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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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several different things, all mashed together
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
Start off. I'm way behind in my reading.

Recs

Thank you, Ma'am by Laura Shapiro. Whoa. How Chloe/Lana should always be. Damn. This could make me a believer.

Jacob's Ladder by Illuferret. I tend to be prejudiced in favor of this author in general--her style and tone always hits me just right. But as an interesting Lex pov, it's very good.

Match Girl by Tara LJC. Chloe/Clarkish, but I can overlook that since it's Tara and she makes it work for me. Chloe's in the snow! Who will rescue her? Let us think. Fun story with a really good Chloe characterization. And I have a huge weakness for snowfic.

Little Pitchers by pearl_o Oh cuteness! Kent-kid fic. Adorable and cute and an excellent pov of a small child. Contains light slash. Caroline's adorable. I'm weak. *grins* Currently Level Three isn't quite working, so direct link when I can get it.

*****

The Spam Reports

Continues per usual. My nonexistent penis is still being solicited. Answer pending--when I can find one, I'll surely ask if it wants to be three inches longer, though that may hurt its feelings and make it feel inadequate, causing it to run away and call all girls mean. Oh darn.

My breasts have felt neglected for the last two weeks, but I've told them that surely the spammers will remember to ask about them any day now.

No more matchbox car spam. It makes me sad. I have, however, been asked several times about my attitudes toward Britney Spears look-alikes cavorting with domesticated equines. After a brief tour of the bathroom, the answer's still no.

*****
Other Things

Getting over my fit of pique, I'm thinking of buying a piano soon. Now, normally, you'd wonder, can she play? If you're talking in the purest technical sense--knowing where the keys are and what fingers go on what--then sure. If you're thinking, are we talking concert-class? Only if you're a masochist. I'm lucky to get The First Noel out right.

But still, it feels like I should have one. Not only for Child, who I feel should be well-rounded and well, for the petty reason that isn't a deciding factor but really does make life more fun. Frankly, while I love my family, the male portion has a disturbing tendency to look worriedly on anything that doesn't involve sports and mud. I come from a family of Republicans and Baptists and not a few fundamentalists.

Ask me one day about a particular Thanksgiving dinner where I announced that I should become a porn actress for the excellent pay. Really, the fun never ends if you're creative with my family.

Coming off my interview-getting high, I plunged immediately into panic. She won't like me, I'm too tall. Too talkative. Too something. Weird hair. You get the idea. I'll lose my mind during the interviewing process and start babbling. I'll somehow let slip I write porn for fun. Frankly, I think that should go on my resumee, but hey, apparently there are people in the world who don't like that. Who knew?

Child had friend over and sought out destructive play. I'm all for destructive play. Except for the Lincoln Logs, because those suckers are way too much fun. For the Child, I mean. Not for me. I'm a casual user.

Working on primary edits on Somewhere and Gladly. My God, the continuity errors. Seriously. So. Damn. Many. Lots I knew about, penalty of writing as I did. Some I had no clue existed. Man, this is going to be fun.

*****
Fandom

First instinct was to defend, as of about thirteen separate posts ago, give or take a few, since I didn't keep count. I'm not. I've burned out my desire to be defensive and most of my actual sympathy. This could actually be the point where I give up.

SV is a mean fandom? Fine. All of the SV writers are cruel and malicious to newbies at the drop of a keyboard? Yep. We all sit around plotting ways to keep them out and make them miserable? Whoo-hoo. I certainly do all of these things regularly. Every day, even. Everyone in SV does. Everyone knows that. And that makes it absolutely true.

The coolest part is, if I just accept it, I don't have to stress over it anymore. I like that part the best of all.

*****

Birthday party, go or not. Go or not. It's vanilla cake of some kind, con. But also nachos and enchiladas, pro. This is a very important question. That I don't actually know the birthday person personally is a moot point. Nachos!

I think I'm going to take a nap and get my sense of humor back. It is in need of some serious downtime.


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Yes, I always wonder why penis-related spam finds me. Maybe they don't care what sex the spamee is. Maybe they are hoping that anyone in close relationship with a penis needs that info? Inquiring minds wonder. :)

I've wondered that myself. I mean, should I know someone with a penis I felt comfortable enough with to see the penis in question? Why in the name of God would I tell him "get three more inches on that thing". Seriously. That just says "very bad way to keep penis around" you know?

