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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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updating. yes. it surprises me too.
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
God, I feel so alienated from fandom. Which is probably why I'm so stressed; coming here's a fantastic release valve.

Okay, to reiterate and play catch-up: life hard. Want cookies.

Middle Sister and Boyfriend are marrying on the ninth. They're disturbingly excited about the coming baby. This is significant in the fact we have about seven and a half months to get ready for this kid.

Now, recently, I started pulling up Baby Armani and staring lustfully at overpriced sleeperes at Macy's. This can all be explained by the fact that I was feeling crappy this last weekend and suddenly thought to myself, I need to read QaF fic!

Oh dear God. I never get out of those fic without suddenly wanting to take out a loan and go on a Prada buying spree, even though:

a.) I'm not very much into designer, and know painfully little about it, and care less.

b.) I'd need a serious loan to *afford* it.

I think the bad part is, I didn't want to read the good stuff off my and some other people's rec pages. Oh no. I wanted romance. Deep romance. Beautiful, purple, talk-about-feelings, everyone-cries, epic romance.

Which is why I was emailing eleveninches this:

(you can actually trace my slow but inevitable slide to insanity through my email.)



Tuesday

Note: been reading QAF. Had rage blackout at black background with green
text. WHO DOES THAT EVEN IN FREAKING 2003????? OH MY GOD.

Also. Do you remmber that superangsty dom/sub Brian/Justin with all the
drugs and it's like five thousand parts and yeah, that describes a lot of
fic in that fandom. *sighs* I just remember this one bit where they are
seeing a psychologist which is totally awesome with Justin walking around
with a black eye because it's very healthy in their relationship or
something.


Tuesday, later

I am seriously looking for Tourette's Syndrome Justin.

I think someone should kill me now.


Wednesday

I haven't looked at ATP for a while. I think I will tonight. I have no
reason to *WANT TO LIVE*.

Though there's another series now I want to re-read, where Justin never
meets Brian but instead some doctor and is held captive until Brian saves
him adn he'sall beat up and it's very romantic and OMGIWANTTODIE.

Going home to die now, kthx.

I WILL FIND THEM AND SEND YOU LINKS! THAT WILL BE MY REVENGE.


Wednesday, later

I have no idea why I'm revisiting this. I think I missed Brian. It's so
weird. A part of me really wants an excuse for Brian and John Sheppard
to meet and have sex and for the life of me, I cannot figure out *how*.
Then Amireal is having morbid plotbunnies of Dean Winchester and Ted
bonding while Brian nails Sam in the backroom and then we lit the
plotbunny on fire and promised never to speak of this again.


Wednesday, even later

There is not enough bleach in the *world* to erase the image of Ted
domming Justin.

The word spork was invented for this moment.


Thursday, very early

I AM READING [Fic X] AND I AM GOING TO SO KILL MYSELF IT IS
OH MY GOD 809 PAGES LONG IN TIMES NEW ROMAN AT 12 POINT FONT. I THINK I
WOULD FEEL BETTER IF IT WAS IN EIGHT SO THE HORROR WOULD LOOK LIKE LESS.

GOD THERE ARE GOING TO BE BABIES PLZ SEND HELP.


Thursday, later

I CAN'T BRIAN IS TALKING ABOUT HIS FEELINGS AND RUNNING TO ITALY TO FIND
HIS HUSBAND.

YES HIS HUSBAND OH GOD LET ME DIE


Thursday, very late

[sent her traumatizing fic section. I think she blacklisted me]



Other News

Youngest sister is MIA again, after moving back in and fighing with everyone. OTOH, this means I don't have to obsessively hide the Ritalin in a new place every damn day.

Going to the beach with entire family this weekend. We rented a condo on the beach, so it should be interesting, provided we all don't try to kill each other.

Vannezsa's agreed to care for Waffles. I pity her malleability.

Universe is slowly becoming less hectic. My sleep has been seriously fucked this week with the sudden influx of--well, everything. I think it's some kind of karmic justice thing for me and Madelyn spending all of the last day of the cruise lying in lounge chairs in the sun and snapping our fingers for more daquiris and maui mauis. It was a lot of daquiris and maui mauis.

Totally worth it. I have the cruise pictures on my camera and will upload a few when I can get the docking station to stop being idiotic. There are none in existence of me doing karaoke while perhaps a bit not-sober. This is a good thing. I just wish there were pictures of svmadelyn on her horse. You should ask her about it. Really. It doesn't even make her grind her teeth audibly anymore!

Honestly, after this next weekend? I cannot *wait* to get back to normal.

*sends special love to the slumberparty girls* I miss you all. It was amazing fun.


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A part of me really wants an excuse for Brian and John Sheppard
to meet and have sex and for the life of me, I cannot figure out *how*.


My brain wen to fleet week, except John isn't really a sailor. Maybe they are both in town to get some sailor ass?

(I am going to blame this idea on Some where Beyond the Sea by Frank Sinatra.)

