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The Toybox

people for the conservation of limited amounts of indignation


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seperis
Not exactly ten unpopular fannish opinions, but i'm very, very, very bored. I do not mean the normal bored where svmadelyn defensively pastes badfic into my Trillian window to shut me up, either. That way lies fic where someone gives someone an assbaby and later some people become hermits to avoid seeing anything like that again. Sometimes, we plot revenge against them, long-term and slow over a period of years that they will never see coming. Then with surgical precision we will close the trap around them when they least expect it and then, only then, will they understand how you couldn't crawl out from under your desk for a week and still can't gaze at your own ass without horror.

Ten true public statements we all believe with all our hearts--or do we??????

Notice the excessive use of question marks.

1.) You are perfectly okay with constructive criticism.
LIE: You want to hear good things. Those that do not tell you good things are tasteless barbarians and destined for hell.

2.) You are *fine* with being unfriended and do not take it personally.
LIE: You plot revenge, ask all your fifty closest friends what you did wrong, get despondent, and write goth poetry to your pain. Please. I've seen your notebook.

3.) You are good with everyone else's other pairings.
LIE: Other people's pairings that you don't share are stupid. Logic? What logic? They just *are*.

4.) You never tell friends about controversial locked posts they can't see that you can.
LIE: You totally copy the entire thing, post it in word, and send it to her and all your closest friends. All five hundred of them.

5.) You are above kerfluffles and do not read them.
LIE: You read them, you take sides, you sockpuppet, then you email all your friends and tell them to help out.

6.) You are mature and responsible when you get flames.
LIE: You post it to your LJ and mock the writer, invite others to do so, then compose long entries on their genealogy.

7.) You never mock badfic in private or in private locked LJ posts only shared with a few close friends.
LIE: Oh please. Your entire AIM buddy list, your aunt Margaret, and your best friend from kindergarten have been pasted pieces of this monstrosity so you can share the trauma.

8.) In all fannish arguments, you are the voice of cool, calm logic and reason. You respect other people's right to believe things you do not.
LIE: Are you kidding me? You kerfluffle at the drop of an adjective. People who don't agree with you are stupid. They need to be taught a lesson. And you, with your five hundred closest friends, will administer the spanking!

9.) You do not bother with stat counters on your webpage except to assure you don't go over bandwidth and to make sure that no one is hotlinking.
LIE: You totally check to see what is being read, where they are linking from, and what they're saying about you.

10.) You are fine when there is a locked post by someone you know that you can't see.
LIE: Oh my God, the lie. You find out who this person has friended, whine until they show you, and talk about how much you dislike filters, silently plotting revenge for being excluded.

I STILL DON'T FEEL INSPIRED TO WRITE PORN. GOD WHAT KIND OF A WORLD DO WE LIVE IN WHERE PORN IS SO HARD? COCK ASS BLOWJOB IT IS NOT HARD.


Number nine's lie...you can do that? How?

If I did that? Which I don't. You know. Except for bandwidth purposes.

webalizer and awstats. They can collate data you had no idea existed.

I STILL DON'T FEEL INSPIRED TO WRITE PORN. GOD WHAT KIND OF A WORLD DO WE LIVE IN WHERE PORN IS SO HARD? COCK ASS BLOWJOB IT IS NOT HARD.

You're contagious, do you know that? The lack of porn is SPREADING!

SHHHH I WILL WRITE DIRTY BLOODY VAMPIRE PORN AS SOON AS I FINISH CAREFULLY CATALOGUING MY ENTIRE GARAGE IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER!

*chews nails*

Actually-- the whole other people's flocked and filters thing--

I really don't. I don't check I don't ask. The former because it never occurs to me most of the time and latter because it's rude and puts people in a bad position. *shrug*

As for porn. Didja se pentapus's John in Corset pic?

Ooh yes.

That was a beautiful thing indeed.

1) Actually I am.

2) Mmmm - sometimes.

3) "Good with" 90% of the time. Seriously. But don't talk to me about Due South. Still painful after all these years.

