I had a GOOD first day.
My day started last night, however, in less than impressive circumstances.
You know that thing, where you say, okay, I shall go to bed early and get up, bright and chipper in the morning? I shall sing in the shower and drink coffee at leisure, smile at everyone, and well, you know, try to be a scary happy new employee cliche? The kind everyone fears?
See, I thought I was going to do that. Bravely, I ignored friendslist, refused to turn on AIM, ignored my email, and sat down to write until a very healthy ten o'clock, which was going to be bedtime. Riiight. So I sat down with a story (yes, the Remix and the Bizarre CLex brothers fic) and said, I shall work on this for an hour and then go to bed.
Around midnight, I looked up and thought, hmmm. I've been writing a little beyond my allotment. But, got ten pages added, so what the hell. I had no idea I was that tense about today.
So, to spare the details of a morning I'm trying to forget about myself, that started at six AM....
Dear God, I haven't filled out so much paperwork in my LIFE.
Health insurance. Dental insurance. Must choose doctor and dentist RIGHT NOW from this list. Life insurance. Retirement. Supplemental 401K. Supplemental life. Supplemental death and dismemberment (ask me how hard I started laughing when I saw that one, I work in an OFFICE). Supplemental dependent life. Insurance for if you get sick long term that supplements your short term. Supplemental short term that supplments the short term. Lalala, I am SO damn insured. Pre-tax removal of income for medical expenses, which is REALLY cool.
Also, the mysteries of paid state holidays, sick leave, annual leave, skeleton crews, and don't ask me what else, because I started getting dizzy and needed some dramomine to get through it all.
Like hell's grocery list. Seriously, they was more on there regarding all the ways I could die and what to do with the money than anything I've ever seen before. Did they expect me to die accidentally, like, RIGHT THEN? Because man, would my family be well off. Maybe I should be careful sleeping tonight. Hmmm.
Near the end, I was just checking whatever he told me to check. For all I know, I sold my soul to the state of Texas. And you know? Would not be surprised.
This, by the way, took an hour and a half, filled a binder, and I still have more paperwork to fill out and turn in. I am documented in so many, many, scary ways.
I also have an ID. Two, really. One where I look gripey, one where I'm smiling. I will use these so others can anticipate my mood. Must wear AT ALL TIMES. Little chains go along with it. I didn't ask if we get collars, but I was tempted.
I was introduced to my supervisor, then carried aroud the office like a prize sow to be shown about and introduced to, well, everyone with a pulse. I remember ONE name from this, and only because she's training me, sort of. Now, to clarify, this office doesn't have what anyone sane would call, say, a PATTERN. It's just halls and offices and open spaces that appear completely randomly with no actual way to figure out how it all fits together. It's also split level. And rather large. And the doors don't always go where logic says they should. And then there's the fact that file rooms aren't entirely all in one place. A-something is *here* while the next letters of the alphabet are way the hell over there, and then whatever through z are just sitting in the middle of this open space surrounded by--well. I think it was computers that no one seems to be using. Seriously, landmarks were difficult to come across, except for the guy with Christmas lights in his office. God bless him. He was my reference point once I figured out what he referenced. Er, sort of.
Don't ask me how often I was wandering around looking for landmarks. Just don't. It's embarassing.
Anyway, my position doens't include formal training. It's sort of a throw-them-toward-it-and-laugh whilst-watching-them-scream type of situation, which frankly, I think must be a lot of fun if you're one of those watching the screaming. So I have four days--three days, since today is over--to learn my position, as the chick is leaving on Friday.
Yes, that's what I said. Four days. Three now.
Suffice to say, I took notes.
The coolest thing is, they are instituting a new computer interface in this office, as it's apparently the test office (or one of them) for this new system. My mother's been working on the design committee for the last two (three?) years, so it's not entirely foreign, just different, and from her, I know what it's eventually GOING to do. This is good and bad--when it all does come online, man, life will be cool, but right now, I keep expecting it to do what we have to do by hand.
On the other hand, coffee everywhere. I mean, like, everywhere I go, a coffee pot. Oh hell yes. Also? Great little cafe nearby. I'm also happy about that. And well, their idea of business casual seems to encompass everything but blue jeans and capri pants. Huh. So you know, won't need a wardrobe overhaul.
I'll do one anyway, but now it'll be more for fun.
Right, I'm boring. That's okay. Had a Very Interesting and Stimulating Day. And got to play with a shredding machine, which you know, the joys of which cannot be underestimated. *happy*
Suffice to say, had a blast.