Stolen from cara_chapel
The DNR List, or when I skip:
Do Not Read -- this applies to fic and to lj entries in general when appropriate. And sometimes when it's not.
Hugely hypocritical of me, but not because they are WiPs, but these days because I simply don't have time.
Exceptions: Te, Pearl-o, Tstar, RivkaT, anything on selling_out and Beth, new writers, or by specific rec or request (AKA, beta).
2.) Annoying/Stupid/Dumb People
See, luckily, this rule almost never gets used, as I like everyone on my LJ friendslist and I don't go off of it except by specific rec.
Exceptions: If they have moments of clarity that make me rethink their position. That happens very rarely. And by specific link/rec.
3.) Anyone who has flamed someone I like.
Because I can have random rules like that. And be that completely unfair. And I don't even care how unfair it is.
Exceptions: If they've apologized. It happens more than I thought. I like when that happens. It's hellish to know there's good fic that you can't read.
4.) Character assassination when it's dead serious.
Not humor. Not parody. Not ficlets and fun fic and vent-fic. When the story presents the most bizarre characterizations to be seen since the infamous Memoirs.
Exceptions: Lana. Again, my journal, my rules. Feel free to assassinate her character at will. Or worse, write her accurately. You couldn't be more cruel than that.
5.) Felony crimes against grammar.
6.) Felony crimes against spelling.
7.) Lex cries at any time like a three year old girl.
Exceptions: I'm sure eventually there will be some if there hasn't been one already, so when I figue out what it is, I'll post it here.
8.) Random gratuitous Clark torture.
Because it's fun in small doses and then just makes me want to write Clark/Lana so he has some non-stressful dull time with someone who doesn't want to kill him. Yes, I know. Again, my journal? My rules. And yep, I break this one at least mentally once a day. *g*
Exceptions: Anything written post-Insurgence, post-Suspect, post-Rush, post-Witness, post-Precipice, post-this-last-annoying episode, or before August 2002, when I reversed my position on Clark needing to go into a lab to be cut up. Anything written by Te, Prufrock, Beth, Caro, Spike, Debchan, et al, should they choose to indulge. I'm perfectly willing to be completely illogical on this one.
I know, I know. I just can't get into it.
Exceptions: Tara LJC. Pearl-o. Or when it ends very badly.
And again, I know. I'm limiting myself and being plebian and boring and following the masses like a big lemming. I don't mind that at all. Vive la being the same as everyone else.
Exceptions: Authors I currently think are the cat's pajamas. I reserve the right, however, to be unhappy that I like the story so much. And to sulk later, worried that I like it too much.
9.) Fandoms I'm not interested in.
Exceptions: See rule eight.
The Insta!Read List
1.) Those I make shrines to and talk about in an awed voice tend to be read immediately.
See Te, RivkaT, Debchan, Spike, Thamiris, MustangSally, Bethy, Livia, LaT, Pearl-o, Caro, Celli, MHC, Dev, Pru, Jessica, Koimistress, et al. Really, if I quizzed, most of you could guess who my Most Favoritest People on earth are by now, right? *G*
2.) New writers in the fandom.
Instantly to the top of the list. No exceptions except DNR Rule #3.
3.) Clark/Lex AUs.
I have a weakness. A very, very big weakness.
4.) Specific recommendation by someone I trust.
Weakness. Lots and lots of it. Lots and lots and lots of it.
6.) Very Unusual Idea
I also squee and drool when I see this. Dance, too.
And all rules are subject to change without notice, since when I'm moody or really bored, I've been known to scope out RPS and Hobbit porn, just because apparently Hobbits aren't supposed to have sex. I assume they bud or something. Huh. Who knew?
Does this make me elitist? Or just really, really weird? *sighs and stares at list* I wonder how long those rules will last before something makes me break them. I'm betting on an hour.
I am very, very bored here people.