4) I don't think I've ever divulged locked post info to anyone, but I could be wrong. However, that doesn't mean that I'm some paragon of virtue, though I'm trying harder and harder not to be someone who, uh, "shares". ;)

5) OMG I am so not above kerfuffles. I even go to kerfuffles sometimes where I don't know the owner of the lj and I don't even care about the subject JUST TO TELL THEM THEY ARE WRONG.

6) I think I've been flamed maybe three times in my whole internet life, as I a) don't write fanfiction and b) don't often post anything controversial. I must not be working hard enough.

7) AHAHHAHAHAHA - mock mock mockity mock mock mock!!!

8) I... it... No. I have rarely been the voice of cool, calm logic and reason. When I *have* been, I'm always kinda surprised at myself.

9) Nope, I have no counters anywhere and I don't look at bandwidth or check who might be linking to me. I probably should.

10) Hm. How do you know there's a locked post by someone you know if it's locked and you're not on the filter? I think I'd probably react anxiously, but (I hope) I wouldn't pressure someone into telling me. If I find myself doing that, I will now consciously stop myself.

So... let's say I am good with about 4.5 out of 10, counting #1 and 2 as half each, and # 10 as a maybe?

Interesting post...

I'm at six of ten. A few of them are basically lack of opportunity to really take myself down in flames in a public venue, really.

COCK ASS BLOWJOB

Just, uh, not in that order? (If all this is happening to the same cock? Unless a condom is being used?) Cos EUGH.

I read that story. And yes, it made me cry. A lot.

I agree on all but #9 - I could just never be bothered to install monitoring software and my host's is crap. I do check stats for a couple of days when I post something new, though. Just to check the ratio of how many people downloaded to how many people commented, of course. Purely social-scientific research, that is. >_>

Exactly! Social research! I am totally behind these practical, educational uses.

I meant to add a number for counting feedbacks to self and feedbacks to others, but I forgot. *sad for self*

3.) You are good with everyone else's other pairings.
LIE: Other people's pairings that you don't share are stupid. Logic? What logic? They just *are*.


This is me. All other pairings are silly, except the pairing I love, which of course, no matter what the fandom, is THE ONE TRUE PAIRING GODDAMNIT. For example, McKay/Dex? Seriously, Rodney would open his mouth, and after two minutes, Ronon would either be on the run again, or would have killed McKay, or both. And Sheppard/Beckett - PLEEEAAASEEEE - god, John can't even tolerate listening to Carson go on about his baby turtles, and also anyone with eyes can see that John is totally hot for Rodney Rodney AND ONLY RODNEY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE DO THEY NOT HAVE EYES AND WATCH THE SAME SHOW OHMYGOD...


OH MY GOD YES PREACH PREACH IT NOW. WORD TO BOTH! WORD INFINITY TIMES SEVEN THOUSAND TO BOTH! THIS IS THE WORD AND ALL BOW BEFORE IT! KNEEL BEFORE THIS RIGHTNESS!

Which is to say, I agree, I think.

Seriously, just hearing the former makes me twitch. The latter just makes me shiver.

Ahahaha. SAD BUT TRUE.

All utterly perfect. :-)

COCK ASS BLOWJOB IT IS NOT HARD.

GET IT HARD THEN. SEEMS YOU NEED MORE FOREPLAY!

*hates on my OTP wildly*

They are being difficult. DIFFICULT.

I should go color coordinate my trash now.

1.) You are perfectly okay with constructive criticism.

Actually, I am most of the time. My betas will tell you that occasionally I dig in my heels about something, but they give me a few minutes to a few hours and then I'll discuss it rationally with them. *g*

2.) You are *fine* with being unfriended and do not take it personally.

I don't even know who has me friended. Well, with obvious exceptions of really close friends. I suppose if someone I considered a close friend unfriended me I might wonder why, but afaik that hasn't happened.

3.) You are good with everyone else's other pairings.

Like tzikeh, I'm still smarting from the Ray Wars, but outside of that, I have no problems with other people's pairings. Sometimes I boggle at them, but IDIC, man.

4.) You never tell friends about controversial locked posts they can't see that you can.

