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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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it has been a very, very long morning
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
So I had this idea.

It was, in retrospect, not the brightest idea I have ever had. And about three thousand words in, I realized why.

This involves Crimes Against Humanity. Yes, the one with all the mass murders and the sex. Just skip along. This is how I sulk.

(Sometimes I think if I die tomorrow, only three things will be remembered about me: that I had rabbits, that I wanted a pony, and that I liked to write about characters turning evil a lot.)



I was working on A History of Violence, the third Lorne story, which if I'm honest, the entire series could be considered this paeon to "Why Miss Porcupine Has Written the Ultimate Lorne and God I Want to Have His Babies", but anyway. I kidnapped her Lorne. Yes, I know. I realize this.

I'd written the past, then skipped to semi-present (events of the second one are set pretty much evenly with the last posted bits of Crimes). While working on the third, I started going through my personal list of Cool Stuff That Only Really Evil Characters Can Do and found two things I'd been carrying a grudge over for a while. I started writing and realized that while the story in my head was fine with it, no one else would know what was going on, as it's set about a year after the current event timeline. And unless I included a page of explanation (hell no. I barely remember to *warn* for God's sake), I'd have to finish Crimes.

And like I said, the Cool Stuff list is like, my favoritest thing *ever*. It's like being able to rain down terror on yoru enemies if your enemies are imaginary and you have no soul. Awesome.

So I looked at Crimes and though, twenty pages. I can finish this up, post it, and get done with this. Optimistically, I figured I'd work in a bit of porn as well. And finish a WIP that I am reliably informed has odds at 1000 to one of ever being finished. I sat down, read backward (let's face it; this is not great plot. This is murder, death, sex, murder, death, sex, sex, torturing Sumner, more sex. It's not like this is a masterpiece of psychological darkness here). And I started.

..twenty five pages later, I am estimating it'll take about twenty thousand words to finish, above the 11,000 I already added.

This is why.

A. I made the mistake of pre-plotting early on. I try never to do that. So it's already stuck in my head that X, Y, and Z have to happen. I can't decide, oh, no X. Because then I will confuse myself completely adn give up in spite. (this happens more than you think.)

B. I forgot how long it takes to write action. And my X, Y, and Z are almost completely action, action, action (and death, murder, torture, mutilation, blah blah blah).

C. X and Y are on my Cool Stuff Only Really Evil Characters Can Do list and I just can't see how I'll get the chance again in this fandom unless I either do another disturbingly dark AU or change psuedonyms. (Yeah, that would work well. My remix was fingered in like, ten minutes.)

*mulls* I feel like I'm escalating at this point though. And it's not like I'm unhappy about that either; if there was ever a fic I wrote that should be allowed to see how high I can get the bodycount, this one would be it. But then there are these emails I send to people who aren't me.

That part is up to you, to be honest. Get back to me with your thoughts
while I have Rodney cutting off Zelenka's fingers for Daedalus codes. I
should be able to answer tonight, I just have to do my Chem lab before I
get online, or tomorrow afternoon if the unthinkable happens and I fall
asleep or go into a coma or something.


The sad part is, it wasn't until she replied that I noticed.



This is brought to you by a long morning of chemistry. IT was a long morning.


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I forgot how long it takes to write action. And my X, Y, and Z are almost completely action, action, action (and death, murder, torture, mutilation, blah blah blah).

LOL. Such is the life of a writer. Five torture scenes to write before breakfast.

Sometimes, I wonder about myself.

(Deleted comment)
*stares at fic* I have this horrible feeling I'm going to double the current length. And it's just--*shocky*. YEeah.

*buries head in hands*

This is murder, death, sex, murder, death, sex, sex, torturing Sumner, more sex.

Personally, I really don't have a problem with more of the same.

They are having fun, true.

*mulls*

See, you kidnap my Lorne, you end up with my long-ass stories, too. Package deal.

Note the lack of complaining on my part. Because if I ever do a Lorne-turning-evil-in-Atlantis story...

I forgot how long it takes to write action.

Jeez, yeah. You write it out and then you realize you did the equivalent of the sex scene where you forgot to take their pants off and someone must have five hands. And then you edit it so that the activities are physically possible but it still only makes sense to you because you can see it in your head while none of your betas can. (Or, why Second Terrace took three weeks longer than it was supposed to.)

GOD. THAT--YES.

I ended up scrappng a description of the Daedalus bridge fight by putting Rodney out of sight--I can see it just fine, but I kept having people being in physically impossible places and it was just so not logical.

Yeah, that would work well. My remix was fingered in like, ten minutes.

