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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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moody cow
It's not so much the cramps that make me wish to commit acts of random homicide, but the fact that in untold thousands of years we have yet to evolve ourselves right out of this.

Open Letter to My Body:

Seriously. What purpose does the pain have? And yes, I know the biology, but pain is supposed to be warning to the body that something less than kosher is going on--this is kosher--God, am I misappropriating terms here--this is theoretically supposed to happen. It is not new and strange and foreign--it's been almost twenty years, give or take a year or two. You cannot possibly see this as some kind of new event that requires nerve endings to fire out warnings to tell me something's up. The visual and tactile senses are quite aware of what's going on. I do not need the Red Flag of Oh Something Is Happening Oh Pain to figure it out. Thank you, body.

--Seperis, pissed

This, I feel, would be an excellent time to get into a flame war about something stupid.

I have never appreciated mint cookies more than at this moment. I cannot even articulate my appreciation.

On the upside, I get to use the mood cranky and lie in bed and whimper bitterly about my lot in life.

Actually, my sister and her teachers would argue that you're not supposed to be in pain and that modern/western convention for simply accepting it and not looking deeper is deeply annoying and not healthy. It's not that there's something extremely wrong, but that balances and all that jazz are off.

That would make sense, considering it's such a regular event that the body has *got* to be adapted to it after all this time.

*still curled in fetal ball*

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No joke.

I am resenting men atm.

In order to accommodate your desire for a flame war about something stupid, I'm forced to inform you that mint cookies are vile, vile creations of the devil. And should be banned from LJ.

*also waves a red icon in front of your eyes to infuriate and inflame you*

Now tell me you like nutella and I will destroy your soul.

...or I might start crying uncontrollably. Seriously. What was evolution thinking?

I realize this isn't the answer to everything, but if you take a muscle relaxant, it should relieve your cramps.

I would if I had one. I borrowed a vicadin and for the first time *ever* called my doctor and asked for a painkiller--the overthe counter stuff isn't even leaving a dent in it.

*sighs* The only real consolation is that this doesn't happen often. Just enough to make me twitchy.

Yeah, I fail to understand this pain thing, too. Especially since, for me? It frequently ends up traveling to my legs as well, making everything I do painful. And for some people it's truly debilitating. Why can't anyone work out something better than freaking acetaminophen?

I get a low grade ache in my legs, but I"m not sure if it's related to the cramping or the fact I spend a lot of time very prone with my legs up during.

I've had friends who were *monthly* taking half-days off or full days because they couldn't get up. I can't even imagine that.

Are they Girl Scouts Thin Mints? Because they *Rule*. And include chocolate, which is vvvimportant.

Grocery store Christmas one that are *amazing*. Seriously. Almost on the level fo Thin Mints.

*Sends you virtual chocolate and pain killers and possible chocolate covered pain killers.*

My partner found something called "Health by Chocolate" that has extra anti-oxidants and such and makes you feel high the way it interacts with your hormones - kinda awesome. It's made for cramps, even says so on the little pink wrapper. Probably not the level of cramps you are talking about, but, you know, chocolate never hurt anyone. *nods sagely*

Indeed. *eats another cookie*

*and hugs, too*

Grab a box of the sticky chemical heat pads from the grocery store. I consider it a good month if I don't actually throw up from the pain, but if I remember to grab one of these I can sometimes skip the cramps completely. (of course, like migraine, if you don't take care of the pain before it's bad, it only gets worse)

*hugs gently* For years I didn't get bad cramps, then the last few years they have been getting worse (it feels like a fist is clenching my utreus, oh, and there are back aches too). I've noticed that the more stressed out and tired I am, the worse my cramps are.

At least my boobs get bigger right before?

Period cramps suck. On the other hand, pre-period cramps are to be accepted as a necessary evil, because oh God, OH GOD, how many times in my life have I been hunky dory and then suddenly -- HELLO, PERIOD. WELCOME. PLEASE SHOWCASE YOURSELF WHEN I HAVE TO GET UP AND SPEAK IN PUBLIC/CANNOT FIND A BATHROOM/AM IN THE MIDDLE OF A THEATER-SEATING CLASS. So yes to pre-period cramps. The actual period cramps can take a hike.

Husband-san once asked me, after I had gotten over the stage in which I go all fetal and snarly, what cramps feel like. Well, you know how it feels when your foot cramps up, I said. Take that pain, multiply it a few times, and stick it in your groin.

He got all quiet and thoughtful, and has been satisfyingly attentive during Bad Cramp Time ever since.

My first thought on reading this post was to ask you if you've ever read the Connie Willis story "Even the Queen," about a future society where the advanced medical technology means that no one has a period anymore unless they're in the hippy-dippy earth mother movement who actually have their cycles re-started so they can experience primal womanhood and everyone else thinks they're nuts.

My second thought was to remember the college bio course where the prof pointed out how very easily menstrual cycles stop and noted that women are actually evolved to spend most of their fertile years either pregnant or nursing (under nutritional conditions in which breastfeeding was a valid form of birth control because women weren't getting enough calories to support ovulation as well) and hence the modern-day full-time menstruation is the oddity.

I feel your pain, in a literal and figurative sense. The doctor has me on pain killers just a few steps down from morphine every month. The pain is also accompanied by days of nausea and throwing up everything possible (including meds) and me beggin tpo just curl up in bed and die.

Seriously, if men were the child-bearers, the species would have become extinct several millenia ago

Yeah, it completely sucks. Years into this and I'm still as disgruntled with the whole biological setup than I have been at first. (I once met some women from a group who were all about "celebrating" menstruation, I thought they were kind of crazy...) And I don't even get really bad cramps, though unfortunately they seem to get worse as I get older. Still, sometimes they are completely absent, so why can't they just stay away?

But then I also don't understand why our teeth can't regrow more than one time. There seem a lot of very sensible and yet not too fundamental or complex improvements possible, that I sometimes mourn not living sometime when biotechnology will be further along.

full-time menstrual : only happens because we're not continually preggers/breastfeeding and're getting more than enough to eat.

Yeah, nature, that makes *so* much sense, for half the population to spend at least a day curled up in intense pain. We're getting rid of a not-very-big amount of extraneous wall that was just an add-on, not getting rid of something the size of a melon! My fave is that I get shooting pains up my thighs as well.