Open Letter to My Body:
Seriously. What purpose does the pain have? And yes, I know the biology, but pain is supposed to be warning to the body that something less than kosher is going on--this is kosher--God, am I misappropriating terms here--this is theoretically supposed to happen. It is not new and strange and foreign--it's been almost twenty years, give or take a year or two. You cannot possibly see this as some kind of new event that requires nerve endings to fire out warnings to tell me something's up. The visual and tactile senses are quite aware of what's going on. I do not need the Red Flag of Oh Something Is Happening Oh Pain to figure it out. Thank you, body.
This, I feel, would be an excellent time to get into a flame war about something stupid.
I have never appreciated mint cookies more than at this moment. I cannot even articulate my appreciation.
On the upside, I get to use the mood cranky and lie in bed and whimper bitterly about my lot in life.