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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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svreview: precipise, s2e19
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
Well. That was hot.



Blah blah blah engaged, oh you saved me Helen, wow, honey, do you use that line on ALL your wives to be?

You know, like the OTHER one that saved you. My, how quickly we forget.

Though I liked Helen's jump to conclusions that Clark was the one he'd thought of. Amusement galore. Also liked her amazing lack of bandages after having, I think, her throat slit. You go, girl. Do tell us about that magic plastic surgeon you have on retainer.

Well, it was a week for me to get a WHOLE damn lot of wishes gratned, and hell, I hadn't even known I had some of them!

The violence rating--beautiful. Everyone was dangerously short tempered and hitting things, throwing things, cutting things up, and generally pleasing me muchly. I, for one, am a fan of gratuitious violence. Especially the kind involving Lex.

And may I point out, thank you? Really. Writers, whoever you are, thank you. I got to watch Lex hit things, drive fast, hold a gun, plan a cold blooded murder, and not go through with it.

So. Just so we can clarify.

Clark beats up four guys. Mmmm. Then Bad Guy beats himself up with a mirror. Guy? Consider some therapy. You shouldnt' have image issues like that. Lana versus the hanging thing. You go, Lana. Then we have Guy Attacking Helen. Always good for fun. After, we have Lex and Guy fight. My dreams will never be the same. Then Lana kicks ass. And makes me like watching.

Smug Sheriff annoyed me, but that's her function. Because really, we don't have enough people in the show that annoy me. No, we don't.

Right, I'm being rambly. The hotness of Lex tends to do that to me.

So Mean Frat Guys are mean to Lana. Oh damn. Clark saves her. Oh, that's new. Clark throws one into a car. That's been done. No, wait. Guy is DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT? NO! REALLY?

See, the thing is, I would have believed his injuries were real. HE MADE A DENT IN THE WINDSHIELD, CLARK. Okay? *sighs* In a way, it was kind of a let-down that he was faking. This might have been an interesting object lesson, though that one million dollar thing would, of course, have been the pits.

Anyway. Helen has a stalker, blah blah blah exposition cakes, but did you check out those eyes? Pretty body, pretty face, but the eyes screamed "I am a murdering stalker and I shall eventually turn to taxidermy to keep you around longer." You know the type. Yep. And notice how large his pupils were? You'll note that all Bad Guys or Good Guys Doing Bad get enlarged pupils. Possibly due to the close-ups.

All's well that ends well for the crew. Lana bonds with her inner Xena, Lex renews his affair with firearms, Helen plays The Victim in Any Horror Movie, complete with non-working lights and without the sense God gave a sheep to Get Out if the Lights Don't Work (NOW), Clark revisits his Red Sociopathic tendencies and mentions taking over the flawed race. I didn't cheer. But it was a very close thing.

I'm still stuck on three Very Important Moments.

One, Lex and Lana.

My first instinct was to go, eww. My second was to go, my, they are close. Lex, do you need to touch her that much? Third was, okay, keep touching.

I'm uncomfortably aware that at some point, I am going to write them fucking. Possibly during a training session. Honestly, it scares me how GOOD they are together on screen. Lana is less annoying, Lex seems to almost relax, and they are cute. Disturbingly, very-wrong, immensely terrifyingly cute. He knows how to push her buttons. She seems to bring out his protective instincts. And she seems to be taking up special Clark-space and that pleases me, since Clark annoys me and he should suffer.

Two, Clark showing up at the hospital.

Here's what I liked about that bit.

Anyone see a truck? *grins*

So, we have Clark at the Talon, wondering what hes' going to do now that Lex has a girlfriend and brother, Mom and Dad are having a baby, AND Lana can defend herself from Bad Guys he saves her from. His raison d'etre is disappearing by the show. Damn, now I feel sorry for him.

But wait. Now he's at the hospital. Looking for Lex. Hmm. No truck in sight. How odd.

Poor baby is desperate for someone to save. *pets*

Moving on.

Three, Clark and Lex doing their teamwork in fighting evil together, exchanging disturbingly non-heterosexual looks over the body of Paul (Bad Future TaxidermistSerialKillerStalkerGuy, for reference). Lex carefully planning how he would kill Paul. And he could have done it. If he hadn't hesitated.