Hmmm. I don't think I have. I'm so very much not about the drama.

5.) You are above kerfluffles and do not read them.

Not above them, but ninety-nine percent of the time they're more irritating than they're worth, so I make a point of staying away; I'm all about the Zen.

6.) You are mature and responsible when you get flames.

I...don't think I've ever gotten a flame.

Oh, wait! I did get an email once from a guy who said that my slash fic disgusted him and that I was going to be responsible for him killing himself. That was kind of WTF.

7.) You never mock badfic in private or in private locked LJ posts only shared with a few close friends.

Um. Guilty as charged.

8.) In all fannish arguments, you are the voice of cool, calm logic and reason. You respect other people's right to believe things you do not.

Well, I try not to get involved in fannish arguments anymore. I was never the voice of logic in the past, and when I get drawn into them nowadays I try to be cool and calm, but whether or not I succeed.... *g*

9.) You do not bother with stat counters on your webpage except to assure you don't go over bandwidth and to make sure that no one is hotlinking.

Don't have stat counters on my webpages. I do look at the "read" count on Wraithbait, but mostly so I can see what's most popular and get an idea of what works for readers. I've never looked at referrer stats or anything like that on my fic site.

10.) You are fine when there is a locked post by someone you know that you can't see.

See above, re: not about the drama.

Oh, wait! I did get an email once from a guy who said that my slash fic disgusted him and that I was going to be responsible for him killing himself. That was kind of WTF.

*boggles* People like that amaze me. *sad for them*

COCK ASS BLOWJOB IT IS NOT HARD.

That could be your problem right there.

You need faniagra.

B

*chokes* God. I just--did not see that.

Awesome.

1, 9 and 10, you're totally right. I'm a shameless praise-whore. In my bad moments (okay, okay, fine, when I'm bored), I google myself to try and find recs of myself. The others - not so sure. On the other hand, I don't think anyone's ever defriended me or locked me out of a post, but I probably would secretly like goth poetry and dress in mourning if I noticed/found out. I do ignore kerfuffles. They're upsetting. I fear confrontations. I don't read badfic, but that's mostly because I have little enough time to read *good* fic, I don't waste my time. If I had run out of good fic, I would undoubtably read bad fic and laugh.

Now write porn!

*shame*

The google thing? Done that. Oh yeah.

Hmm The badfic thing. Now you tempt me to send you some of the things I have had inflicted upon me.

Perhaps it not being hard is the problem?

*ducks and runs*

1.) You are perfectly okay with constructive criticism.

Shyeah. Right.

2.) You are *fine* with being unfriended and do not take it personally.

Um, so much with the no.

3.) You are good with everyone else's other pairings.

Depends on the fandom. Sometimes yes, sometimes way the hell no.

5.) You are above kerfluffles and do not read them.

Bwa-ha-ha! *cough* Um. I may not take part, but boy do I point and laugh.

7.) You never mock badfic in private or in private locked LJ posts only shared with a few close friends.

*giggles* Nope, so not me.

10.) You are fine when there is a locked post by someone you know that you can't see.

Um, sometimes? Because I know that 90% of my locked posts are actually private locked notes only to myself, and so I figure other people do this too. But sometimes? When I see someone linking to a post in comments and that post is locked? I sooooo want to see it.


2.) You are *fine* with being unfriended and do not take it personally.
Joule has been down for 3 days now and it bugs be beyond words: because someone defriended me and I want to know who, dammit.


Um, yes, just FINE.

3.) You are good with everyone else's other pairings.
Ahahahaha! Ha! No. I'm one of these hardcore OTPers. It ain't pretty. :((

5.) You are above kerfluffles and do not read them.
Umm, I have a morbid fascination with fandom wank. I've never had a sockpuppet before, though.

7.) You never mock badfic in private or in private locked LJ posts only shared with a few close friends.
*bites lip so hard*


(ps: did the TDS vids come through?)

YES! THANK YOU! LOVE YOU SO MUCH! SO MUCH HAPPY!

Me and capslock are very close today.

*grins* While I was writing these up, I was twitching. So--yeah.