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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation

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more on unfathomable vocabulary use
children of dune - leto 1
First, the good news--I have not seen prostrate substitued for prostate in *months*. It's so nice when people no longer mistake a noun for a verb.

Also happily, no wonton wantons. My need for Chinese has been curbed.

I'd like to say all is well in ficland, but I ran across Yet Another Rodney The Potato Shaped Man of Maximum Chubbiness. Okay. I just want to go on record. Someone needs to write a Jack Sprat and his wife fic for this pairing. Between anorexic/bulimic, hollow-eyed, slow starvation John Sheppard and The Largest Non-Sumo Wrestler Man in History Rodney, my fandom frankly *deserves* it.

Hmm. There has been anorexic John but no Weight Watchers Rodney on a calorie counting diet and crying into his low fat soy ice cream substitute. This is a great injustice.

So let's go to Verbs Maybe I Shouldn't Use For This Sex Scene.

1.) Plowed.

Maybe it's just me. I'm totally insane like this. I grew up rural. We did not see plows in the context of sexual gratification. We saw plows in the context of dirt. With you know. Farming things. Okay, I'm rural, but I never worked a farm in my life. But still. I just--want you to consider, when you are writing about the tender lovemaking of Joe and Jay, and how their passion is so pure, and their love so wonderful, going to a place where someone is plowing someone else? Maybe not what you wanted to get across? Just--okay, I'm disturbing myself with visions of a backhoe and kind of want to lie down now.

2.) Pummelled.

As in pummelled the prostate. Did I spell that right? Seriously. Pummelled? Look, sometimes we may get tired of using those old, normal verbs, but they're old and normal for a *reason*. They do not remind people of school yard fighting. Okay, I've got to stop with the comparisons.

So? Any other verbs that bring unfortunate imagery?

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There is of course also the other spelling of 'plowed'. You know, being 'ploughed' by someone. Preferably both in the same sentence. Mind you being that I spend too much time in medieval worlds I am always looking around for the Oxen.

*grits teeth* Sometimes I think people don't use their eyes when looking at DH. I know they don't use their brain. Actually 'big hands', 'large hands', 'big, square hands', 'stubby big hands' and any over use of similar descriptors are getting to me at the moment. I have this bizarre image of Rodney with enormous pointing mitts going up to his shoulders, flailing them around in circles. I've devoted time to studying his hands and am failing to see their enormity.


*dies laughing* Okay, now i have images of him with these massive hands that are just--like covering cities or something.
*chokes to death*

Is it a bird, is it a plane.. is it bigfoot? No! It is massivehands!Rodney! Who needs a shield on Atlantis? Just get Rodney to raise his arms. Swipe at a hive ship and cup the city under his palm.


I mean really, poor John gets subsumed in Rodney big hands cupping him. Touching him. *snerk* I'll show you John in the palm of my hand...

glad not to be the only one bothered by the big, square hands!Rodney
are those people unfamiliar with their source? what is going on here?

A case of mass blindness I think. Or perhaps they get confused with the fact that one of the directors (what's his name? Thingo... DeLuise?) uses his own hand to replace the actor's when they have a close up, late added shot? Although really that should mean JF gets the same descriptor, unless there are more close up shots of Rodney's hands.

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