*grins* Unconscious or not, I like the continuity. I like even better that the second time, he made a conscious choice and didn't do it. And he can say it was Helen, like he used to say it was Clark, but that was himself.

Now, to a few things that trouble me. But only a little.

Last week, Helen found out about Lex's One True Obsession. You know, the room, the blue light, the three foot tall picture of Clark? Yes, that one. If you think REALLY hard, yo'll remember. Apparently, Helen forgot. Very strange. Lex may have found his soulmate, or at very least, his First Minion. Anyone see if she was wearing jackboots?

Odd, though. But this IS Smallville and continuity isn't expected.

latxcvi or liviapenn pointed out that Lex obsesses with a real lack of shame. Clark! He saved me! Desiree! She saved me! Helen, you saved me! Blah blah blah cakes, bring out some martyrs to wail or something. Like Clark and his 'best friend' thing, Lex goes through saviors like dirty underwear. It's endearing. I keep worrying that one day, Jonathan might accidentally save Lex, and the face of Smallville slash will scare the living shit out of me.

"Go away, Lex."

"But Jonathan, you saved me."

"What happened to Mr. Kent? And will you stop trying to give me that Ferrari?"

"I was going to run over a cow, and then I had to stop, because I thought of you! YOU, Jonathan!"

"...what cow?"

*sighs happily* Lex, I adore you.

Clark was--remarkably less sparkly, actually. Lana was terrifyingly sparkly, Helen had some good moments, and Lex was so hot I lost track of time and control of voluntary motor function. Clakr was kind of there in an orange vest.

I'm still thinking. CJ had some interesting chat things I want to mull. But. Here's our lesson for today.

a.) Anytime guns are involved with Lex, I feel the episode has been a Great Success.

b.) Lex and Lana should fight together more often. Please.

c.) These people need a serious infusion of pop culture understanding in their lives.

More later whenI'm less squee-y. Wow.


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"Go away, Lex."
"But Jonathan, you saved me."


*snarfs water all over lap*

BWA!!!

Lex was so hot I lost track of time and control of voluntary motor function.

I had a fire extinguisher at the ready! Yeow! Precipice was dark and ripe - it made me all kinds of happy.

Clark's my woobie, but this ep made me go "Clark who?"

a.) Anytime guns are involved with Lex, I feel the episode has been a Great Success.


I totally agree. I've been saying the same thing in chat all night long. MR needs some kind of gun movie next. He really does.

*Scrubbing frantically*
Lex and Jonathan. I will never feel clean!
What, Lexana wasn't enough? :) :P~

Lex obsesses with a real lack of shame. Clark! He saved me! Desiree! She saved me! Helen, you saved me! Blah blah blah cakes

Oh, but I love that boy. He's so cute when he obsesses.

And a very loud "WORD" to your entire summary. Even the Lexana...which I'm actually begining to get. In an oddly fascinated way, even if I still do believe in the Big Gay Love. Must find threesome story...but in any case, I like Lana so much MORE when she's around Lex. Hee!


Here's our lesson for today.

a.) Anytime guns are involved with Lex, I feel the episode has been a Great Success.

b.) Lex and Lana should fight together more often. Please.

c.) These people need a serious infusion of pop culture understanding in their lives.



I would add:

D. - Clark and Lex should interact in plotful ways more often.

Anytime the guys are together in more than a passing play-pool-just-to-establish-they-are-still-on-the-same-show-together kind of way, the episode ROCKS.

I love plot.

*g*


Oddly, I agree with everything you said and disliked the episode overall. Perhaps I'll enjoy it more on rewatching. But you are so right about Lex and his savior addiction. And like a rock star, he doesn't even need to wash his dirty underwear. He can just throw it away and get new. (No jokes about rooting through his garbage, please.)

I am in love with tonight's Lex. I am in love with tonight's episode. And I am in love with your post. Thanks for putting it up and saving me all the typing. *g*

Damn, still salivating over the hotness of Lex tonight.

Lex carefully planning how he would kill Paul. And he could have done it. If he hadn't hesitated.