I think they're trying to ruin social lives, that's what they're doing.

Words. Committed to screen. There's subtle madness in a certain cell in Arkham. I'll find you later tonight.
D.

Oh DAMN that's unfair. DEVIN!

*stomps foot*

I woke up in Arkham. Well, technically in bed while Jimmy Neutron played somewhere off in the distance, but I'm definitely still channeling Joker and half-cracked Lex today. Excited.

(Deleted comment)
I'm setting myself 'no friendslist for three days without specific rec' course. Seriously, something is wrong with me if I'm letting this get to me as much.

*hugs* Thanks for the well-wishes.

Ask me one day about a particular Thanksgiving dinner where I announced that I should become a porn actress for the excellent pay.

LOL! How old were you? Were you adult-and-out-of-the-house?

I guess my family's boring. I once pondered to my mother as to the benefits of being a phone-sex worker. She thought the idea had possibilities.

Technically both--my freshman year in college. It was--not one of my finer 'get along with the family' moments, but the memory does get me through really boring family events.

*happy sigh*

*grins* Phone sex worker? Hee! You can make a lot of money doing that. Or you know, so I've heard.

*grins* Phone sex worker? Hee! You can make a lot of money doing that. Or you know, so I've heard.

But as Corky and the Juice Pigs tell us, "Phone sex girls aren't pretty..." So you might be better off going for visual porn. (Last I heard, Blowfish was looking for actresses...)

Honestly, if I was any kind of an actress or even just had a decent speaking voice, I think I'd go for it. It's pretty much recession-proof, you can work from home... what's not to like?

Here's my thinking fwiw. In every fandom you have some cool people who look out for newbies, who are friendly, and who do all the things that make fandom worthwhile. And in every fandom, you have the people who set your teeth on edge, who have no tolerance for people who don't know the history of the fandom intimately, who don't know the rules, etc., etc. And then you have the bunch in the middle who really must wear some sort of rosy-colored specs all the time so that they just don't see any tension. They read, they send their feedback and they get on with their lives.

The problem, as I see it, in Smallville, is that the ruder folks are the more vocal on ClarkLex, and they make the place uncomfortable for the newer folks and it's rare that anyone smacks them down. So the newbies think that the rude folks are representative of the fandom as a whole even though I don't really think they are.

Don't know if these observations help your blood pressure or not, I hope they do. :)

*grins*

Intellectually, when I sit down and think about it, I know you're absolutely right on every point. I'm just icked anyway, so this week, it just hit exactly wrong.

I've GOT to stop overreacting.

*hugs*

(Deleted comment)
Heh. I always hate it when people are reading over my shoulder on the subway--or my mom asks: "So, whatcha readin'?" That one's fun to answer!.

*deep breath* Oh my GOD that would freak me out. I took a story to class once in my first fandom to edit, because, well, the class was boring, and the closest I came was my professor getting bored adn walking while lecturing. I just KNEW he'd see it. *grins*

Subway. Dear God.

And thanks for the good wishes on the interview! I'm trying to cross my toes, but so far, they dont' want to STAY that way. If I lose this? I'm totally blaming my toes.

*hugs* Double thanks.

Apparently, I'm a hermaphrodite who's into farm animals, since I tend to get all three (penile lengthening, breast enlargement, and farm animal porn)types of spam back-to-back in my inbox. It's a wonder I don't have identity issues... *g*

On a more serious note, I hope you don't let this latest flap get you down. In all the fandoms I've been part of (X-Men, most recently), I have *never* met a more friendly and welcoming group of people. As a newbie to LJ, I never expected anyone to bow down, kiss my feet and satisfy my every whim by telling me how great I was - I've only posted one fic and one drabble, and have a long way to go in improving my writing to merit even half the attention the more talented people in this fandom do. Regardless of that, people have always been friendly, and I have never felt excluded. So, long story short (TOO LATE *g*), try not to let it get to you and keep doing what you're doing, because you do it so well.

On the interview front, don't worry so much - they're obviously extremely interested and you're gonna do just fine. I'll be thinking of you Monday and wishing you well {{hugs}}

Apparently, I'm a hermaphrodite who's into farm animals, since I tend to get all three (penile lengthening, breast enlargement, and farm animal porn)types of spam back-to-back in my inbox. It's a wonder I don't have identity issues... *g*

I have to find someplace I can use that as an appropriate sig file. *giggling* Love that.

