Seperis (seperis) wrote,
Seperis
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sgareview: midway s4e17

Huh.



To Start With

But I stopped processing when John showed up in his little short-sleeved black uniform looking rakish and then Teal'c, who I never really thought about all that much until I saw him stride through the gate and there was this second of cognitive dissonance that went a lot like this.

Marry me, Teal'c.

Dear God. He--with the arms? And the posturing?

I know there was more to the show, but I mean--what the hell am I supposed to do with that? Teal'c and his arms and his asskickery and his hair with that white streak (I have a thing for that??? Since the hell when???) and John and his gambling and his shooting things--shooting things and hand signals, which I am getting kind of scared? Because I have this awful feeling that there is nothing he could do that would not be hot. Nothing. John sitting? Hot. John snoring? Hot.

Right. There was more here.

Aww

First, Ronon kills me. He's nearly thirty and he's pouting because OMG I DON'T NEED ANY HELP FROM ANYONE and MOM AND DAD ARE BIG MEANIES while John and Sam sigh and wonder, where did we go wrong?

And Teal'c walks in, the essence of serene sexy, looking about him with the calm assurance of knowing that every not-dead person is having a spontaneous Kinsey readjustment. Yes, Teal'c. You just--breathe there. Good.

One one hand, Ronon's reaction is hilarious. On the other, I wanted to slap some sense into him, because seriously, you can wander around with your minimal dress, Me Tarzan shit, but you bagged one doctor and are in the process of hitting SGA medical ass. It's not just your ass on the line here; it's Sheppard's as your commander and Carter as commander of the base and it's every non-Earth human or alien that ever wants to join up at SGA that riding on this. Suck it up. Carter's not Elizabeth and I'm not convinced she'd go to the mat for you like Elizabeth did for Sheppard.

On the other hand: I understand his reaction. It *sucks* he and Teyla have to go through this and I really don't see why they *should* have to. I honestly can't work out what that was supposed to be about--they've been here years and *now* are being called in? I don't like it, but I think it leads to season five shenanigans, so--hmm.

The messhall was adorable, in that way that just weirded me out and charmed me at the same time; Ronon's still pouting about having to wear a tie to the interview while Teal'c sits down and you know, it's not like we all didn't know where that was going. But it was worth it to see Teal'c calmly eating a not-carrot while staring down the barrel of Ronon's gun with serene unconcern, as this is Teal'c and the force of his sexy can ward off guns. Or should. Seriously should.

Sheppard comes in, and you can see it in his eyes, trying to remember Ronon's middle name "Meredith? No. Shirley? Terry? Note: make McKay hack his file again" before having a horrible second of channeling the spirit of his deceased father and ordering Ronon into timeout with Teal'c, because oh my God, kids these days.

Timeouts are a way to contemplate the error of your ways and learn to improve or lie better; however, this is John Sheppard, who as a child doubtless knew every corner of his many childhood houses intimately and you notice didn't do much for him, did it? When faced with two ungodly hot warring guys, The John Sheppard Method of Conflict Resolution calls for ungodly hot man-fighting. And this is why I love John best.

Ronon and Teal'c go after each other with a ferocity that makes one wonder, you know, as one does, how they'll ever negotiate top and bottom (or is that just me?).

I really can't think of anything to say about that. That was magic. That was probably the closest the kids of Atlantis have come to decent porn in a long, long time.

(And of course John organize a betting pool. That just goes without saying.)

Dear Carter,

I totally love you. A lot. And I think you are awesome. But what the hell was that? Why? Why would you stop that? What were you thinking? Why do you hate us all?

You are totally on notice.

no love ever,
me

Midway Place

Since it was kind of inevitable it would go this way, I am only sorry that before the Wraith came, we did not see Teal'c and Ronon go off on each other for top bunk, because then I could have had pleasant prison AU fantasies that involve Shawshank fusions, but oh well. Wraith. That Kavanagh did not die is an eternal sorrow. That Geek Guy Who Seriously Needs To Get Out More didn't die pleases; I like him. I'm used to him. I have not learned his name, so I made one up.

Todd stealing passwords from McKay's laptop.

