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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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more on unfathomable vocabulary use
children of dune - leto 1
seperis
First, the good news--I have not seen prostrate substitued for prostate in *months*. It's so nice when people no longer mistake a noun for a verb.

Also happily, no wonton wantons. My need for Chinese has been curbed.

I'd like to say all is well in ficland, but I ran across Yet Another Rodney The Potato Shaped Man of Maximum Chubbiness. Okay. I just want to go on record. Someone needs to write a Jack Sprat and his wife fic for this pairing. Between anorexic/bulimic, hollow-eyed, slow starvation John Sheppard and The Largest Non-Sumo Wrestler Man in History Rodney, my fandom frankly *deserves* it.

Hmm. There has been anorexic John but no Weight Watchers Rodney on a calorie counting diet and crying into his low fat soy ice cream substitute. This is a great injustice.

So let's go to Verbs Maybe I Shouldn't Use For This Sex Scene.

1.) Plowed.

Maybe it's just me. I'm totally insane like this. I grew up rural. We did not see plows in the context of sexual gratification. We saw plows in the context of dirt. With you know. Farming things. Okay, I'm rural, but I never worked a farm in my life. But still. I just--want you to consider, when you are writing about the tender lovemaking of Joe and Jay, and how their passion is so pure, and their love so wonderful, going to a place where someone is plowing someone else? Maybe not what you wanted to get across? Just--okay, I'm disturbing myself with visions of a backhoe and kind of want to lie down now.

2.) Pummelled.

As in pummelled the prostate. Did I spell that right? Seriously. Pummelled? Look, sometimes we may get tired of using those old, normal verbs, but they're old and normal for a *reason*. They do not remind people of school yard fighting. Okay, I've got to stop with the comparisons.

So? Any other verbs that bring unfortunate imagery?


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Pummelled?? The prostate? How would that even work? I mean, I don't think that's even physically possible. It sounds painful.

There are actually quite a few words in sex scenes which turn me off so fast I have to back out of there right away, but I think they're mostly personal squicks of mine. 'Penetrated' is one, actually. It's just so clinical. And 'anus'. Also most of the words for and about the anus, like 'pucker'. Ew. Also, 'hole'. And obviously anyone who refers to the penis as a 'member' or 'manhood' deserves to be shot. Also, the spelling of 'cum' for come, verb or noun. Actually, if sex scenes could be written without any reference to gross body parts or functions, that would be great.

In HP we used to get a lot of "rosebud"'s and "flower"'s. It's a wonder I'm not an alcoholic by now.

*shudders*. I was in HP for a long time and I don't remember ever seeing that. But then, in the context of Snape/Harry that would just be beyond laughable.

Throbbing manhood xD




*twitches*

Pummelled?? The prostate? How would that even work? I mean, I don't think that's even physically possible. It sounds painful.

It kind of leads to wanting to die or never have sex again, yeah. *shudders*

Hole and cum--oh God I hate those two, especially especially the latter. It's just--wrong. So wrong.

I blame it on porno mags. Makes me want to write them a nasty letter telling them to find a damn spell-check. Not that I, you know, read porno mags or anything. ::polishes her halo::

I pummell punching bags. That requires quite a lot of effort and energy, plus room that I don't think a prostate has around it.

'breached the...' is another. There is an image there of the armies of Alexander breaching the walls of various cities across Persia. Not really fond of 'pounded' either. It is... sounds... painful. Too close to jackhammered :P

Yes! Ugh, breaching. It's wrong. I don't know, though, 'pounding' can be okay when it's *meant* to be rough.

I have to admit that I once used the word "impaled." I am not proud. :-/

I've used it too. In my defense, I was using it precisely because it sounded like something that would hurt, and I was writing bad!sex.

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