasant manner. “Arg.”

“Arg?” Eg thought it best to make sure it was the creature’s name, and not simply a new vowel-syllable combination essential to the evolution of mankind’s spoken language.


Makes you just want to run out and find some nice Neanderthals to nail, hmm?

*grins* Maybe not. Unless they are Eg-ian.

Recs -- the Te Collection

*thinks* She keeps blaming me for one of these.

Rhetoric by Te, who is, in fact, an actual fic crack dealer. Am I really interested in going back to X-Men after all this time? Noooo. Well. *thinks* Maybe. It's JOHNNY! And God, is he hot. And he thinks WAY too much.

Sugar and Spice. Oh dearest GOD. Poor Logan-ette. Yes, you read that right. And really, you have to read it more than once.

*still laughing*

Float by Te. Oh hell yes. Oh HELL YES. And oh GOD yes.

*clears throat* You know. Read it. *nod*

Recs -- The Helen Collective

I meant to do a long entry about Rivka's latest, but it turned into a kind of weird fangirl essay comparing Rivka to some recent saints and not a few famous courtesans, and well. You know? I'm willing to be abjectly devoted, but it just gets creepy when you're mooning how wonderful someone's vowel constructions are. So. *g* We'll save that one for when I feel more shameless.

Instead, other stories.

Adding to Zero by girlinthetrilby Why Helen? Well, apparently, here's an answer to teh question. Wow.

And....

The Reckoning by latxcvi. Because watching Lex get revenge? It IS that good. Talk about some serious, serious catharsis. *shivers* That was GOOD for me.

Recs -- Other

Boys Don't Cry by aelita Awhile back, I swore off of anything that broke up the boys. Yes, I know, stupid resolution, and I'm glad I broke it because I would have missed THIS. Wonderful Clark POV, lovely style, and maybe the exception that proves the rule regarding songfic, if this IS songfic, because this worked in ALL ways. Melancholy and melodic and so sad and so inevitable. Beautiful writing all around.

To Have and To Hold by girlinthetrilby Ahh yes. Oh yes. And damn yes. *happy* Denialfic is JUST the thing! *happy*

More later.

The Spam Report

Okay, here's a thought for would-be spammers. May be difficult to get, since spammers are way down at the bottom of the food chain, right there with militant fundamentalists and people who don't brush their teeth, but let's try. If you want to spam me? DON'T MISSPELL THE SUBJECT LINE.

Just for a thought. Let us compare.

CEE MY BYG PEEENEES!!!!!.??/!

to

SEE MY BIG PENIS!

Let's look at this.

First off, penis the word in itself I don't find sexy. Maybe some do, but well. Penis is just a really weird word. Say it five times fast. When one says penis, I do not think of sex or power or, well, hot, but rather, that is a really weird word. Or I think of anatomical books of sad little penii all curled up on themselves because they are camera shy.

But leaving that aside, I also look for penii to be rather educated. Who wants a dumb, non-sophisticated penis anyway, especially taking up valuable vaginal real estate? Should I be interested in yours, I'd like to think I was getting one of above average, if not well above average, quality and education, and well, that spam? Does not demonstrate this.

Also, big? This is where it gets tricky. I'm sure there are people who want and like giant, invasive penii the size of mountain ranges. Me? Not so much. If it requires some kinds of flexibility exercises and gymnastics to make everything fit? I'm going to get something from the freezer and just watch a movie instead, kay? You and your big penis just go somewhere else. Because, should I so lose my mind as to want an uneducated penis, or an educated one with bad spelling, I would like one that won't require some kind of medical attention afterward.

And even getting beyond that, even should I WANT a penis, to see a penis, or to hang around with one on a casual basis, even if the subject line was a huge fluke and really, that penis mentioned inside is of superior quality and education that was just having a bad day, even IF it's big but not too big? I'm a girl. I want subtle, meaningful, and romantic. There's a reason the romance novel market is so good. I'll mock it to my dying day, but man, you turn on the RIGHT kind of romantic lines? Mmmmm.

Just keep that in mind. Hopefully, this little lesson will improve the quality of my spam.

And no, still not interested in the Britney-look-alike/horse/chicken menage a trois on video. No, really. Promise.

And also? Really tired of the latest virus round. Beyond words to describe.

Bored

I'm as moody as always, but with an added bonus of gripey. I need music recs and I need them NOW. NOW NOW NOW. Something darkish and not to much bass. Moody, though. Think dark and moody and maybe a bit of hopelessness, but not too much.

Yes, I did like Exodus enough not to even try to spellcheck. Now, on any given day, I rarely spellcheck my LJ entries, because I tend to do them in one sitting or relatively fast. Exodus is the case that proves I should, because wow. I counted thirty. If not more. I think. *shudders* Don't tell me if it's over thirty, kay?

I've been thinking about Exodus, and talking the plotline over with people regarding the entire Helen-Lionel-Lex thing.

Here's spoilery thoughts, for those still waiting for Sunday.



When setting up my scenarios on Tuesday, one thing waas pretty clear to me. Lionel's involvement in trying to kill Lex is possibly even more anomalous than Helen's, and that's really saying something, since that came out of extreme left field.