On a more serious note, I hope you don't let this latest flap get you down. In all the fandoms I've been part of (X-Men, most recently), I have *never* met a more friendly and welcoming group of people. As a newbie to LJ, I never expected anyone to bow down, kiss my feet and satisfy my every whim by telling me how great I was - I've only posted one fic and one drabble, and have a long way to go in improving my writing to merit even half the attention the more talented people in this fandom do. Regardless of that, people have always been friendly, and I have never felt excluded.

*relaxes* It's actually pretty comforting to know someone did have a good experience coming in. And I am seriously overreacting this week. Gah.

Thanks. It really does help to know that so far, it's been fun for you. *hugs*


I have to find someplace I can use that as an appropriate sig file. *giggling* Love that.

Feel free - it's the truth *g*

*relaxes* It's actually pretty comforting to know someone did have a good experience coming in. And I am seriously overreacting this week. Gah.

I'm all about the comfort. Well, that and the pretty icons... and the porn... and the schmoop... *g* Nah, you're just stressed, that's all - so destress, have some fun and forget all about it ;)

My family and yours would like each other. *g*

I had a great conversation with my sister the other day:

Shannon: Can I visit your blog?
Me: Sure. Wait! Not at work.
Shannon: Why? Is there porn on there or something?
Me: Yes.
Shannon: ...

heh.

*chokes laughing*

I can HEAR this conversation! *giggling*

"Ask me one day about a particular Thanksgiving dinner where I announced that I should become a porn actress for the excellent pay. Really, the fun never ends if you're creative with my family."

Ok, can I ask today?

As for the interview, I am sure you will get it. If you are as good at whatever you need to be good at for this job as you are at writing smoking-hot gay porn, then youre a shoo-in. (shoe-in?)
If you need me for a reference, just lemme know.

I'd like to add myself to the list of askers, please!

My nonexistent penis is still being solicited. Answer pending--when I can find one, I'll surely ask if it wants to be three inches longer

I, unfortunately, did fall prey to the spammers, and my nonexistent penis did not become 3 inches longer as it thought it would. So now, it is in the depths of depression and has become nonexistently nonexistent, and never to return.

So, be really careful with your nonexistent penis.

That poor thing!

I'm sorry to hear it. It may never recover from that kind of trauma.

I second the Little Pitchers rec. So damn cute. So damn cute.

Having suburbanite parents, both of whom also got piano lessons when they were young, I got piano lessons.
I would suggest a keyboard, for beginners. They're less expensive and take up less room. Plus you can always tell child to go practice in his room if it gets loud, or to plug in headphones (also cooler, could be used for rock band later). Pianos are better acoustically, but they're pretty big and heavy.
-Silverkyst

Hmm. I hadn't thought of a keyboard, but that's a good idea too. Especially with the headphones. Hmm.

Thanks!

I had a keyboard years ago. Portable, definitely cheaper than the piano, and I had little stickers on the keys telling me what keys were what notes. I even sort of learned to play it...

SV is a mean fandom? Fine. All of the SV writers are cruel and malicious to newbies at the drop of a keyboard? Yep. We all sit around plotting ways to keep them out and make them miserable? Whoo-hoo. I certainly do all of these things regularly. Every day, even. Everyone in SV does. Everyone knows that. And that makes it absolutely true.

Ha! I knew it! SV fandom is ran by evil BNFs who get their kinks by dissing sweet innocent newbies who only want to be loved! *scoff* Please.

Where is all this meanness going on Jenn? Coz I'm new, and okay, I feel a little lost and out of the loop sometimes, but that's not the same thing. Pretty much everyone I've ever commented to has replied, and nicely. To tell the truth I feel a little *embarassed* at the thought that there are maniacal newcomers out there stirring up a frenzy. It makes me even more determined to fulfill my New Year's Resolution of sending a proper feedback email to everyone whose writing I fell in love with last year while unemployed, on hiatus from thesis, and *very* bored. You're top of the list, I promise! *g*

On another note, do you get the "buy a degree" spam? Coz I get offered penises (unnecessary) and breasts (even more so, I'm already a DD cup (is that TMI?)), but more than either of these, I get offered degrees. Every single day. And I really really want to email them back and tell them that I have my own, and they cost me seventy grand in real money. Well, $NZD, which is monopoly money to you, but it's real to us! God damn them all.

I'll get to work on that email, I swear.
Victoria.

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