Okay, one--Jesus, Rodney. Two--wow. It didn't occur to me Rodney wouldn't take precautions. This opens up some nasty possibilities on what Todd got out there besides Rodney's collection of surveillance photos from John's shower (for scientific purposes, because of those statics on accidents in the shower, you understand). Also, Rodney's laptop which I assumed would be the veritable Fort Knox by way of Black Hole level of security.

Not amused, SGA writers. Either Rodney's lost some of his protective paranoia (why???) or this is another Ladon "I Learned Advanced Beyond Human Genetics Practically Overnight" of the Genii or Rodney "Fun with Genii Phonics" McKay or Michael "Insta!Mad Scientist" of the Wraith. Seriously. Stop that shit.

Actually, second problem.

Why the hell do those gates not have irises? You can build a spacestation but not get an iris? Are you fucking with me? Did you need more money for that classy prison chic look? Or more sudoku books? Why?

(I just keep thinking John's actually stealing them when he finishes up with his and leaving them there.)

Done.

Teal'c and Ronon kicking oh so much ass? Hell yes.

Random Aside

Okay, here is where I always just stop and giggle. Carter goes strikeforce and it's like some kind of really bizarre word association, because John's like, sure, best and brightest, eat their meat raw, ready to go McKay?

It's just--it never stops being funny. And funnier, Rodney metamorphoses the second he knows he's under John--er, John's command (Jesus, I'm tired) and he's armed and narrow eyed and not shooting randomly at rats and it's just. So. Damn. Cute.

I know there's a practical reason for him to go along and all, of course there is, but there's also the fact that strikeforce and McKay in the same sentence? Still kills me.

Back to Midway

Threats, blah, dead scientist, blah, John doing sexy Colonel, hell yes. That was good for me. I love when John leads strikeforces and drags Marines along behind him because well, a.) it's very, very hot and b.) a lot of the episodes (and fans) try to overemphasize dork or his single statement in season two saying he didn't want to get into a huge fight because he was lazy and forget he's not there and didn't *keep* that job, nor be recalled every time a Replicator sniffs around Earth because he's pretty. (Seriously. Entire SGC is there and MUST CALL SHEPPARD? Really. Hi, let me bask in this glow of enjoyment.) He's an officer in the Air Force and he's hideously and deliciously competent with many kinds of firearms and disturbingly good at ground fighting for a guy who supposedly spent his life in the air.

Right. Moving on.

I loved Kavanagh still being there to screw up. I think--and this is one of those things that I've always been in disagreement with in fanon--Kavanagh isn't misunderstood and would actually be awesome if everyone (Elizabeth, et al) would just stop being all mean to him. His problem isn't his attitude, though that's enough to put me off; it's that he doesn't have a reason to be. Rodney's pissed me off with that better than thou shit, but he has the talent, the accomplishments, and the pure intellect to back it up. He's like Rodney must have been ten years ago, maybe, but that's ten years ago and I disliked him in 38 minutes and I dislike him just as much now. Gah.

John, he says, and it's still just--wow

Three long years, and then Rodney says it, and now, under stress, it slips out, like Sheppard isn't quite enough anymore, and it's always, always like this, when he can't find him and a personal name is a summoning spell to bring him back when nothing else will. It's always like this, and it's not casual, but I'm not entirely sure it's conscious, either. And it's always with that edge of frightened terror--after Elizabeth was replicatored, when he thought he was losing a friend, in the forest, when he thought John had been taken, here, when he thought that John was dead.

Everyone's so casual with first names, throwing them around like they're an unlimited number that can never run out, and Rodney is too, except this one name that he doesn't; it's hoarded like he was given only a limited number and every one of them has to count, every one has mean something, has to be used like a gift. I just--it gets me every time.

One day, though; one day, John's going to say vent the air, go on without me, get out of here, and I think, I know what Rodney will say, because maybe his limit was reached and he's only got one left, and how the hell does he call John back this time without them?

"John. No."

