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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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so how do you answer?
children of dune - leto 1
Having started reading Savage Love, it's now impossible for me to stop, which is how I have learned about many new and interesting things involving honey, household appliances, a high pain threshhold, and how all of those things can go together.

It's fascinating and interestingly informative. And I'll be honest--it answers questions I never thought to ask, mostly due to the fact I never knew they existed. I read each one in a kind of curiosity, wondering what the answer will be this time. (And weirdly, I rarely disagree with him flat out.)

However, there is always a waterloo.


When we don't respond to a question, the reader who sent it thinks, "He/she doesn't care," or "He/she is too busy," or "He/she thought my question wasn't interesting." When the reality may be that he/she has no fucking clue.

I almost think it's someone's duty out there to answer this one:

What would we use to cool the burn should the application of Tabasco sauce to her anus or clit prove to be too much for her to endure?

...yeah. I was--God help me--thinking that milk might do it? I know bread does it for jalapenos, but I just can't see asking your lover to stay still while you run for the Rainbow bread, you know? Tabasco is technically an acid (yes?) so a heavy base might do it? Maybe a good idea is to get the test tubes out and start testing for neutralizing agents?

This concludes Jenn Needs to Get Out More, because I had no idea that tabasco sauce was the new hot thing. Nor, really, did I want to.

ETA: And the suggestions are in!

In order of posting, sort of:

1.) milk - (4) seperis, sociofemme, mamadeb, text_isle (with anecdote!)
2.) cream - (1) sociofemme
3.) dairy (general) - (3) carloton97, niqaeli, janne_d
4.) yoghurt - (7) lehanra, niqaeli, cold_poet, ascetic_hedony, mz_bstone*, grammarwoman, unrund
5.) sour cream - (2) mamadeb, mmmchelle
6.) milk of magnesia - (1) mireille719
7.) alcohol - (2) rishabree, deadlychameleon
8.) toothpaste - (1) toft_froggy
9.) aloe - (1) rogue_planet
10.) menthol - (1) rogue_planet
11.) butter** - (2) adannu, seperis
12.) baby oil (1) - sapote3

*also, an icepack. I'd agree and add vicodin
**Butter shouldn´t be used when it comes to the anus. If it goes into the intestinal track you will get diarrhea which is also the reason why it shouldn´t be used as lube in anal play. -- unrund

(Deleted comment)
Oh good, it's not jsut me that jumped to milk on that one. I couldn't figure out why, except I do have milk around when I eat anything hot.

*twitch* Yeah. There was this second of remembering something I'd read about the recreational use of icyhot.

Anything with a high fat content would do it, I'd think, since that's how dairy works to soothe a pepper burn; the fat molecules surround the capsaicin and separate it from the skin.

(thank god for Elton Brown!)

*grins* Ooh, butter. With the fat? That would work very well. And for dual purposes.

Yoghurt? I always ave some in my fridge.

And I so don't need the mental image.

Also, Dan Savage seems to think bisexuality doesn't really exist but he is funny and smart so I still like him.

Yoghurt sounds good too, with the fat and dairyness.

He doesn't? Huh.

As been answered by others, anything with a high fat content should work--dairy is the usual. It's why lassi is such a good drink to have on hand when eating Indian; it's a yogurt-delivery system (mm, mango and yogurt smoothie).

Now I'm hungry. *wistful*

In the annals of Things I Will Never Have to Experience Myself...

I guess I'm glad somebody can come up with an answer, but, I'm a zillion times gladder I'm not the somebody asking the question.

I've never really glanced over the condiments thusly. I'm kind of tempted to open the refrigerator and contemplate the erotic potential of mustard.

Mythbusters apparently tested that out (using *mouths*, of course) and milk wins.

Sour cream is, um. Less runny.

Mythbusters are officially awesome.


Chiming in to agree on the dairy products. Capsaicin is a long organic molecule, so you need other organics to lift it. Anything water based won't really help as the capsaicin will be hydrophobic in nature.

And I really wouldn't go for a strong base, even if tabasco was acidic. Imagine if you didn't quite apply it to the exact same place *winces* Then you could have two types of burns. I'd say pretty much any acid or base would have a safety data sheet that says "wash with copious amounts of water" in case of contact.

I was thinking food-based bases--yeah, wouldn't be too keen on bleach or--wow, second time today I've had a full body twitch.


I feel this should be a badfic.

I believe that it's also soluble in alcohol? So some beer might do the trick.

Hmm. Alcohol does have a slight burn, but it does sound logical if after the tabasco is removed you wash with water.

I'm laughing in ways that are scaring my family. I suspect I may have been getting out too much of late.

Also, the spouse suggests sour cream might work. /g/ It does in Mexican restaurants.


I should ETA with teh suggested list now. So far, all the ideas are logical.

Maybe toothpaste?

I LOVE Savage Love. It's so addictive.

*wipes eyes* My flist is made of win right now.

Toothpaste has a tingle to it too, doesn't it?

... Thanks, now I just spent two hours reading over at Savage Love, and there are PLOT BUNNIES running rampant.

On the other hand, aloe? Menthol?


I...wow. I did not know that.

Um. They make creams and lubes and all sorts of sensitive-area safe stuff for those who like the burn...no need to use condiments people. Sheesh.

(Is there context for that? Like maybe they've been building up, using milder agents? Other more experienced people have suggested it is *good* to use? I am AGOG. Tabasco? Jesus. I thought *I* was kinky.)

Also - I suggest yogurt, the plain kind. And depending on if the Tabasco goes into the orifice, a douche or enema to help remove the trace specks of chili powder where it will stick to the mucous.

Yoghurt came to mind, possibly because I've heard of it being safely used in that area.

Yoghurt does seem really logical. And easy to have on hand for quick and later tasty use.

I would say you don't put tabasco near mucous membranes. But I'm oddly practical that way.

But if you must -- yoghurt, and an icepack.


Yeahhh. Call me vanilla, but I just kind of want the condiments and spices to stay in the food, you know?

I like the icepack addition. And a painkiller, maybe.