*laughs* This is about a hundred times worse with art (or rather, with amateur fandoodlers like me :D). I once thought, you know what be hilarious? An artist's challenge in which the entire goal was to be anonymous and not get caught. Then I realized I could never achieve it. :(

*dies* Yeah, you are *very distinctive*. And adorable. *nods*

heeeee. The thing about "Crimes", though, it's that it's *just that close to canon*. I mean, I really wonder if the writers are playing War Crimes Bingo.

There is a level of glee, however, in thinking lovingly of all the ways that they can hurt the Genii.

*sighs blissfully*

You = Rockstar. For serious. \o/

Oooh, more Crimes? *waits patiently*

this makes me happy - not your grumpiness, and not how long I'll probably have to wait - but just that you're working on more Crimes, yay! Because, duh, yes.

I just had to comment to say that, on seeing a couple screen caps from Doppelganger (I haven't watched the epp yet) I said to my wife, "Oh look! It's Crimes Against Humanity John!"

I see nothing at all wrong with the notion of more Crimes</> - and if it means more 'death, murder, torture, mutilation, blah blah blah' it's totally worth the waiting

30K+ more words of Crimes? YES, PLEASE. My love for the murdersexmurdertorturesexdirtyhotness of this 'verse cannot be adequately expressed by human language. *thinks good porny evil thoughts your way*

I'm excited to see you're writing more for 'Crimes', not sure I ever want you to truly finish it though :) Loving the story, but I never like to see the end of the really good ones.

1. I'm sure other people have told you this, but I actually really like rereading Crimes. For two reasons; I like trying to mentally backstory each character's darkness, and I love fics where the stupid/bad guy gets his. (This is the same impulse that prompts me to read fics where one character is obliviously a complete asshole to the other, because of that moment at the end where they realize it and feel *terrible* and I smoke a metaphorical cigarrette in satisfaction). Basically what I am trying to say here is that scene where they fuck and electroshock Sumner at the same time? Really does it for me. Special hell, table for one please.

2. Zelenka's FINGERS? Eeep. ::shudder:: (I'm a doctor and an osteopath and a guitar player; I think I love my hands as much as Rodney theoretically loves his, and hand injuries are ... ::squick::)

hmm. i don't know what crimes is, nor do i really care for sga.

however, i am all about crimes against humanity. (last night i had the "what's your favorite genocide?" discussion with my roommate's boyfriend. she was like, what is WRONG with you people?")

also, i am the person that had to have three people say it was inappropriate to kill off a beloved character by suicide in a yuletide story. i wasn't convinced by just two people. i needed lots of convincing that my recipient would be really, really upset. (my story was still pretty depressing.)

and i am, umm, currently working on a series roughly entitled, "don't ask, just build" which is a loose five things story about five different characters and suicide.

not to mention my office apocalypse where everyone dies, or the emily and richard gilmore in shaye's apocalypse universe story where THEY die . . .

sigh. i'm horrible. ::uses ironic icon::

*distills post*

*percolates*

*ruminates*

So, basically, more Crimes?

Is for YAY!

*pets Jenn's lovely little psychopaths*

This is murder, death, sex, murder, death, sex, sex, torturing Sumner, more sex
*drums fingers and WAITS*

not very patiently I might add.

I was working on A History of Violence, the third Lorne story, which if I'm honest, the entire series could be considered this paeon to "Why Miss Porcupine Has Written the Ultimate Lorne and God I Want to Have His Babies", but anyway. I kidnapped her Lorne. Yes, I know. I realize this.

I had wondered about the way he managed to stay reasonable, loyal, and oddly like himself in a setting where most of the other characters are reimagined as either openly psychopathic or as grim machiavellian plotters only hiding behind an appearance of integrity. (Seriously, even apple pie-eating golden boy Cam Mitchell appeared to be acting out a scene from the final days of Hitler's bunker in the last installment.) Now you make me want to see a story in which some sarcastic gripe ends up exposing a fatal flaw in a plan that Sheppard, Rodney, etc. had completely overlooked and thus illustrates why Lorne gets to be himself without triggering murderous rages with the backtalk.

Seriously, even apple pie-eating golden boy Cam Mitchell appeared to be acting out a scene from the final days of Hitler's bunker in the last installment.

Oh my God, I love you for that so much. The only people that came off well i killed off-screen--Carter, O'Neill, later Hammond (though I'm not sure that ever apperas in the story).

To be fair to teh characters, Sheppard wasn't nearly that unstable before the joys of Sumner's regular company and frequent regeneration. And the third story does have much more of Lorne's--specific set of crazy, which I am so deeply thrilled about.

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