Spacesuit

I don't even know what was up with that, but I have a vague guess of canonwanking that makes vague sense; if it was that hard to get the door open, grabbing for a suit and getting the helmut on would at least give him minimal oxygen, and at that point, he could a.) try and get through the door, to the jumper before he passed out or b. use what energy he had at the comparatively shorter task of getting the suit on. I have seen them put on, and they don't look easy, but they're a lot less *physical* than the climbing and running about, so he might have measured his chances and figured the suit would be enough.

Ronon and Teal'c in SGC

That was awesome. Also, Unpleasant IOA person--hi. I hate you already. You are totally going to be a stereotype of a bigoted, annoying bureaucrat with too little talent combined with too much power. I would like to welcome you to my show, because I am going to have so much fun with you. If I ever write my Atlantis secession story, you are totally going to be why.

Teal'c and Ronon kicking ass is a thing of beauty. Of course they can take out all the Wraith; our bewilderment is only that everyone does not bow before the awesome of their magnificent pecs and well-muscled arms.

Everyone wants Ronon's gun. Teal'c, you could totally kill Sheppard without even trying, we all know this, but if you think you're cutting in line, two things:
1.) MIND CONTROLLED CITY. Do not try it there.
2.) He has a weird habit of finding and commandeering Ancient ships. Really scary ones. That like him. And have distressingly good weapons.

Me, I'd wait. Safer.

Blah blah blah plotcakes.

Conclusion

I do not believe that Unpleasant IOA Person liked Ronon. I mean, true, he could have, but I have this horrible feeling this is all an elaborate and terrifying plan that will play out next season and fill me with trepidation and joy.

John locking himself in the forwarding compartment. Yeah. I'll tell you why.

*****

Rodney started getting nervous at the twenty five hour mark. John hadn't slept the entire time they'd been on the ship, which on one hand, adrenaline remains, sure, but around hour sixteen, he'd started pulling up interfaces one by one, with an intent look on his face that was making the back of Rodney's neck itch.

Weapons--okay, just in case they were attacked, fair enough. Shields--checking diagnostics, fine. But when he started casually scrolling through the schematics, pausing thoughtfully as he followed along the chip assembly and power conduit blueprints, Rodney started wondering just what Sheppard was thinking.

The tiny twitch at his left eyebrow isn't getting any weaker the longer Lee and Kavanagh argue Tolkien's interpretation of Middle Earth agriculture, either.

There was a time in his life, Rodney reflects, when he had been teh least socialized in the room. He was wrong. God, he was wrong.

And Sheppard's been staring at the star charts a little too long. "Sheppard?" Rodney says worriedly.

"Did you know that the jumper has internal defenses?" Sheppard says dreamily.

No, he hadn't. "Really?" Should totally have read Zelenka's reports. Jesus God. "What--" Rodney clears his throat. "Uh, what kind?"

Sheppard smiles dreamily, fingers caressing the touchpads. "And weirdly, we have all the components for sarin gas."

Rodney takes a second. "There's no way we could explain why they disappeared."

Sheppard's head tilts slowly just as Lee says "Oh please. Batman? For the tragically sexually disfunctional, there's a hero--"

"Space pirates," John says speculatively, and Rodney shuts his mouth and thinks, hmm. Space pirates.

Stargate: Space Pirates

*****

So really, the question here is; why aren't they space pirates now? This, I think, is where Midway's logic fails.

Three eps left. *crosses fingers* May they please me immensely.

ETA

Okay, the more I think about it, the more I keep wondering; why is this happening now with interviews et al? I mean, on one hand, if Unpleasant IOA Guy is new and throwing his weight around, it's--that's the thing. I'm not sure if it's the committee or Sam Carter taking over, with stronger ties to SGC protocol than Elizabeth did. Elizabeth and John both were comfortable leaving Teyla in control of Atlantis in their absence. I keep wondering if this has something to do with Carter taking command and the SGC trying to correct Atlantis back toward their standard, since Elizabeth and John both tended to ignore home orders when they didnt' like them, whereas Sam--I'm thinking she won't.

I know that fanonly Atlantis is more likely to be considered rogue-like than canon, except--I can't see Elizabeth allowing the IOA to make any decisions on how she runs her base personnel.

Y/N?
Tags: episode review: stargate:atlantis
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