I've speculated before about Lionel wanting Lex dead in a passive kind of way--aka Jitters, Lineage, etc. But. Prodigal, for me, proved that while Lionel would damage Lex a lot, he would not, does not, want his son actually dead-dead. He's evil and sociopathic and quite possibly a little insane, but he has some weird idea that this is a form of love and while I'll buy him doing almost anything else--torture, rape, murder of friends, etc--I don't buy him putting Lex in a plane that will crash into the middle of the ocean.

From a very bizarre, Lionel-standpoint, I see Jitters, and even perhaps Lineage, as Lionelish tests of a sort. While yes, massive danger, also, he had faith in his son's ingenuity, immorality and resourcefulness, and in all of those, it wasn't like he was active in trying to kill Lex. I'd go for very brutal testing pretty comfortably, though he was literally playing serious high-stakes poker with his son's life. Lionel, though, does have a strange belief in his own immortality, in being Luthor means being superior, so there is also the argument that he couldn't imagine his son actually failing.

There's a huge difference between that and a plane going down IN THE OCEAN. ALONE.

I'm still working out my thoughts, but honestly, that was the first thing that came to mind when watching. Lionel could not have done that. There are a thousand ways he could have gotten rid of Lex over the last two years, and Prodigal, at very least, showed that a gun to his head won't make him shoot Lex, so--um. Why would he do this now?

Helen--I won't even start. Though now I have this very strange little scene in mind that would make it still make no sense at all but at least provide me with more fodder to hate her.

See Helen, showing up on the Kents doorstep. Explaining what she did. To protect your son! Helen says. As Lex has the Clarkroom (like a coatroom, one thinks) and he is dangerous blah blah anvil cakes of future evil. Blood stealing! And also, is home late a lot, which is the sign of evil to come, don't you know. And Jonathan making noises about how no one will die for Clark's secret, yadda yadda yadda, and it's a sad, sad little scene.

See? Would be idiotic, but you know? Would be SO not surprised if this is what ends up being the motive.

*sighs* Even I get depressed reading that. As then, yet again, all would be All Lex's Fault.


Working on The Yard and staring at it, because well, it's still up in the air in terms of what I think it should do as opposed to what it apparently wants to do, like, say, have sex now with absolutely no motive or reason. Stupid story.


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Not to rain on your penis parade, but I'm sure that they spelled it wrong to get past spam filters.

That said, it was a very funny rant and I agree with all of it!

*grins* I never thought of that.

Stupid smart spam. *kicks at it*

POUND HER LOVE MUFFIN!!!

I have your music rec right here:

"Rational" by King Cobb Steelie. It's so sexy and great. I like to pimp Canadian bands. Try to download it.

Re: POUND HER LOVE MUFFIN!!!

Thank you!

And that subject line? I choked laughing.

Re: POUND HER LOVE MUFFIN!!!

Good...after I posted it I looked at it and thought "Uh-oh, what if she doesn't get it? Then I just look crazy!" Didya check the song out?

If it requires some kinds of flexibility exercises and gymnastics to make everything fit? I'm going to get something from the freezer and just watch a movie instead, kay? You and your big penis just go somewhere else.
LMAO! You absolutely have to read this.
Asset Management by Lenore

It's hilarious, and has hot Clark/Lex sex. The great fic overmind is at work once more.
-Silverkyst

*gripes* THAT is what I get for not reading immediately. Stupid WiPness. *grrr*

Vowel constructions? I *must* know. Is it strange that I'm not creeped out at all by the whole one-sublevel-below Madonna/whore thing you've got going on?

I just had dinner w/Grifyn & the Big Dog & was telling them how glad I was to finally share a fandom with you. They're funny people, but sadly not writing fanfic these days. Given time, I could probably add them to my Buffy converts list -- I'm like Patient Zero with Buffy -- but I find it hard to pitch SV except to a certain kind of person.

They are VERY intriguing vowel constructions. *nodnodnod*

They're funny people, but sadly not writing fanfic these days. Given time, I could probably add them to my Buffy converts list -- I'm like Patient Zero with Buffy -- but I find it hard to pitch SV except to a certain kind of person.

*nods more* SV is weird to pimp. There's got to be a certain level of masochism in the person you're pimping to, and if they go CLex, it's like double that. My results so far have been--variable. *frowns* Stupid fate thingie.

Or I think of anatomical books of sad little penii all curled up on themselves because they are camera shy.

*sniggers* That's just highly appropriate...

Re: Poor little penii

it's true! I mean, seriously, no one can get turned on by an anatomical book names. Just imagine sex scnees written from that. Just--no. Not the hotness.

*sighs* I really need to stop thinking of stuff like this. Some penis out there is feeling really self-conscious right now. *pets general area where hypothetical penis might be*


I aim to please. *g* Thanks!

*swipes sputtered muffin pieces from screen* Thanks. Excellent rant. Good thing to read first in the morning. I myself find myself tracked down by people who either want to sell me generic viagra or penis-enlargement. Hm. MAybe I should take them on... would be interesting to see how much they can enlarge a non-existing penis. Oh, well...

It never ceases to amaze me how many spam cover penis enlargement and viagra. *shakes head*

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