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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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so the question is, will they take me to their leader first
john, first strike
seperis
I think the most disturbing part of being in the new building is the fact there is a door in the handicapped bathroom stall! Okay, well, that's disturbing, yes, mostly because I cannot figure out where it goes.

It's like this great mystery. Or a mediocre mystery with a coating of huh, why? So I, being rather bored, what with the computers being down and my mentor still kind of bitter about that entire encyclopedia dramatica link, so yeah, not going in that cubicle until I'm armed with placation in the form of food and goods, decided it was time to find out The Truth.

So I asked. Blank looks all around. Door, they say, chewing on a sandwich and never meeting my eyes. A door in the bathroom?

A door in the handicapped bathroom stall, I explain. With a handle. And light coming from underneath.

So I found a floor plan (they're hanging everywhere) and lo, there's a mysterious space that hooks to that mysterious door. A space, they say as I point emphatically to the space. Right, that door! Why didn't you say so? That is a closet.

Do they always leave the lights on, I ask suspiciously, watching for tentacles (I know I've seen this movie, and I've been reliably told, fire. Kill it with fire).

Lights? They ask blankly. What lights?

So far, I have yet to hear any noise from it--and isn't that suspicious? Of course, me leaning against the door looking frantic is probably equally suspicious, but luckily my reputation precedes me--most of them are aware I'm subject to random fits of curiosity that sometimes end with me hunting up a screwdriver and taking things apart.

If I vanish, I will be in the mysterious light-filled closet.

At this point in my life, I make my own fun. Carry on.
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You know what's behind that door? The final resting place of the last person who asked so many questions about what was behind the door. *nods solemnly*

*grimly* I believe it.

I need a screwdriver and some paper towels. *narrow eyes* I'm ready.

I think you need to forget the screwdriver in this case - go with the vodka straight up.

I'm sensing a fic here.

Rodney McKay goes in the handicapped stall and doesn't come back out. John Sheppard, rescuer of errant scientists, goes in after him.

A bright, mysterious light shines from the mysterious door in the stall and John, armed with rolls of toilet paper, goes in.

After John goes through the door, the mysterious light extinguishes.

Will we ever see our heroes again?

*bites lip* And that is totally something that would happen to Rodney, too.

Someone's not going to be happy that they lost Rodney and John in a bathroom.

And the next person in the stall was extremely unhappy because John stole all the rolls of toilet paper.

I'm just hoping they weren't in the ladies restroom. *controversy*

ahahahah, I love this. However though, do remember that screwdriver. I recommend a large Phillips. Just in case you need to take things apart. *suspicious*

Recommendation accepted. *narrow eyes*

Possibly a smaller screwdriver as a backup and potential stabbing implement in case of the undead.

I'm just resisting the urge to say, "Go towards the light, Carol-Ann!"

Or, you know, maybe not resisting that much.

We had a door in the basement of our dorms that was unmarked and thought to lead to some old utility-type thingy. With friends armed with the night security keys, it was discovered it did, and then past that and out into the caves down at the riverside. We had an escape route. Seriously, how bad was the dorm life back when this thing was built?

You *must* investigate. There could be winos. [nods seriously]

Or gold! Or--possibly all the missing supplies. But a treasure! Waiting!

Or jewels, or slash fic, or socks, or maybe even the secret recipe for the world's best lefse!

i want to live where you live. i haven't explored a good secret passage since...i tried to build one in the floorspace of my childhood home. VEG.

Okay, that is awesome! What did you do?

Well, now that is a story. Let's see if i can do the short version.
still might come at you in two parts. Fair warning.

My dad was one of those survival nuts. Militia member, the whole shebang. The kind of guy they investigated on the X-files, because of Ruby Ridge. We lived in the stix, had a self-sufficient house powered entirely on batteries and etc, and had a safe full of guns. Our basement (seel-reinforced cinder-block with metal storm-doors) was built into a hill, and the back side was abutted by a wall of tires to take impact and had fans and vents to the surface, etc, so it could be used as a bomb shelter on the day when the US government took over and drove all gun-owners into hiding to protect the right to keep and bear arms.

not kidding.

anyway, there was also a hidden way out of the bomb-sheltery back room. We must always have a getaway/sally-port, whatever. The fireplace in that room slid out on rails to reveal a (very short, never fully covered-over) tunnel out of the hill and into the woods. Course Dad was also notoriously incapable of finishing any project, so the thing was never fully functional; it couldn't be moved unless you had about three people to do so since the fireplace was also made of cinder blocks and the rails stuck.

This however inspired me to have a back way out of my bedroom; not only for escape when i was being punished for whatever, but to have something cool to show off, because we weren't allowed to rat out our secret passageway in the basement to outsiders--even other kids--just in case they might someday squeal to the governmental types when they came after us. I mean, should we even feel like having other kids over and risk having them see how weird and embarassing our family was, LOL. So one day my mom came in my room and found me prying up the floorboards in my closet to create a crawlspace in between floor and downstairs ceiling (yes, this was upstairs, and believe me this might have worked, because our house had about a foot in between the floor and ceiling, should i have managed to pull out a whole row of fiberblass insulation. Course then I'd have died from inhaling glass splinters from the leftover insulation, but whatever).

Now, where this crawlspace was supposed to GO, i couldn't tell you. Maybe i planned to open up a hole in the back wall so i could crawl out to the woods myself? My room abutted the forest out back. Why crawling out of the window wasn't good enough for me, i couldn't tell you. Except that is just nowhere near as cool as having a crawlspace getaway.

Oh well, we still had forts in the woods, my bro and i.
End of story about childhood in the house of anti-government paranoia, hehe. *looks around furtively in case government types might be watching*

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In the movie version, make sure I am not played by Paris Hilton.

um, if this were the X-Files, you would be so very screwed. Because not only is it a *freaky door with light coming from underneath*, it's in the *bathroom*. And nothing good ever happened in there on that show.

Hmm. You're right, now that I think about it.

I'm officially scared to go to the bathroom and I've had *two diet cokes and a coffee*.

Is the light sort of wavery? Because it could be a portal to another universe. Which could be totally cool! Or a universe of zombies.

Be sure to take PowerBars with you when you explore because you'll need to keep your strength up to fight the zombies.

...your icon is terrifying.

Also, yse. And Ramen. No situation can be begun without Ramen in the back pocket.

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Don't worry; when that door opens, the story will be epic (no matter what is actually there). Promise. *wide eyes*

This story has brightened up my day considerably. And I am now once more feeling the urge to explore certain places in my university despite only having one semester left.

I missed the opportunity at mine to go through the old theatre--so many possibilities! And the church!

*sad*

We have UNDERGROUND TUNNELS. They are generally locked, but one of my anth profs used to unlock them "by accident" if students wanted to explore. Then again, he has since disappeared (off to get another PhD they claim). Some are steam tunnels, others are maintenance. Words cannot describe how curious I am.

We also have a building where some doors that look like they lead to classrooms lead to more halls, you have to go up from the first floor to reach the first floor, you can only reach part of the building by going through a computer lab, and you have to go up to go down sometimes. One of my friends refuses to go in it, and at least three are certain that it follows non-Euclidean geometry and that the rooms, halls, and stairs like to move around. It's my favorite building ever.

So this is Lovecraft University then? The Necronomicon could be in those rooms!

...God that is awesome. So. Awesome.

::laughing hysterically:: I was making it alright by keeping my amusement down to quiet giggles (trying not to bother my suitemates), but when I got to "fire. Kill it with fire", I just lost it. You win at life.

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