*grins* Unconscious or not, I like the continuity. I like even better that the second time, he made a conscious choice and didn't do it. And he can say it was Helen, like he used to say it was Clark, but that was himself.


oh yes, yes this is so true! i adore this interpretation! lex can't believe he's got the moral compass that he indeed seems to have, or else he's scared to have that power over himself, and so he gives it freely to the most obvious person. but they weren't there! it was his finger on the gun, his choice not to shoot!

thanks for the great review! i'm a newbie here, shy, wanted to say hi! i love your writing so much!


but you forgot

(Anonymous)

I found it interesting that Clark can't hear *wham* *bash* *fwap* *slam* of a fistfight in an enclosed space, but the sound of Lex moaning got his head to swivel right around.

They're *so* doing it.


minders

Sudden image in my head

"Mr. Kent, I'll ask you again, what was it that brought your attention to the scene?"
"Well, I heard Lex."
"Heard Lex doing what?"
".....moaning."
"Let me get this right, Mr. Kent. These two gentleman nearly destroyed an entire kitchen car on this train, threw around metal pots and pans and proceeded to hit each other against objects as loudly and often as possible, and yet it was Mr. Luthor's *moaning* that caught your attention?"
"Well, yeah. It's kind of a familiar sound."
"Thank you, Mr. Kent. That was more than I ever needed to know."

Yeah, that's officially being filed under Missing Scenes now, because I wouldn't be surprised if this new Sheriff actually asked him that.

Oooh. You slay me. Jonathan saving Lex? I’d videotape that episode to watch over and over again. And then I squick myself with the idea of Lionel somehow saving Lex. Eh. I’ll let someone else go there.

Lex really was disturbingly sexy. There's just something so appealing about seeing Lex, who prefers to be all calm and controlled, go absolutely wild. Being posessive, driving fast, yelling at people, stalking down the hospital corridor, coat flapping majestically behind him, waving his big ole phallic symbol -- I mean, gun -- around. And Helen's first thought was that Lex didn't kill because of Clark. Even she recognizes the hotness that is Clex.

Yes...definitely a good episode. *g*

"Go away, Lex."

"But Jonathan, you saved me."

"What happened to Mr. Kent? And will you stop trying to give me that Ferrari?"

"I was going to run over a cow, and then I had to stop, because I thought of you! YOU, Jonathan!"

"...what cow?"


*dies* Girlie, you're on crack. Like the good kind. But it's totally true. Poor woobie baby. Just wants to be saved.

Last week, Helen found out about Lex's One True Obsession. You know, the room, the blue light, the three foot tall picture of Clark? Yes, that one. If you think REALLY hard, yo'll remember. Apparently, Helen forgot. Very strange. Lex may have found his soulmate, or at very least, his First Minion. Anyone see if she was wearing jackboots?

I still hold by the theory that she's just Lex's beard. Yes, that's right, in my own pretty shiny world of Denial, Helen is Dr. Bryce, Uber!Lesbian. They just skipped the scene with her walking in on Lana showering after her training session with Lex. Helen just doesn't work for me. Blame it on my withdrawal from Farscape J/A Uber!Chemistry, but the only chemistry I see is Clex. And maybe a threesome with Lana, just for kicks. I'd throw Chloe into that equation, too but not before she does something about that hair.
To sum up, wonderful violence. Hot Lex. Mmmmm, Nearly Evil Lex is a-brewin', which is always good. As for Helen- Denial World is a pretty place. Note the petty logic of Denial World:
a) Helen didn't smile when he proposed. Nor did she stand up and do a Recently-Near-Fatal-Accident version of the Dance of Joy. Thus, she knows that this is Lex's way of saying, "You wouldn't let me get you a car. Would you like to wear a shiny object on your finger for a while instead?" Thus, no engagement.
b) The ring itself. Tiny diamond. Notice how it didn't take two hands to heft it up to propose to her? Yeah, that wasn't a Lex Luthor move. Remember Lex? He's the one who gave Clark a high-end, top of the line truck as a way of saying "Nice to meet you, thanks for giving me mouth to mouth. Wanna do that again sometime?"
c) Hear that pretty song in the background? Yeah, that was some cracked-out shippy version of Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper." It's not proposal music when the lyrics include, "seasons don't fear the Reaper. Nor do the wind, the sun, and the rain."

Sorry for the rant, but Helen is FirstMinion, Beard to Lex Luthor and current Keeper of the Tiny Fake-Engagement Ring. And thus, my rant is through

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