*bites lip*

So. *Tempted*.

Though there's another series now I want to re-read, where Justin never
meets Brian but instead some doctor and is held captive until Brian saves
him adn he'sall beat up and it's very romantic and OMGIWANTTODIE.


Um. ::koff:: if you haven't found it yet I might possibly, maybe, potentially have a link. ::koff::

You do? It doesn't sound familiar at all.

IS THERE A QAF FIC I HAVEN'T READ??

Though there's another series now I want to re-read, where Justin never meets Brian but instead some doctor and is held captive until Brian saves him adn he'sall beat up and it's very romantic and OMGIWANTTODIE.

Oh god, I want to die too, but I think I really need to read this first. I am shameless when it comes to my bulletproof kinks.


*points up to directions on how to find it*

*cannot believe that I remembered where it was*

Ah, badfic. Did you know darksylvia wrote a GOOD QAF/SPN crossover?

Oh! Oh! My turn! Link? I am DYING for a good QaF/SPN.

for your omgwtf pleasure

There's a story being discussed on fanficrants with the line

The cock ramming into his tight entrance was huge and hard, slamming constantly into his pancreas.

*Pancreas*. Internal organs everywhere are fleeing for shelter.

Fortunately it's in the "original" section at adultfanfiction.net, so no beloved characters were traumatized in the making of this anatomical impossibility.

Re: for your omgwtf pleasure

*dazed*

It's like all the sunshine in the world was sucked out when I read that line.

Dude, YOU were all about the Sam/Brian and I didn't set the WHOLE bunny on fire, just the tiny fuzzy bits about Micheal's Dad.

YOU WERE ALL TED AND DEAN!

HA! Little do you know that there are, in fact, pictures of you half-drunkenly singing karaoke! I took them myself with... someone's camera! I'm not sure who it belonged to of our group, but there is DEFINITELY a fangirl with a digital camera with proof of you singing karaoke. Possibly binckles or vic_ramsey. I even walked around to get pictures from all angles, just in case.

Don't worry, I'm sure they won't be used for blackmailing purposes. *g*

morbid plotbunnies of Dean Winchester and Ted bonding while Brian nails Sam in the backroom
For some fucked-up reason, I find this appealing like whoa.

Also, for all your QAF needs, you should go through Miss Miko's fic. You can spend weeks on her website!!

you know, it's a rediscovery now. I started just because I needed something to do and was fixing some of my qaf links and ended up---yeah. *sighs* God. I forgot Miss Miko.

*adds to list*

You reminded me of so many things I'd worked hard to repress.

Well. Someone else needed to suffer and it had to be someone who would understand....

Now I remember why the Austrian movement existed. *stares at current reading* It's a dark place.

I read some QAF porn last night and it was a wonderful trip down memory lane. I think I only lurked around the fandom for something like six weeks while I sped through my Netflix-provided DVDs, but it was a fun six weeks.

You should talk to issaro and commiserate over sibling woes.

And I hope your sleep cycles get back on track. And that normal is achieved soonest.

*pounce*

*giggles* Thank you.

I should evilly send you fics randomly by email so you can--appreciate--the romance I have been reading. YEs, that is the word.

Oh QaF. You were my first fandom, and I can honestly say I've never seen another quite like it.

Is it sad that I think I've read all those fics that you mentioned?

I have been in--God, six fandoms, and lurked in others. And yeah, there's is *no fandom* quite like it.

Hope everything calms down soon. And I hope you have a good time at the beach!

*blink*


OMG I AM WRITING YOU THAT PORN I PROMISED I WOULD AND I AM WRITING IT RIGHT NOW STEP BACK FROM THE LEDGE.

But but i want to write a John and Rodney story where they get married and have five kids and matching cockrings and Rodney becomes a stay at home dad!

WHY DO YOU DENY ME THE DREAM?

I'm just in the middle of a wonderful treat-listening to somewhere I have never traveled. Somebody great took the time to read it all aloud and share it with us. And, although it is wonderful luxuriating in the spoken word,it has a bittersweet quality to it because of the dreaded last snippet out there. I read your rationale for it but it still is so hard to wrap my mind around. Your Lex, although flawed was, I believed, completely devoted to Clark. On first reading it(sometimes I wish I hadn't) I felt literally kicked in the stomach. I blush to admit the unhealthy devotion I have to my fictional characters but again it is just a compliment to the power of your writing that such a visceral response could be elicited. If you could please find a way to fix this, I would be eternally grateful. I would hate to have the last impression of these wonderful characterization you created to be one of hurt,betrayal and hopelessness. I know it can't be an easy fix, but in reality many a reltionship have weathered stormy times and come out on the other side stronger. Well, in for a penny in for a pound as the expression goes, how about the ending of landscape? Your writings have provided me with hours and hours of entertaining satisfication (many a rereading) and somewhere i have never traveled, along with glady beyond, remains in my top ten favorite stories. thanks

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